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3RICE (Andrew, printer and author y of Exeter) The Mobiad: Or, Battle of the ^ 

/oice. An Heroi-Comical Poem, Sportively Satirical: Being a briefly historical ^'^^ 

latural and lively, free and humorous Description of an Exeter Election in . - : 5: 

>ix Canto's. Exon: Printed and Sold by Brice and Thorny 1770. £4 10s -v 

tvoy CX>NTBMPORARY CALF. FIRST EDITION. Boiuid with a copy of Dalrymple*s Considerations jT' . 
Jpon the Policy of Entails, Edinburgh) 1764 

3rice, a remarkable character, who ran a weekly newspaper from 1715 to 1773, and brought out a 
jTond GoMetteer or Topographical Dictionary, wrote the Mobiad in 1738. The tone of the poem - 


Printed for W. Flexneyy 1767. 

4to, unbound; with half title. First edition. Containing references to Sheridan, Gray, 
Murphy, Mason, Colman, Langhorne, Whitehead, Clive, various actors and even con 
tailors, shoemakers, &c. 

195 CAUSTON (Peter) Tunbrigialia. Londitu: 4ff,f(^^^\(> 

8vo, unbound, pp. 12. Scarce. A Latin poem on Tunbridge Wells, with a dedication 
gratitude to G. Frohock, on whose recommendation the author seems to have taken i 
with much benefit. 

1Q#^ r.F.PVANTRS. The Most AHmiVoKi- «-j T^.t.-* .*. - — 


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■ / 

'J' H E 

M O B I A Dr 

D R, 

Battle of the voice. 




Being a briefly hiftorical, natural and liycly, free add 
huniorous. Description 




lUuftrated with fuch Notes as for finti Readers may 
« be fuppofed ufeful. 

By Democritus Juvenal, Moral 
rrofefTor of RicTicule, and plaguy-pleafant ^Uow of 
Stingtickle tdlege j . ' 



- - - - Magno in popolo cam faspe coorta eft 
Sedicio, fxvitque animis ignobile vulgus, 
Jnfequitur clamorque virum, furor arma mihiftrar* 
Prsefentemque viris intentant omnia mortem ; 
Difficile eft fatiram non fcribere. — Ridiculum acrt 
Fortius et melius magnas plerumqae ^ecat res. 


0» » « ■ I r III - I I ■ n »iiiiii»iB II I II ■ I . Ill I ■ . ,. 

EXON: P/ipted and Sold by 6 a i c £ and Thorn: 
And fold alfo by T, D a v i E s, in Grcat-Raffcl Street, 
Covent-Garden, London. MDCCLXX. 

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Jhe Author's Valediftory Sermon to this 
hopeful Spark, his Progeny, 

GP, thou playfome, flily-fnickering, dry-bobbing Soi| 
o^ Phantasy. That frolic Dame W2s hwiftly thy 
j^other ; conceived, form'd, apd with no hard Travail 

— {Indignation aiding) — jbroug^t thee forth. Historic 
Truth, however, had a finger in the pye, and (as ana. 
t}ier trite Saying goes) blow'd to thy making* Go ^ — try 
thy Fortune, as thy Betters have done* As Circumfianccf 
allowM, I brought thee up to • — what thou art ; have now 
tolerably doath'd thee in a decent plain Suit of Print : And 
what is to be done next but fend thee into the WorU \ 
Good Hands rebeive thee, and not harflily treat thee I And 
may'ft thou beft thrive in thy proper Vocation of pkqfiag 
a^d profiting thy Entertainers ! ' . ^ 

I fhould gladly have had beftow'd upon thee a (hort Te» 
ftimonial of fome or otlier Worthinefs, or good Property, 
in thee ; or elfe to have got fome Refpedable Name /or 
thy Prote£tion. But Patronage for Poetry, 'ihouM ieem, 
is now no more the Growth of every dime than is good 
Poetry itfelf. And alas ! Virgils thrive not but in the 
f:ultivated warm Garden of a Mobccnas. Kind Fofterers^ 

— ( One Swallow making of itfelf - - - but One ) — - and 
even a tutelary Mafter, feem as difficultly to be met with* 
So that, at the laft refort, thou muft for a good Run truft to 
thy own Legs ;— or, as fome Folk feem to think, to the 
compulfive Conduct of thy own Pl ane t : A Giiide vay 
precarious truly ; there being, they tell you, amongft the 
others, a villainous Twehe-farthing one, a cruel £^vier«f 
Merit, malicioufly more buiy with his Influence than all Ae 
reft. If fuch their Creed be orthodox, that mifdiievous 
Meddler, perhap, too much tampered with my own Nativity: 
Forcing upon ine a radical Itch of Scribbling, nay an ungaiii* 
ful foetid Turn 3 when Saturn himfelf mi^t have taken me 


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tihder his Care, and, giving the a ?repen(ion to dap tucratpdi 
PioJing, difpos^d my Bent for Money'raking like a Midas^ 
or any modern Ways-and-Ateam Monger that ever defcrved 
----- Preferment. 

Be not difhearten'd neither, tho' modeftly diffident. 
Hie Queftion fhould be. Haft thou any good Parts, or 
haft thou not I Humbly fhouldeft thou anfwer, it is not 
fbr thee to fay ; but that thou wouldeft readily fubmit to a 
candid, though dreading a vaftl^ rigid. Examination. 

New, if real Genius in thee beam fometimes forth, 
flitne frequently, and mord or lefs fparkle throughout thy 
Contipofition,' the Deuce or faid Planet muft lo^d thy Dice^ 
if thou findeft the whole World inho^itaUe. And if a 
fpr%htly Genius have found and manly Sentiment, and 
( what to this Kind of Poem is eftential ) ghtteel Drolery of 
Honour for Companions, fome fweet Souls may take you 
In fpgether for very Joke's fake. But if th6u b^ no Meriti 
no Tf^oribj nothing lovely^ in thee, •— I can't flattering fay, 
thou deferveft it. 

Alas, Child !— - To fay nothJng-of Erudition ;— Compe- 
tency of Knowledge, Vivacity of Thought, and Maturity 
of Judg^ient, and a fuitable Portion of well-govern'd 
PoBTic Fife, with certain other Sterling Somewhats not 
teadily to be here, by me, exprefs'd, but infinitely more 
valuable than JingU and Meajure^ Rhyme and Verfification^ 
are tequifite to the Conftraflion of right good POESY. 
Every jejune Poem^ or ftarveling Copy of Vnrfes^ is not It. 
If thefe fomewhats^ &c. are all lacking in thee, — I'd not 
give Two-pence a Year to infure thy Longevity. Well ; 
mayeft thou have equal Judges ! May a good Report of 
thee comfort me, and recommend tbyfelf [ So fare thee 
ivtU at once* 

Exon, July the 4th, 17^70. 

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< i. ) 



Written when the Poem was juft finifli'd, 
and intendedj at thjlt Time, (viz. in 1738*) 
to have been forthwith publifh'd. 

Ttt£ 'f ATLER recounts how Pa cole t his 
feignM Familiar cured a common Swearer, 
hy laying his own Language, penn'd, be- 
fore him. Though the Story be Fiftion, yet fuch 
Effeft were in Reality hot abfolutely improbable. 
The wife Spartans experimented fomething like 
itt in expofing their Slaves, purpofely made drunk, 
to the View of their Sons ; who were thereby the 
more renderM Abhorrers of fuch unmanning vile 
Debauchery. Could a Man^ of good Senfe and 
Fafhion, but perfedly fee and coiifider, in a fober 
Hour, his own Very Perfbn afting before others 
the filly and filthy Scene of a thorough Debauch, 
it might, poflibly, fet him more on his guard 
againft the like Intemperance for future, as well 
as fill him with Shame and Contrition for the paft. 

ft Why, 

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ii. P It E FACE. 

Why, then, might not fuch, in a Tort, behold 
himfclf, as it were in a Mirrour, in Hogarth's 
Midnight Conversation, or Ibme antfck 

. Chimney-piece more vulgarly baccahalian ? 'Why 
fhould the Moral of the pencilM Satire be over- 
looked or difregarded ? One might be apt to fancy 
Tavern -*Qyarrels, painted artfully in Tipiing- 
Rooms, might, if confiderately obferv'd, withold 
real Gentlemen of Breeding from* plunging into 
foch Depths of Liquor as might overwhelm their 

, Humanity, and transform t^ern for a Time to 
fuch worfe than Savages as in Colours reprelentedi 
And we fhould imagine, a Man, in calm good 
Temper, might hate, yet defpife, his own late 
Appearance pourtray*d the very Madman he 
looked, and behav'd, in Height of that Rage he 
was, flrangely he might think, thrown into. 

And wherefore fhould not the EfFeft hold in 
parallel Examples? Why might not fome heed- 
fully perufing a boiflerous Election, in which 
they were Agents or Agitators, (cfpeciaJly of but 
little if any Moment ) juflly defcrib'd in fuired 
Verje^ be afliam'd of the ridiculous or bafe Parts 
which they, as 'twere in Effigie, review they afted 
in the wretched Farce ? Why (hould they not fee] 
a Twinge of Thought at the Dangers which they, 
with others, proved inftrumental — ( though^ it 
may be, unwittingly^— in occafioning, as well as 
Remorfe at being any Way, even undefignediy, 
acceffaty to, Mifchicfs therein committed? 


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PREFACE. iii. 

This Poetic Sketch was dmwn to that honcft 
Intent. Though there are very few, if any, 
dircftly and perfonally charafteriz'd, yet Num- 
bers, lif they have Eyes of Underftanding, may 
difcern their own Images in Defcription expofing 
themfelves to Dcrifion, Contempt, perhaps and' 
Deteftation. Alfo may be feen to what a diftradled 
and unhappy Plight mere Whim and Fantaft have 
brought us.. Why then Ihould it not conduce to 
the correfting our Condudt, difcountenancing Tu« 
mult, reftoring Civility at leaft, and by Degrees 
recovering Trade, fo foolifhly deftroy'd by hare- 
brained Faftion ? Why may we not hope there- 
upon that Perfons of Equanimity may venture into 
publick and mix'd Converfation, be there us'd 
with Good-manners, and lee the Company fit, and 
in. due Seafon part, obfequious and mannerly at 
worft, — notwithftanding their having voted dif- 
ferently for a Forty Man ( as they ftyle him ), a 
Mayor, or Member of Parliament himfelf ? 

Though dreading a being furrounded in and by 
a MOB, efpecially a pent-up contending one, 
yet, to make proper Obfervations, and to colledt 
apt Materials, I, for once, voluntarily hazarded 
myfelf even on the very Spot of thickeft Uproar 
. and Confufion. At which Time, worfe than that 
of the Painter ( who, furpaffingly to delineate a 
Battle, in its various Horrors, to the Life, went 
joyfully to gaze at one, but therein loft both his 
Arms by his Curiofity ) had like to have prov'd 
my Hap ; not only almoft crulh'd to death in tho 
a 2 Throng, 

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iv, PRE FACE. 

Throng, but like to have my finall Portion of 
Brains prcfs'd out, or my Head itfelf wrung ofif, 
in the Gateway, endeavouring, ^t laft, to cff^pe 
put of the crow4c4 HaU* 

However rqugh, unfinifh^d, and incorrcft, ye» 
trifling and filly, the flight Perforniance be, or 
(hall be faid to be, — niy Vanity flutters itfelf 
it is pretty natural, piflqrefque, and indifferently 
full of genuine Humour: Which ar^ Hits and 
Ingredients not defpicable in Pieces of this Nat- 
ure. Yes, I ^m forward enough to fancy, thajt 
it is not quite devoid of fuch titillating as weU 
?is poignant Humour as may divert ?yen where 
it nettles, pleafe the Struck in defpight of the^r 
llefentment, and force them at lead co fhiile jui^^ 
^pon biting their ^p; qr Knuckles* 

It, being calculated principally for the Ufc an4 
Service of ibis City^ — (though not to be /b very 
heal as not to fit other Places ;-t- Mo bs being 
Mobs every-wherc) — as well s^s the Subjedt is 
a Traniaftion upon the Spot, I fhought fit to 
gather many of the coU^feral lacidents, Similes^ 
iHluHons, and other embellifliing Circqmflances^ 
as well as fomc Words and Phrafes of Propriety, 
from the proper Scene of Adtion, and Parts ad-t 
jacent j fo as to adapt the Boem moft properly 
to the Place. The ^ime of the Main Aftion alio 
confifts of about Six Hmurs -, each diftinguilh'd pro# 
pcrly by concomitant Jpl^nat well knowri to th? 


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Inhabitants. In managing of which, though the 
jnorc ftrcighten'd thereby of Fancy, I have had 
this one Advantage of fervile mechanic Imitators^ 
and Common - place Authors, yiz. of writing 
Things certainly my ozvn^ yea alfo, fuch as they 
ar^ ! probably »w. 

But, as it's pot impofTible it may iikewife fall 
into the Hands of Strangers, and at a Diftance^ 
and live too when the prefcnt Generation have all 
]ef( the Light, I have in the Bottom Margin fiir^ 
piih'd fgch with explanatory Notes, as well as illi<« 
terate Readers among oyrfelves with a f<^w others^ 
which they may need> feverally, to appreheod 
Matters by« 

Now, if the neighbourly prime End of it be 
happily attained, let the Execution itfelf be laugh'd 
at, defpis'd, or vilify'd, as much as thole who know 
any or no Reafon for it pleafe. Real Errors, as 
well as fmaller Slips, qu^e aut incuria fudit^ f^c. — ' 
(As where is the Work which has of all been 
thought ablblqtely clear of 'em ; — fince even that 
of Pope himfelf has not appeared infallible -,) -~ 
are, I queftion not, plenteous enough in it; and 
may be confpicuous to more judicious and lefs con- 
cerned Eyes, though my own too fond ones may 
npt have been able hitherto to difcover them : In 
which, as the Great Virgil himfelf found Gold 
in the Drofi of En ni us, poffibly the moft cen- 
forious and mdlevolent may own, that though there 


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are fome * Lines and Paflages but fo fa enough of 
ipy ZoiLus' Confcicnce, a great many more may 
be tolerable and f affable ; — and fome better than 
could be expefted from fuch a Country City as is 

I was launching, perhaps, into a too deep Prc- 
j^mptipOj and abalh'd draw back. — And yet, if 
any one fhall think fit to attack, cavil at, or 
tenter it, or any the worft of it he can cull out, 
let him but do it fairly f above-board, like a Man 
confcious of his Ability, or righteoufly fo as it may 
cpnie duely to my Knowledge, and I will thank 
him as for a Favour, however roughly, or Iport* 
fully (yet not abufivcly^, handled by him. If he 
condemns the Whole in Grofs, or any Part, it 
<p9tns but equitable he Ihould openly fix upon Par- 
Vcylars, and affign Reafons, — in their Turn alfo 
^Q be cxamih'd whether folid and of Force, or not j 
— and whether indeed the fou?id Faults may not 
happen to lie in the Finder. Such fometime$ 
proves to be the Cafe, Some Wou'd-be Critick< 
poffibly but df'eam that even minor Poets ( or, if 
you will fo have it, Poetafters) nod. 

A Man is not, indeed, oblig'd to like a Thing ; 
and it may be juft enough in him to fay he doe^ 
not like it ^ — ^nd that for the fubllantial and un- 


* Alluding to Sunt hna^ fwU quadam medioara^ Juni 
mala plura. 

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PREFACE. ^li. 

anfwerablc Reafon, hecaufe he does not. Let a Man 
be pleasM at what him pleafcs. But alas ! to prove 
the Thing which he may have taken in his Head, 
or in his Will, to diQike, (or, haply, has not in hi 
Head whereby to like) to the Author's Face to be 
in Fadt condemnable, and give fufficient Rcafons 
why no one elfe ought to like it, may not be fo 
cafy, or fo fafe. For the Tables might be turned 
upon him, and the Caufe of his finding fault may 
be found to be either his own Malice or Ignorance^ 
as well as Selfconccit, or Want of Judgment, 
Tafte, or Ingenuity. 

If but in private only any abiifively treat tliis 
Endeavour to do good, as is too oft* tbe 'Cuftom, 
Tuch clandeftine Cenfure is pitiful arid fneaking, 
and is the Part of but Scoundrels in the true Senfc 
of the Word. 

/" Something two much, pcrTiaps, of the**: 
For till I hear what Faults fhall appear in, or 
"be attributed to, the well - intended Opufculum^ 
much Apotogy fecms nccdlels, and hardly -pcr-^ 

However, — a Word by way of Prevention, in 
one particular Refpedt, may be requifite. To aflay 
a methodical Narrative of the whole (vifible) Trant 
aftion, I found a Neceffity juft a little to touch on 
the Appearance in it of our Worfliipfal Superiors. 
The Time, the Defign, the Nature, the facetious 

' —- "Spirit 

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viii. PRE FA C £. 

Spirit expeAable in fuch a Poem, alU neceflariljr 
exaded a like jocular Style in this with what runs 
through its other Parts. If" the light Manner of 
Expreflion may feem to oVer-fufpicious and , fari- 
ciful Eyes to betoken an indecent Difrefped in m 
towards T^n^wi^ fuch Seem is a falfe Appearance, 
I profef3 a fincere Veneration for Legal Offices, and 
all who worthily bear and maintain *em. Neither 
indeed hath the Mufe, though Ihe may have been a 
little familiar, and innocently playfome perhaps^^ 
in the leaft whit been affronting, or even unman- 
nerly. She has not taken a Tithe Part of the 
Licence claim'd by, and allow'd to, others on like 
Occafions. But even had (he fallen with down- 
right Inveftive on the Greateft among our Citizens 
that afted fcandalouHy and bafely in their Statbns, 
flie were by Reafon intirely juftifiable. •' For 
(fays the judicious Controvertift as well as mighty 
Poet * MiLtON) •* though Men ought not to 
•' [peak evil of Dignities which are juft, yet no- 
•* thing hinders us to fpeak evil, as oft* as it is the 
•* Truth, of thofc who in their Dignities do evil. 
" Thus did our Saviour himfelf, John the 
\*« Baptift, and Stephen the Martyr/* 

. And fhould it be conjeftur'd there were Inu* 
endo*s lut-king of fbme not over honourable Ma- 
nagement, and fly Sneers at queer Foibles, in fomc 
few, even fupposM to be diftinguilh'd Perfonagcs, 

, it 

^ la his Ichnnkftet. Art. xv« 

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It might be anfwer'd. Some Faults and Oddities 
in fuch Perlbnages may be exploded and fmiled at, 
and yet the inviolable Dignity of their Stations and 
Fundions be heartily refpcded. We know what is 
laid to the miftaken proud Afs bearing the Image 
of IsiSy by the Kneelers but to the Goddefs, Non 
tibi^ fed Religioni ; — Tis not to ^bee^ dull vain 
Animal, we pay this Adoration, but to the Divi* 
NiTY which thou^ Porter, hear eft. Befides, none 
but the Confeious and GalVd can be touch' d by the 
poetic Lafli; — and that Lalh but tickles neither. 

There may be Affairs carryM on by but ibme, 
perliaps a Majority, pafllng in the Name of a Body 
Corporate, which others of them might utterly 
abhor, oppole, and proteft againft. Such Gentle* 
men (for whom I cherifh a cordial Affeftion and 
Deference) I am confident, have more good Senfe 
and Good-nature than to conftrue in ill part the 
Points hinted at. And their Difpleafure alone in 
the Cafe would grieve me. They will eafily call 
to mind, in favour of my wonted Jocularity, that 
when the *Cy kic had in a grave Manner held forth 
againft the Vices of the City, and found that Peo- 
ple withdrew aloof, and kept almoft out of Ear- 
ihot, he began to tune his Throat, and . fing in a 
pleafant Strain Part oi a comic Song : Whereby 
he allured to him a confiderable Auditory, and 
gainM Opportunity of declaiming againft their fa*« 

b vourite 

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vourite Foibles (though) in his wonted, humcrous," 
more agreeable Way. 

To write an Inveftive againft the reigning Fol-. 
lies of the Town, in a Mode and Style intirely 
morofe and ftern, would be far lefs efficacious than 
to do it in a Manner diverting withal, and in jo-i 
cular though pompous Language. A bitter Pre- 
fcription may go down in a fweet Vehicle, which 
would be abfolutely refused, by moft Patients, if 
fimplc and undifguis'd. Thefe Confiderations wiU» 
I trufl-, convince them of the Ncceffity of the 
harmlcfs Freedom taken > or rather with their Bre-* 
thren, for the fake of others. A3 for the reft, — ^ 

«t Why, let the ftrucken Deer go weep, 
*' The. Hart ungalW play." 

The random Verfe pretends to aiiTi at no body. 
And if ^ny body wilj, by crying out,, declare him- 
(cli an hit fome-fbody, po-body will pi^y hin\, 
but every-body laugh ^t him. 

As fqr any coxcombic, proud, pitiful, J^cks-in- 
Gfficc, or " pelting petty Officers**, carrying Bull- 
beef Grandeur in their Strut and Afped, I fcorn to 
excufe my at any Time ridiculing luch ftately Fop- 
pery. Pride is odious in any ; but moft fo in luch 
as can boaft of no Great Extraftion, and of but 
mean Qualifications. The Pride of fuch is moft 
def^icable ; its Emblem the fwelling little Reptile 
jn the Fable, 


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Perfdns remote, who may poffibly look over 
this little Piece of Ralfery, may want to be adver- 
tised. That in the Time of the laft * Elcftion of 
Members to reprefcnt this City in Parliament, one 
Party diftinguifli'd them/elves by Coclcadcs of 
Blub Colour or Yellow. The Seat of one of 
the then chofen Members foon after becoming va- 
cant, before it was known ^iv ho would be Candi* 
dates for the Succeffion, the MOB (who before us'd 
to bawl about the Street, Sound for .... fuch an one : 
or Sound for .... fuch ! — naming the Gentlemen) 
refolving moftly to ftick to their Leaders, or Alloers, 
in the foregoing Eledtion, though intirely ignorant 
p^ticularly for whom, changed their Notes to Sound 
for the Eluo! and Sound for the Yellow ! — meaning 
thereby they were refolute Retainers to fuch dif^ 
ferent Parties as had diftinguilhed themfelves by 
Ribons of thofe feveral Colours : And thence ibe 
Blue and she Tellow became the adopted 1 erms for 
^ory and Wbig^ &c. Thole who efteem them- 
felves of the Better Sort prcfently learning them, as 
well Bs the polite and genteel calling of Sb-tjack! 
of the Filth and OfJ:scouring of the Kennel. 

As MOBBING and Outrage are indeed but 
fuch, of whichfoever Side the Queftion, and 
fcandalous alike, I impartially diQike, and would 
equally explode, the bad Humour in botb. But if 

b 2 .it 

* That which preceded the Mayoralty of Mr. Arthur 
Culme, which began in September 1737. 

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it be objcfted, that I ofteneft thus mention the Blue^ 
I anfwer that I do it nothing in Proportion to the 
different Outcries made. 

Nor let it be underftood as if I found fault with, 
or would ridicule, true Patriots — (as foch 
among us there are, who aim the Publick Peace, 
and to prefer Worthy Perfons, whofc Wifh and 
Endeavour are the Welfare of the Nation, and of 
this City particularly ;— I lay, I would not hare it 
thought that I in the leaft blame fuch) — tor their 
mod ftrenuous Oppofition, in due Seafon, to a 
boifterous Faftion. No. Nor can they, I think, 
be difconttnended, of cither Side, when M O B- 
BING is ply*d upon them to obftruft their lawful 
Proceedings, in Times of Choofing, for defending 
Themfelves and Rights, and repelling Force by 
then neceljary and jaftifiable Force, even the Eke 
Force — defenfively. My goodnatured Satire bites, 
or rather gently nibbles, fuch only as arc the firft 
Mobbcrs^ or Raifers and Encouragers of Mohs^ and 
fuch as perpetually belch out the difturbing Spirit of 
Mobbing^ and abufe Paffcngers or the Inhabitants, 
when they cannot feign the leaft 'Reafon for fo 
doing. The fame well-meaning Satire aims to 
fhame People, who would be difgufted to be 
reckoned not of Gentility and Good Fafliion, not 
only from joining perfonally with, but alfo fronr « 
abetting, or even tacitly and paifively counter 
nancing, fuch Abominations in the prophane Rout. 

Andrew Bkicz. 

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i» R E F A C E, 

iVbw in i77o# 

THUS concluded the Preface writ more 
than Thirty Years ago. Haply fuch as 
arc apt to " flecp, favc under a Jig or a 

•* Tale of , " may think it too proh'x. 

Yet, as 'tis elucidating, as well as apologetic, it 
liopes from the Generous fome Indulgence ; — « 
we knowing not well to abridge it confiderably^ 
but by abandoning the Performance to unjuft Sur- 
mifes. Favour may be the rather took'd for, in 
this Refpedb, from the ample Compenlation made 
by my withdrawing fome Hundreds of Lines, pof* 
libly many of the moft lufoious — [We mean not 
ehfiene] -- Lines, from the Poem itfelf, to reduce 
its Bulk, &c. However tedious the Prefatory 
Compartment be, fomething additional is ftill very 


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xiv. PREFACE. 

In Anfwer to an inquifitivc many : That the 
Poem was not forthwith, when compofed, pub- 
liftiM, was principally owing to my being attacked 
with various intervening Maladies, and other ve- 
ry pitiable and forbidding Incidents, which had 
fet it by, fcarcely at long length, remember'd. 
Thofe miferable Circumftances had quite over- 
whelmM me long ere I conceived an Idea of any 
Topographic Dictionary ; •— that arduous 
Undertaking, Labour inconceive^ble, and Attcn* 
tion without Rpfpite, which engrofs'd me whole! 
In the midft of which I was again fuddcnly flung 
at the very Thrclhold of Death's Door. 

I err*d in faying engrofs'd me whole: For all the 
fame while the Management of my News-paper^ 
sind all and every the Offices of a Matter Printer/ 
Corrcftor, ^c. fc?f. wbatfoevef^ lay upon fingle 
me. I could ill be faid ever at all to reft% fop, 
when any fhort Slumber Ihould have fomc little 
eas*d my over * laboured Thoughts, the Dic- 
tionary, that Sifyphian Toil ! ftill haunted me, 
as bad perhaps as a perpetual Bphialtes^ during near 
Five Years together, without Relaxation. 

Notwithftanding all —•( Be tributary Thanks, de- 
voutly offered in the Highefij and rendered here- 
ielozv^ * where fecondarily due ! ) — 1 have woh^^ 


* Namely to the worthy Mr. J. Patch, ftill living, 
aqd my fole furviving Helper. ! fero in caluni redeati ] 

Digitized by 


PRE FA C E: xv. 

ierfully! liv'd; nay, and liv'd to fee, and to re- 
joice in feeing, a very happy Alteration in Numbers 
of the Cotnmon People, The more Confiderate 
Sort growing afliam'd of fuch horrible Mobbings^ 
the Populace have grown alfp lefs frequently riot- 
ous, in natural very Confcquence. Deprived of 
the intoxicating Swillj heretofore lavifh'd in Pro- 
fufion on 'em, to fet them outragioufly a madding, 
in Qrder to fcrve no very laudable Purpofe, they 
have become in Fa£l much Ibberer, in Defpite of 
even any natural Propenfity to, or habitual Avidity 
of, the annual Draff. 

The Boys, whom I juftly fly led the J u n i o r 
Mob, and who bore fo brutal, fo fcandalous, a 
Part in the Mobbing Tranlaftions of the Day,* 
f and which latter were delineated, and painted 
iS-om the real very Life, in the Poem) have fince 
that Time totally defiftcd from fuch abominable;^ 
and dangerous Praftifes. Such their Reformation 
may poffibly have been owing, in a meafore, to 
better Tutorage, and ftrider Difcipline at School ; 
the Charity-Schools not excepted* 

I with Pleafure, moreover, fee Reformation and 
Improvement particularly in our Butthers ; thofe 
rugged Ckieftans of the MOB in their Old Days of 
Battle. They moftly prove at this Jundhirc very 
different Perfons from thofe defcribed as in former 
Times. Several of them now appear as polite in 
Convef&tion at leaft as other Tr^defmen, nor aro 


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xvi. P R E FAC B» 

they at Elcdions more turbulent •, on the contrary 
their Cquntenanoes appear far lefs truculent at them 
than Kccctofore they did. And, — Who could 
ever have expected. Thirty Three Years ago, 
that the Shambles would fo have produced a 
Rose I us (a) for the Stage! ~ 

I, for my own Part, (ever loth to offend) am 
become full eafy in the Publication at this fo diftant 
a Time from the fenning of the Poem ; in as much 
as there remains alive not fo much as One Indi- 
vidual of thofe who were, in any relpedt, glanced 
zt^ or fatirically alhided to, in the pompouQy-ludi- 
crous Touch-of^the*Time : — that blamcable Old 
^ime. Nor is there one fingle Perfon NOW who 
cap reafonably think bimfilf levelled at thereby. 
Such therefore as fhew themfclves touch'd will be 
Funners of themfclves. 

The Muse indeed ingenuoufly owns, fhe de- 
ligned a flight fling, or fo, at fome gr^athf offends 
ing FEW. Nor now at all repents flie. She 
wrong*d neither of them in the fmalleft Tittle, 
when flie defcribed their ridiculous ftrutting Mien, 
their fulfome fantaftic Behaviour, to fay no worfe, 
at all Tinges. And, alas ! did I but relate that 
vile, cruel, yet fottifla. Attempt upon my very 
Life^ (entirely innocent and faulUefs in Deed, 


(a) R$Jctus^ via. Our worthy good Friend Mr. Jou 
Fo o T. 

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P J?ȣ PACE. xvii. 

^ffet^y 9nd Thpugl>i:y) the Day, tl^e very mad 
..Day, Twclyp-montji af^cr the ^ra oi tbie !Poen?, 
.vij5. ^n .5^. 1738, vh/gn the Mayoralty of Mr. 
C u^ M B was j|Lift upon its E^^r^ion ; — by him- 
fdf the &id Rig^ WorflupfiJ, the then R-c-d-r, 
and divers cojle^ed AlJermen ; and thefe goaded 
on by T|ij^TUL|t^v^ SfscuKDUSf of Croak -Ifm: 
All jgulji of JF.wy; Subfcrviently , aided by a Pof* 
. fc of pyer-officious Cpnftables, ,and Mfik-Qffnftabks 
for ^ JDay : — I Ay> 4id I> as I mighti fully detail 
the yilc Affair, Readers might cry Amazement! 
at my uncommon Paflivity, and think me indeed 
PidgeoH'lroer'd^ in not having been adequately fe- 
nm'e upon them, 'fyit L pretty well expp^^d their 
headlong Doings, and fatisfa£ix>rily aveng'd myfelf, 
then forthwith, in my News-paper^ 

I particularly coo&fi to have t4>{x^d a. poeitc 
Fillip or two on fome qi the latterly mcntion'd 
inferior Great Onesy at whofe Head march' d^ or 
rather praneed^ my worthy fwcct Brother Geo. 
C-M-NGs: HE, who endeavoured, by Wheedle, 
to feducc my very Daughter, as H E thought and 
defigifdy to get her own Father murdered in the 
* Name of Law. In letting forth his coxcombic 
Air in the Ambulation to the Life, the Muse 
has aim'd at doing ieis than Juftice : As all who 
remember him will, I believe, amply tcftify, — 
N. B. He being higheft Bidder for the Short 
Staff, or C^ptmnfiip ^ call'd, procured ^c faid 
Truncheon to he ornamentally tipp'd at each End 
Wth Silver, and bis Name, &c. engravM diereon. 

c Bornj^ 

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xviii- PRE FA C k. . 

Born, bred, brought up, and having always 
dwelt, in this City, I have a fort of natural In- 
clination to love her, as my Mother, and wiffi 
finccrely for her Welfare. And having been well 
accepted, arid in the main handfomly treated, from 
my puerile Days upward, by the Generality even 
of the Better Sort, I joyfully congratulate my wor- 
thy Townfmen on the happy Refonnation of Bfe- 
haviour that hath in Pari already takert place, cfpc- 
cially at Eleftions, — though not as yet to ali Per* 
feaiofij and fuch as, we hope. Time will gradually 
bring aboutr 


uriiig aLFuuu 

And, oh ! may this my playlbme Satires 
JQCular.Rcbuke, greatly conduce thereto ! 

During my poor Remains of Life I fliall heartily 
wi(h a Continuance of Profperity, and growing 
Reputation, in all Refpeds, to this my beloved 
native E XE TER — (from which no Endeavours 
have prcvaird to draw me away) ^- till wjth 4II 
Other Places Ihe he, at laft, djlTolvecJ. 

Andrew BRiCf« 

P. S. 1 beg it m^ be rememberM all along, 
that all the Notes and Comments were written at the 
fame Time with the Poem itfelf, except a few ad- 
ditional recent ones, for DiQ:in6lion*$ iakfi doix^ in 
ft^Hcsj ^d included in Crotches [ ]|. 


Digitized byCaOOQlC 

• ■--"- — -gg 


HO W Lords dcfun<a grow Cberu^s. may 
To reaching Bards, — who Heav n explore,— 

the Strain ; 
Who ken, with licensed Eyes of glaring Hope, 
Beyond the Stars, through Fancy's Telefcope } 
PufF'd by fome feigned Urania to the Flight " 
Where Rapture bids the Things ofSenfe good- 
Be theirs with ttief cehary Fibs to treat 
How Heav'n refpeSis the Perfons ■*— of the 

Great ! 
Worthies of virtuous Indigeiice — ( For why 
May Virtue not fubfift With Permry ?) — 
Might nobly ftarving die, nor Half a Line 
Canonize Them, or at their Fate repine. 
To fee them ibar admits no iideling Glance 
Towards the Poet's Penfion or Advance ; 
Whilft Pimps to Pride by glav'ring Lays may 

Who praife the Dead -— to flatter the Alive. 

c 2 . Not 

Digitized by 



Not Us by fuch Abufe of Verfc BeKoves 
To compliment vain Mortals up to J o v b s j 
Though — (fram'd of an unfafhionable Mood)— 
We'd celebrate the fcorrfd, brave, tattcr'd. 

Adore true WoKTft ahd Righteousness in 

And bow to Merit in. an HofpitaL 

Be't humble ours, impartial our*, to fliew. 
In earthly Rhime, Deeds Vifiblfc bfeli!w. 
Nor far let our domeftk Genius roahi, 
Impuls'd to (a) chaunt but Vulgar F^^tB 

at Home: 
Yet fcorn> like (b) Bird in bcJrroW'd Plutxies, 

to grace 
With pilfer'd Diftion Thoughts of Cottiihon- 

And may, if well fucceeds our timely Aim, 
More ufeful prove the lovv, the kid Thcnie. 
We own it meah, -— yet not of Matter poorj 
Nor find the ricfeded Srit^iSt fuhg before, 

(4). Alluding to Horace's ^^^^Vlft^ia Gi^k 
Auji defer ere^ it celebrare donuftica fgfh* * 

(h) BiHi &c. According to.^te'FaHc; 


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^k, ♦ SS • ^ »•♦ ^ * il ♦ :5|k [ 

i-»;jr • ^^ • XX '•' XX ♦ 3Mt ♦^F'i 

T H fe 

M O B I A D ; 


Battle of the Voiced 


OF Mobs, and Mifchiefs which from 
Mob BIN 6 fpring^ 
And pell-mell Battle of the VoIce, 

I fing: 
Nor that alone ; ^-^ fbr oft' the Conteft kncMfS 
Vdce roughly feconded by Fifty BloWd^ 
And Knocks more folid whieh hard (t) Nod^ 

dks throw. 
And Gripes and Tugs above, and Kidb below; 


(c) Ikdilis.) Though NoddU properly figciifies but tfie 
Oui^ium^ or Hjiicler-P«rt of tile Head i yet is it anoflg 
%he Vi%ar ut'd for ibi jHM entire ; bufrufi^dtddfeedfome* 
wM cofieetnpcuottflyi like as a BM Hkiek ^ L^irHm^^ 
&c. --- the beft HelKb in tba WcWU far BoMtn^ Bmk»9 
and Cudgellers. 

Digitized by 


4 He MOBIAD, of, 

Whilil^ in Chfe Hugs, clandeftine Tooth and 

Unmanly, with difhoneft Wounds prevail * 
That Scratches, Bumps, Black-Eyes, and Plai-^ 

fters worn, 
Vefture befmear'd with trickled Blood, and 

Di^ointed Thumbs, and many a fefter'd Scar, 
Record the Fury of the baleful War. 

This War, — this Gallimawfry of Debate, 
Which I, — " Thing tonattempted yet ! '* — 

This War owns Fellows-AU, like Football 

And, — as if All Mankind were of one Claty,— i 
Piftiniftion quits, ^^ that Offal Mumpers boafi 
Themfelves fo good as Rulers of the Roafl i 
Makes Tides ftoop, and with exalting Fire 
Scrubs face a Knight, and Scoundrels fide a 

(d) 'Squire, 


(d) Country Efquifes and Gentlemen having of late [vin^ 
about thi Time of fmiting this fom\ verjr politely mingled « 
with the common Townfinen at Ele^ons for Mayor, as 
mdcb as for Membera of Farlument, a» Im9ttnify Freetmn. 

Digitized by 


Batik oj the Voice. 5 

Levels fix*c[ Merchants of Bale'd Staple Ware 
With Merchants vagrant in a Peddling Fair; 
Sets Ale-men, Alms-men, Aldermen, in Band^ 
Tight by each other, brotherly^ to ftand ; 
Makes Matters lift with Journeymen, and beats 
Shopkeepers to take on with Garrettcers 5 
Rebellious Sons, unnatural of Tongue, 
Brave theirs, perverfly, froih whofc Loins they 

Flim-finew'd Taylors with a bluft ring Rage 
Tarpawlings, bred in Tempefts, to engage; 
Saint-Methodifts communicate in Din,-^ 
Strange Coalition I — with the Dead in Sin j 
Smutched Colliers, armour'd in girt Horfehair 

With mealy Millers to exchange their lFags\ 
Mean Oftlers Big Innholders to oppoie ; 
Lean Weavers dare fat Clothiers to the Nofc / 
Spruce Valets cop? gruflF Qrooms with rugged 

And Learn'd Attorneys Clerks — radc 'Preq-p 

tice Boys 5 
Makes Throats divine, whence Anthems ibar 

, on high. 
Chime in with theirs who Rags or RahUts cry ; 


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-Makes Ifevdo; Slaves who frowfy (f) Urine 

Wkfe #;&»»» Wb» *aw Por/ •$ racy Wine 

^WlfPm^ ,9f 0m^PP f^}l prophanely ruOi 
On %sito»J, W^ ^f Wy Chancel brufh j 
Hod-b«5iR?iiSi ^4 ^yhQt^ifl|ple O*, to bawl 

AsM fh^ i*^*^ Vp-m^ of ^« Wall J 
Tinker his Powder black with Barber's white, 

A94 ^1994 QO )|u(K:kfr* imfSing, to uiJ^es 
Bn^$ <Jitfeerj!!« /Ijf T*3S»$ |Qtvi4 to vi<? 
With C^^Tf^s i9f Afljfis tpj- to m^kfi hki 
Tf#-n<ieiii»g, bf.»kc Ha'pc«ny-Pamph^eteer$ 
^^^ ho^ ^*l»rl ^j9ii^ jthw Printers Ears j 
Debtee's not dodge the Bum's rapacious Paw, 
If or from jftef«a 'fikadle iliach poor Beguts-^- 

Make? Juftifle, ^iKgifWl^d, .^W §editiou felj, 
yind Tbiff b^fc a ^mpapiop Copftable j 
Them mingles who gauge Barrels, --f or rid 

Command or School or Jail, y— of fcrw the 


(t) Viz. to the FulIIng-Milk, from the ftinking Abodfl* 
'•f^hc Fenale Colkaots of it, (f) Tavera Dfawcrs, 

Digitized by 


Batik of the Voice. y 

Dung-carriefs, Cooks, and who Catharticks 

vend^ [mend j 

Gems, Gewgaws, Grots j Bibles or Bellows 

Subfift by Cards Of Cocks^ Heifs, Hurts, or 
Hops; [Mops J 

Make Coffins^ Crowdi^ Malt,- Marriages, or 
Teach Birds or Witnefles i Eftates convey 
Or Rubbilh J fniugglc, or watch Ships at Kayi 
Cutters of Corks, Corns, Capers j Every Sort 
And Si^e of Folk j fuch greedy War (in (hort) 
As for Recruits craves Blind and Halt, nor fails 
To rake the Hofpitals and fkim the Jails. 

Yea, frail Inforcement Troops of Manhood 

From crazy Dotards and yet callow Lads 3 
Worn wrifled Crones, green Girls, and mellow 

Maids, [Aids ; 

Wives, Wh — , or Widows, ferve as fcolding 

Unbreecheft Urchins lifp their puny Might, 

And puling Chits fquall to affay the Fight. 

A f True- 

Digitized by 


$ 72^ MOBIJDi or, 

^ True-humourM Pow'r of righteous R i D ir 

c u L E, 
That jeers the idle Hurry of the Fool j 
Brands Villains whom Laws reach not, as in 

And fneers the Fop's Vainglory into Shame 5 
Religion's Hood from Hypocrites can fteal. 
And the falfe Patr'ot through his Mafk reveal 5 
Degrade bad Minifters in Seats fublime, 
And gibbet Judges, when unjuft, in Rhime : 
Thou, — who gav'ft Butler, in his 

To fwinge the Whims of each fanatic Clafs 5 
Butler, who cou'd with mimic Sportings 

Chide with a Smile, and withCorredion pleafe ; 
Thou, — - who Boilau taught'ft with 

facetious Taunt 
Priefts deadly Dudgeon for the (g) Desk to 

(Dudgeon, which made Rome's ghoftly 

Gluttons keep 
Fafts uninjoin'd, and Sluggards baulk a Sleep) 


(g) la his Poem call'd The Lctiiim, in Englifh a Z>s*. 

Digitized by 


-^Baftk of the Voice. g 

When in a Saint's calm Chappie it befell 
That (b) earthly Wrath with heav'nly Minds 

cou'd dwell, 
Whilft the proud Prelate curft Revenge ex- 

As he in folemn Prank the Chauntor blefs'd : 
Thocj, who Ihew'd'ft (i) Garth with 

Wit's poetic Mawl 
On his own jarring Faculty to fall. 
And frump fage Warwick-Lane's traniport-- 

ing Feud, [Blood, 

Confeffing (k) Poean*s Sons the Sons of 
That with unlicensed Ufe of mortal Skill, 
Whilft fcap*d the Stick, they'd one another 


Kill without Phyfick, and, furprifing ! fee 

Death-Pangs with Pleaflire, — though without 
a Fee : 

A 2 Thou, 

(h) Anfwe^ng to Virgil's -Tantani anims cakfiihus 

(1) Viz. in his Poem call'd The Dispensary. 

C^JPoBAN, the Name of ApoJ^^, properly as tb« 
God or Fathcy of Phyficians, 

Digitized by 


10 The MOB IAD I cr, 

Thou, Concord's Goddefs! Thou moft 

ufeful Muse! 
Mc kindly to explode vile FACTION ufe. 
Whom friendly Piques, benevolent in Ire, 

To fcofFdown fhrcwd, yet^mpty, Scjuables 

A Lancet-Pen, fet fweetly keen, prepare 
For my Attempt, by thy condudting Care, 
The Boil to ope with fuch chirurgiq Art> 
Jts Point may tickle with a wholefome Smart I 

What might deipair the Pulpit, Bar, and 
Stage, [Rage, 

E'er to atchieve, though (hou'd combine their 
May 'ft Thou, by-ftanding, from the abler Prefs 
Accompliih with a Wonder of Succefs ! '^ 
Since Sermons fstil, let a Deferiptive Flout, 
Held a refleding Mirrour, bring about ; 
With Raillery cut vicious Follies down, 
And force to Laughter, to reform, the Town ! 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. ij 

^Twas thus with Joke to honeft (I) Vulcan 
-To reconcile an houfliold Brawl in Heav'n ; 
Whofe feafon'd Check, divine Buffoon ! — be- 
guil'd [mild. 

J o V E *s Wrath, and turned ev'n Vixen Juno 
He limp'd to fill, with Mein of comic Sort, 
The Peace-confirming M a^er of the Court. 
Each boon Celeflial quaff *d, in jovial Round,- 
His brimful Bowl, with nappy Nedar crown i 
And Party Heats in focial Pledgings drown* 



Help me rebuke, thus, our Inteftine Fight 

By painting it ridiculous to Sight : 

' Yet, though be drawn in ftrong Grqtefque tho 

Be all defign'd and coloured from the Life, 
Good-natur'd the Intention, though fevere 
Sometimes our Verbal Pidurings appear. 
Who, — ludicrous of Indignation, — provQ 
Joqofe in Cenfure, and inveigh in L«oye| 


(1) Vulcan.) See Hom. lUad^ Book i. alt tiie Coih 

_ Digitized by 


12 ^e MOB IAD I or. 

And, fcattVing Blanie 5mi4 the bUmcful 

Drub but with Drollery and fcourge in Song» 

Yet firft it*s fitting we in Grief rehcarfe 
Our wretched Change )n fpme more ferious 

Led blind from (m) Wifdom's peaceful Paths 

aftray, ' 
And pitch'd in Folly's deep difturbed Way, 
Or headlong ruflb'd from flighted Welfare's 

To plunge and flounder in a rueful Plight. 

f In A L B I o n's Wefl: erjl throve a Town 
(ere more 
There Mobs prevaiVd than (n) Monks 

fo heretofore) 
On' which fair (o) Isca fervile waits, whofe 

Nature to load with Dainties own'd Delight, 


(m) Alluding to WiJdonCi tfays arc Ways of Pkafant-^ 
fi0f$^ and all her Pajbs art Peact* 

(n) 'Exiter was oncefo over-run with Monaftcnes, 
and the Vermin therein fed, that it obtain*d the Nickname 

(o) IscA, or I/c, the River, now pponounced Sx^^ 

Digitized by 


^dttle of the Voice, 13 

And by her (p) Works fence'd from Annoys 
to Health, 

Whilfl: with Home Plenty vy*d Imported 

For did its (q) Empory in Gain furpafs. 

Though now fob we the Boaft what Com- 
merce^ was ! 

There ///^ indulgent Peace (as Antients tell) 

And gay GooD*Nf:iOHBouRHooD> fweet 

Couple ! dwell. 
Nature to pamper yet abides j but, ah ! 
Did friendly Love, off hifs'd, with Trade 

In ftead, Spleen, Difcord, and Contention, have 

Flung murder'd Peace in an opprobrious 

Laid infamous Infcriptions on her Tomb, 
And voted Death eternal as her Doom. 


(p) Her Works,) The City being naturally cncbmjftf- 
fed with Hills, which help to break the Force of injurious 
Winds, &c. 

(q) Empory.) The Woollen Manufafture atid Trade 
in former happy Days exceedingly flourifli'd here in every 
Branch of it. 

Digitized by 


14 "the MOBIADyor, 

That Goodwill Angels pfalm'd from Heavn 

of Yore 
Is own d our Duty and true Blifs no more. 
Sweet Moderation's deeni'd a fneaking Sin, 
A treacherous Gate to let Deftrudion in ; 
Whilft headftrong Paffion and a rampant Zeal 
For ftormy Nonfenfe aggrandize our Weal ! 

Hence ragged Penury hath feiz'd the Place, 

And Defolation much deform'd its Face. 

(r) Houfes, fliut up, with difmal Fronts 


Unhop'd a Tenant of a patched Repair. 

Yea fome, by Rats themfelves abandoned, own, 

Their tptt'ring Symptoms, and for Ruin groan ^ 

Or fain, as if by the difgraceful Doom 

Denounced in Scripture, Hills of Dung become, 

Too like our (s) Rock-Lane\ moft upbraiding 


Where once were Charitable Manfions found, 

On which lo ! Mountains of curfl: Rubbifli rife. 

To draw, like Babel, Vengeance from the 



{r) [Such nalfy was the Cafe at the Ttme rtferr*d to^ 
(in 1737 &r 1738.) when the Poem was moflly wrote*} 

(s) I7he Complaint is now taken offJ] 

Digitized by 


Battle cf the Voice ^ 15 

Hence Induftry, which^ by a fkilful Handi^ 
Adorns, and fortifies with Wealtli, a Land, 
Baulk'd and defpis'd, fcarce lives j or feems no 

Than a mad Induftry here to be poor. 
Hence we to Swarms of cumbrous Idlers owe. 
Self-fliaming Sighs, and Looks of guilty Woe, 
Who might for worthy Bread with honeft Joy 
Their gainful Hands in profper*d Arts imploy. 
But that, with.epidemic Itch o'er-run ^ 

For Mobbing, they the Means of thriving fhun, 
And vy in Labour to be mod undone. ^ 

Be yet confefs'd the Joy (nor let our Foes 
Couch'd here a knavifli Irony fiJppofe) 
That with our abjedt Dregs of Folk alone 
Such beggVing Fury holds a lawlefs Throne I 
Joy that no Ruler's Bent permits to fear 
(t) A roaring Lion or a ranging Bear ! 

B No 

(t) Roaring Lim$ &€. Sea Prov. xxviii. x j* 

Digitized by 


i6 fbe MOBIjiDi or, 

No Turbulence of Soul can recommend 
One who fhould to confervc the Calm afcend ! 
Nor Candor's deemed, but by the Rafcal Race, 
A Vice difqualifying for a Place ! 
No : Men of Poft the Way of Peace purfue,' 
Though rais'd in Uproar by a fadious Crew ! 

, But hourly we in Vulgar Converfe find 
A froward Jargon harrows up the Mind, . 
One, ceafelefs, dull, coarfe Tintamar of Prates, 
Fatiguing Senfe, a manly Hearing grates. 
Thence due Complacence and humane Deport 
- Excluded are, or but receiv d for Sport. 

Contention which, when Night's illumined 

Was in twelve full re-borrow'd Luftres feea. 

Here fought difturbing Reign by Law a Day, 

Now through the Year affedts diforder'd Sway, 

More vile, more horrid, ihocks with frefh 

Alarms, -. 


And, reftlefs, keeps her Standing Troops to 


Digitized by 


[done ! 
Well haft thou, good and faithful Servant, 

Bdttle of the Voice. \y 

In this frail Age oi Ahjlinence ! when die 
"The Great — quick as the Little brujh away^ 
And fome One of our (u) Guardians Twice a 

Mounts on the Bleffings of their feafted Poor ! 
That fcarce a Mgnth the Sky*s bright Burghers 

To welcome fome juft Steward to their Blifs, 
And hear th' Approbat from tV Empyrean 



And " Bleffed, comes for Heaven (hall reim- 

' '^"'^^' [Purfe!" , 

" With Gain, the Lendings of thy empty 'd 

Elections oh Elections crowd fo faft, 

A new begins ere a preceeding's paft. 

B 2 Such 

(u) Guardians.) The Corporation of Guardians of the 
Poor, Forty in Number' When one of the Number dies> 
another is always to be elefted in his flead ; which Eledion 
^ '^[vjas at the Time herefatiriz^d']— carry'd on, oftentimeSji 
with more Noife and Party Fury than in fome Places per- 
liaps that of Reprefentatives m Parliament. 

Digitized by VjOOQIC 

i8 '^be MOBIJDi or. 

Such chaunt we not, nor which in Senate 


To fit the Town's (xj Twin Reprefentativcs : 

Sing we but what, in Annual Courfe, came on 

The Day of Old devoted to the (y) Moo n. 

When Sol Two Se'enights hac} qbliquel 

his Chair r^ I 

[Career, > 

WheeVd fjnce from (^) Six to Six he made j 
With fainter Beams in our coor4 Hemiiphere: J 
About that Tide when Geefe, in Panniers fcjuat, 
Turn up alluring Shows of copious Fat ; , 
That Day {a) when firft, enwrapped in flabby 

^^'' [Oifter- Drags, 

Our (A J SjARCRoss Mcr-M^ids caft their 


(x) Two Reprefentativcs for this City in Parliament. 

(f) Moony i. e. Monday ^ fo ca}lM from our Heathen Saxr 
pn Anceftprs on that Day worfliipping the Moon. 

. {%) Six to Six) yiz, about ^ Fortnight fince Sept. 1 1 jCXS. 

(a) That Day) viz. the Monday before Michaelmas-Day, 

(b) The fame Day on which we cjioofe our Mayor, the 
Oifter- Women of gtarcroft, &c. are allowed to begin drag* 
ging for Oiftcrs, 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 19 

Whofe fiihy Ends, hid in their modeft Boats^ 
Need not like Trowfers form their Petticoats: 
That Year when Pilchards (c) to Our Betters 

Too plenteous to be fajhionably good, 
With whom goes down no cbefiply^vulgar Meat^ 
But (learnM with artful Elegance to cat) 
Force'd Viands praife, of recommending Coft, 
When out of Kind, as out of Seafon, moft : 
Year fince Diftillers wail'd the mulded Sin 
Which foothM th^ Torture of the Guts with 


Save whe» Two Gallons, fold exempt of Awe, 
From crimelefs Cogues, as 'twere made drunk 

^y^"^- [Spell 

That Year when {d) Crux (as by Magician's 

Ghofts dragged arife> but flip again to Hell) 


(c) Scarce ever within Memory were Pilchards fo plen- 
tiful and cheap in thefe Parti as in this Year I737»— ^ Some 
of the Gentry efteem'd them a Nuifance. 

(d) Trmtlt Crcfs^ ££)> ^ certain half-mad half*foo! 


Digitized by 


20 The M OBI AD ^ or. 

Slunk from his ManJion']dA\ with four Regret, 
And chokjor onc€ to pay the charging Debt ; 
But> fick of naufeous Creditors, agen 
For Cure reclaim'd the Dun-defying Den, 
That Year when in the fair Six-Gated Clofe 

To GOD devoted, (though there {e) Mam- 1 

^d, (though there (^) Mam- 

As (/) Limes hadfaiPd, young thriving Elms J 

Yet ere arrives the critic Day, whereon 
The FiQHT Decisive muft be loft or won, 


'Squire, of a very good Eftate, who never caring to pay any- 
body, ly'd perpetually in Jail : But at this Jundurc fearing 
the Aft for the Relief ot Infolvent Prifoners for Debt would 
afFedl his Lands and Tenements, he paid the Debt he was 
charg'd in Cuftody for, and came out. Though he prefently 
took care to return back to his faid beloved Habitation. 1$ 
not fuch an one a proper Objedi for Satire ? 

(e) The Church-yard, where our Merchants, &c. &c. 
aflemble to talk of Trade and Bufmefs, &c. 

(f) Some Years after the prodigious great Storm in 
1703 in rodm of die very large Elms which had been torn 
up by the Roots, were Lime-Trees orderly planted ; but 
not thriving, indeed gradually dying, EI^« uere, as at pre** 
font, planted their SucceiTors, and flourilh well. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice, 21 

Alehoufe Alarms, Street Camps, and Kennel 

Prelude th* Heroi-Comi-Tragi-Farce, 

Not brooking well wifh'd Time's too tardy 
^ . Flight, 
0*er Pipe and Quart, many a lingering Night, 

With Fronts of Council, in important State, 

Huge as of Germany th* Electors mate. 

Scarce paramount Receivers of Excife 

Heap Royal Pelf in more majeftic Guife. 

Scarce with a Swell of more judicious Look 

Foremen of Juries kifs the Sacred Book. 

Scarce Parifh- Warden, at an Eafter Feaft, 

Nods Bigger, toafted by th' obliging Prieft. 

The Baptift Saint fcarce at Stich-^Hatt may fee 

More grand the- Chiefs of Cabbage-Company. 

Scarce a bluff Skipper, in his Realm of Wood, 

Top'd up a petty Godhead of the Flood, 

iWith kembo*d Arm, full Paunch, and bully 

Face, ^ Grace. 

O'er Punch-bowl fmoaks with more elated 

- - Scarce 

Digitized by 


22 ^ MOBIADi or^ 

Scarce ftroUing Hero in Stage<Buikinaxlreft> 
Plum*d Helmet, ermin'd Robe, and gcmmy 

Vcft, . 
Between the Ads a nughder Afped wears, 
Whilft He upon the Candle-fnufFer fwears. 
Nay, an Ale-Draper fcarce, — (who through 

*'^""8 [Dung. 

Once Barrels fcour'd of Dregs, fwept Stalls of 

But now by Sots fo (g) danid enrkVdlo d?ck 

With Golden Chain his Heirefs Daughter's 

N"") [Po„. 

At Door, in cufliionM Chair,, with Grander 

Extends his Cloath-Shoe Signal of the Gout. 

Talk in Alliance future Deeds difplays. 
And fcarce a Brag but which its Thouiand flays; 
Or (where in common Room, opposed in Will, 
Men, jumbled dofe. Mugs independent fwill) 


(t) Danfd is now by many us'd as die Superlative 
Degree, as fignifying very much^ My Meaning is, enridi'd 
by diihoneft Means i what is too common. 

Digitized by 


Bmh of the Fence. 1^3 

At Variance to a prefent Charge invites^ 
And bickering Boafts prove Overtures of Fights 3 
Loquacious Tongues in pelliAell Clutter run. 
As Breathings ere the Battle Main's begun. 

Ale-houfes diftant vent their Clafh fo ilrong, 
As if did all to one joined Rout belong : 
Xnd yet diftinguiih we from vtrhence and whom 
Th' emphatic Twangs of boift Vous Babble come. 

So, on th* Inauguration of a King, 

Whfen greater Six of our great Ten Bells ring, 

Beyond the reft we note, each mighty Round, 

The Cadence from huge (A)Grajjdison 

, Pistol the Second flafhing Bounce lets off. 
More furly rendered by a mingled/Cough. 
CuLTER (/) (whom ShzKs'of liquid Bets tepicc) 
Sputtc;rs his dire. Ferocity of Voice. 


(i) Grandifon^ from the Bifhop of that I^ame who gave 
k, is the Name of the largeft of Qur Bells in PeaU 
0) Ben. Comijb^ the Guttler, 

Digitized by 


24 Hi MOBIADi cr^ 

Testy, whofe Clamour foarls^ with Looks 


Holds forth as if he hallow'd for the Blue ; 
Whilft (i) GLA8SMAN9 tamelefs by a Thou* 

fand Bangs, 
As bold a Clangour for the Telltm twangs, 
Throughstitch (/) the faucy, who, each 

Quart, outlies 

All * Philomaths who ere mif-read the Skies, 
And irritates corre<3:ing Fifts and Feet, 
Is heard to bellow through a Mile. of Street. 
Castor (tn)^ with creaking Words, half 
fnuffled, brays 

Odious as, wrangling, he at Cribbage plays : 
Ne'er did a hampered Hog whine fo abhorr'd. 
Nor Gelder's Clarion naftier Shriek afibrd. 


(k) Ingram (the firft of the Family) the Glazier. 

(I) Tbroughjlitch.) This Spark had his CharaAer drawn 
long before tliis Time as — 'A pert, noify, empty, prag- 
matical, prefuming, impudent, contemptible^ aboBiinable, 
Coxcomb, Lyar, &c. &a 

• Philomaths.) • Almanack-makers; 

(m) B^nghf^m, the Hatter, . 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 25 

SwiLGALLON («), kvifli of moFC Roar by half 
Than Apewell mimicking Owl, Afs, and Calf, 
Blafts his big Organs in a deeper Key i 

Than Horns, and Hounds, and Bumpkins, I 


raife, when they 
With joint Cry open'd fcare the chaced Prey 

Morn, Even, Noon, and iiitervening Hours, 

Infulting Terrors now befiege our Doors. 

Where'er ye turn, reproachful Flings jre meet. 

And lubberly Affronts oppofe your Feet. 

A currifh Growl, and a deep maftive Bark, 

Bays you in Light, and follows in the Park : 

(0) H-a-a-a-h \ with Barbarity of Look gnarrs 

Like Butcher's D6g o*er a defended Bone, 

Plain in the Mufcles of whofe ruffian Face 

The Wifh of bloody Maffacre ye trace : 

C 2 Concerters 

(n) SwilgalUn. Johu St-v-n!^, 

(0) H-a-a'ah /) They pronounce this ugly fpitcful Hab 
with a rugged, harlh, grating fort of a Quaver, much 
I^ngthen'd, like the arringor gnarring Growl of a great Dog. 

Digitized by 


26 tbc MOBIADi or, 

Concerters run to back the odious Cry> 

And^ grinning, fnarl a furly Symphony. 

Next flock grotefcjue around a fauntVing Crew> 

And pcrfecute you with Sound for tpe Blue! 

Or fcarcc lefs horribly your Padence wound 

With like Annoyance, For the Tellowfofind! 

Confused you compafs, leap with daihing Pace, 

And ydp foul Jeers with impudent Grimace ; 

With flourifh'd Felts, perhaps fkin-deep, aflail 

Your Face, and rankling leave a ghaftly Ail. 

Though paflive ye mute expedite your Way, 

Outrage obfcene will after you inveigh, 

N^y, thankful be if ye fp clean evade. 

Nor more material PeftVings cannonade. 

When no (lain Cat, Clout, Shoe, nor Filth 

Salute yourfelves the Favorites of Chance j 

Bleft if you flip their fcarifying Claws, 

Or fcape expe^Sorated Shot from Jaws. 

Sing Laud in Rapture, if unkickM your Shin, 

Though fpattcr'd, ftinking, drips entire of Skin. 


Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 27 

View with Delight your footed Hat compound 

For Coat's not fweeping, with You dragged, 
the Ground. 

Nay, if o'ercaft, for Miracle record j. , , ^ 

That Ye arife nor bruis'd, ilamp*d, punch'd nor 

And hymn Te Deum, as for Life's Return, 

If a fore-grip'd, not ftrangled. Throat ye mourn. 

What though fomc Topping Vulgar may 

In Perfon to aflaflinate your Ear, 

Too often they fuborn th* Inferior Mob 

With vaiTal Rage you of your Peace to rob : 

With hir'd Sedition they direft the Broil, 

And pay in Drink the Wages of the Toil. 

So thofe whom Maftives combating delight. 
To ftimulate them to the fangy Fight, 
Stroke firft their harc|y Loins, then to purfue 
With fervile Barkings cry AUoo! Alloo! pp 
And, when they have fuftain'd the prompted 
Spit in their Mouths the filthy liquid Pay. 

End ofthtfirji Cdnto. 

Digitized by 


28 rbe MOBIAD'y &r. 



T length that (a) Monday which the 
Daypreceeds, ^^^^^^ 

When prais*d the brave (^) Arch-Angers dough- 
Heav'n's Captain, by whofe Loyal Army fell 
The Rebel Legions, now the Thralls of Hell j 
While poor and thoughtful Tenants fore lament 
The fad Defers of the laft Quarter's Rent, 
And mortgage Gown, Sheet, Rug, and Difh, 

to blefs 
Bed, Crock, and ufeful Pitcher, from Diflxefs j 
That joyous Monday, dawping in the Skies, 
Awakes pert Gladnefs in th' Elecflors Eyes. 


(a) Monday, viz. the Monday before the Feaft of St. 
Michael^ appointed the Da^y for the Choice of a new Mayor. 

(h) Arch- Angel. St. Michael. Sec the Service for 
the Day, &c. &c. 

Digitized by 


. Battk of the Foice. 29 

Whip ! the moft forward bolt unbuttoned out. 
And, kenning, throw their partial Looks about j 
Then, joining, to Difcourfe o*er canvafs'd owe 
Prognofticks how the Day's Affair will go : 
And where the Doors firft ope for Tipple's Sale, 
Time's Forelock feizing, /ie?/^ courageous Ale. 

Now Kitchen-Maids, knock'd up by Cbu^ 
rers(c)^ flretch 

Unready Limbs, and Sighs of Envy fetch. 

The Stage-Coach iPorter, malapert of Tone, 

Swears Jehu, long-findb ready, will be gone: 

The up-fcar^d Paflenger brief Stay implores; 

And yet an Hour the drunken Jolter fnores. 

With owly Eyes the ftrolling Seekers ik\i\^^ 

And hopeful peer at Stall, Porch, Door, and 

The clean Difchargers, with rince'd Cools be- 
Stoln back — as if alham'd of ^^ finding Gold. 


(c) Chureri) So ia Enitir «re called thofe p Lmdw 

Digitized by 


30 The MQBJADi cr. 

See ! chafte Aurora grows with Blufhies red 
Efpying Phoebus fprung from TEXHYsVBed, 
Or flatting Cats from am'rous Scratchings come. 
Or naughty Trcntices flunk drawfy home. 
The Drummer, on high (d) Rugemont*s 

crumbling Mound^ 
Beats ftrong the bold Rcvelle's roufing Sound* 
Whiftling to River waggles Groom on Steed 5 
And Milkmaids jocund to Teat-tugging Ipeed. 
The Scavenger drags on his rumbling Carr ; 
And Gentry's led to guard the Chief of War. 

The Sixth Hour Bell with venerable KnoH 
Bids Wakers mind -^ or Body or the Soul : 
This World's Folk up, and wordly Work 

• attend j 
Andt'other's to celeftial Bus'nefs bend. 


(d) The Hill on which our CaiUe ftands, and ii\ which 
the Regiments, at Times, quartered in this City keep Guard, 
is called Rugemont, from the Rednefs of the Earth. [I 
think, beating the ^eUt^ wc knaw^uot Why^ has :of latttr 
Years been difus'd.J 

Digitized by 


Bettk of the Voice, 31 

Tilers Ahd Mafonr by their Brifknefs (how. 
They idly to no whole Day's Labour go. 
Taylors^ not francUsd^ with a loitering Gait, 
Till Bell rings (^) qtiick^ before King's -Alley 

It rings : They fhrugging budge a lazy Pace, 
And o^er the Shoulder turn a grudging Face. 
It rings : The £untly few who feel the Mood, 
And Liberty, and Ldfure^ to be good^ 
With Lips in Form to Duty fet, and Eye 
Fraught with Religion's Glance, to (f) Mattins 

Handmaids behold, who have, in ColdoiTHy^ 
The pious Orders proxywife to pray^ 
Whofe Ladies indifpos'd,— by Sloth,— a-bed. 
Depute 'em to a£t heav'nly in their ftead, 

D On 

(i) At Six o'Qock a Bdl knoUs, or tolls, for Prajm, 
at the Cadiedral ; then a Bell rings quick to give Notice 
diat Prayers are about to begin. [In King's AUey, at the 
Time of writing this Poem, liv'd 3 or 4 Maftcr Taylors of 
principal Bufinefi. j 

Cf) Matdns. MoningFtey^r. 

Digitized by 


3a 1^ MOBJADyor^ 

Oa Pattifls trip,— with lanAimonious Charms^ 

Starched (g) clainly neat, with Pray'r-books 

under Artns. ^ . 


YoUng /^/ Choirifters, from Neft rcludlaiir 

To Worfhip truant, forced Devotion yawn. 

Bui VqiGes voluntier make fliift to faife. 

By Organs though unaided, worthier Praife^ 

Lefs artijBcial Praife, while in the Soul 

Heav'n may hear Meloiy (i)j tho* Voices growl. 

The (^) Pile; of venerable Grandeur round "^ 

Efnits the folemn Tune : Th' enclo£ed 
(/) Ground 

Aoew fecros. hallow'd by the J&cred Sound.. ^ 

But whence that Noifc prophaiie ? Whence 

Which improufly' quells the Diti devout ? '• ' 

-'-^ ' The 

Ti) Cleonlymthi. Like IioKAi^Hftmpii)^nmH(Xiiisi: 
""{h) Choflfieri, /t%e young Singing Bbjii. '.. 

"(i)' Mdody.y Ef)h/v. I9. Making Melodf in your tiecfrti^ 

ioGtB. ' •■ ^- •'• ^ - , r';;- 

{k) Pile, &c. St. Peter's Cathedral Church. '' 

(/) Enchfid Ground. &•• Petcr^^ofc. • ' - -■ 

Digitized by 


Battle ^ the Voice. . jj 

(m) The Junior Mob fonorous uflier in 

Their Claim of Pelting, and lewd Rites begin, 

Whofe bufy Sholcs ranfack'd the Common- 

And rummag'd Dungheaps, for a batt ring Store. 

Hog might in vain feek with fagacious Snojut 

Apples worm-eaten or corrupt to rout. - 

Da Did 

(w) 7««iV MohJl The Boys. Our true-born Citizens 
are ( Numbers of *em) train'd up to MohVmg from their 
Cradles. To' the Praife of fuch a polifli'd People as we are, 
our welUbred Infantry are permitted to fling Turneps^ 
Potatoes, Pieces of Cabbage-fblks, &c. at the poor Coun«* 
trymen whole Bufinefs brings them into City this unlucky 
Morning : At whofe Approach the young Mifchiefs, run*!* 
ning to meet *em, fet up a Cry of A Broih$r ! A Brother t 
A Brother ! ai>d f^U a battering of them immediately. If 
one offer to rebuke them, (as I once prefumM to do, and 
had like thereby to have brought not only them, hut fome 
Loggerheads of the Shops, upon my own Back) they daringly 
reply'd, 'T/x lawUfs Day I 'Tis kmkfs Day f And fo in- 
deed might it be imagin'd, while fuch barbarous Outrages 
(as feveral others at different Times, fuch as the Dafliing 
up the Kennel- Water on PafTengers, which they call Strat- 
ting, &c.) are not only tolerated in £fFe£it, but laugh'd at, 
and thereby encourag'd. With Indignation I remember a 
poor Mah had one of his Eyes thus actually oh the Spot 
ftruck out by one Butler^ who afterwards attempted witli 
others to fire the Deanry-Houfe, &c. So they grow up 
to Villainy by Degrees, — N^o r^ente fit turpijfmus. 

Digitized by 



Did pregnant Sows for out-caft Onions long. 
The grunting Mothers, fick> might caft their 

Each plundered Gutter void of Turnip rillS| 
Nor it a C^rot, or Potatoe, fills. 
For diefe'ere Hesperus, with brilliant Light, 
Led ilowly pji the laft impatient Night, 
TJie Young Iniquities had fpuddling found} 
Arms from aloof by miffive Force to wouncj* 
Parfnips ^n4 Cabbage-ftalks, to handy Size 
Cut up, glad with augniented Store their Eyes, 
The Ammunition fwells each Pocket ftrout. 
And each Hand bears ^e Surpluf^ge about. 
Till Clown, mifled by fome malicious Stgr, 
Yare by the Strippling Poflfe kenned afar. 
And met beyond the mid-ws^ Diftance, gro^s 
Th' afbnied Handfel of their volant ^lows. , 
jSharp Claipour fjropi their Throats in Concert 

And ev'ry Hand a Root, icarce erring, flings. 


Digitized by 


Battk oj the Voice. 3^ 

A Brother I Brother ! . they exulting cry j 

And ShowVs, full Tcmpeft, quick repeated, iiy. 

Repeated ? Yea, at a contiguous Rate 

The Flingings whiftle an inceflant -Threat. 

Not half fo frequettt noifomc Ware is known 

On Peijur'd Heads thro' Penance Loophole 
fhi-own J 

Ev'n though fuch vile detefted Heads pertain 

To the paid I^afcds of th' Informing Train^ 

Lpfs nijmerous a white long Winter fpics 

From glowing Hands hard-kneaded Snowballs 

rife, r^ 


And Truncheons^ hurl'd to fplemnisje the 

Divine, maul (n) Cocks Icfs fwift with 

j;ijurd'|:ous Mirtji. 


(n) (kcks.'] To the Credit of Parents, Maflers, Confia^ 
Ues, and otMr Overfeers, ought it to be over and over 
mention'd, 'till the ideteftable Nufance ceafes, that the very 
wicked Diverfion [Hsrrihk ! that the Human Nature can 
ever be diverUd with Inhumanity] of Throwing at Cocks, 
vifhich other wheres, I think, is thus moft barbaroufly prac-* 
tifed but on Shrove->Tuefdays, not only continues here the 
whole Chriftmas holy Days, but commences fome Wepks 
before them. It's obfervable too that fome of thofe who are 
tbe gceateii Sticklers for wl}at they pall cekhratb^ the folenm 


Digitized by 


36 "the MOBIADyor, 

As be difcovers, ftaggcr'd and aghaft. 

On Him. alone the frolick Mifchief caft. 

Bleak Horror thrills his Veins, a qualmy Damp 

In his chiird Bofom quails the vital Lamp : 

The ruddy Brown his burnt Complexion fails, 

And Palenefs o'er its freckled Flufli prevails. 

His Vilder'd Thought * Whence his Offence ' 

What Rage this Infantry of Belidl fires ? 

Why is, by the Adult, the Youngfter Crowd, 

He ponders, thus to \p) gallow Folk allowed ? 

To gallow ? Yea to gaul, perchance to lay 

Folk fprawling, or by worfe Mifchangc to flay? 


Feftival, too much countenance this horrible Pollution of it. 
For Shame, ye Parents ! For Shame, ye School-mafters. 
And why fliould I not fay. For Shame, ye Magiftrates, &c. ? 
Jt's recorded of Diegtnn^ the Cynick, that feeing a Boy 
commit a Fault, be ran at his Mafter, and ftriking him faid, 
Wbirefan are yoftr Scholars not bitter taught ? 

(a) Gall&w Folk.'] This being ftiU -^[vi». at the Time 
/poke ^/}-r- a Dexi<mft)ire Word, though from Sh AK esp e ar 
it feems to have formerly been generally En^Jh% implying^ 
to fright, fcarc, or aftonifli, is, 1 hope with Propriety 
enough put into the Mouth ofaPevonfhire Ploiighniaa» &c. 
We fcem to continue the Ufe of the Word in that oiGal^ 
lews^ or Gallow^Trte^ fignifjring the Terrifying Trc^ or 
Tree of Terror. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 37 

Were Bacon Sows in Years too ftrickcn found? 
Did Pig yield up the Ghoft without a Wound ? 
Or grow by Art in fopy Wrapper fair? 
Were Eggs fold addle, or confounded dear? 
Did Chanticleer^ of Threefcore Broods the Sire, 
A cruel Length of Drop by Drop expire. 
Then, lopp'd of Spurs, and circumcis'd of 

Comb, X r 5 

[room ? 

-Look beauteous in young Fowl of Turkey's 

Had breeding Geefe, fucceffive Ten Years (horn. 

Their Teeth-proof Hides, to paft for youthy, 

Was Butter ftamp'd to hide Defeft of Weight ? 

Would Doll a ftroaking, or a' churning, fnite? 

Such Guilt vf^^Dame'szxiA DolN^ and but infers 

They could out- wit o'erweening (p) Citiners^ 


Ip) Giimrs.] So, alias fometimes Ziiimrs^ many of our 
neighbourmg Country People name us Citizens ; whom they 
iare proud to out tvtt^ that is in pisun EngUJh to cbiat^ in a 
Bargain; It's tut Ktde to be doubted Pigs and Poultry which 
died a tmtural or etcidtntal Death have been fold to us; IVe 
been under the Rofc inform'd by a Farmer's Wife, it's com- 
••*'.* ' mon 

Digitized by 


j8 ^be MOBIADi or^ 

To Meajier^s Scord ought to be chalk'd the Sin 
Of Faggots fmall, and fappy green, led in: 
Him, him alone, (hou*d Maledidion fmite. 
When, Jlifling pufF'd, thpy finoulder, loth to 

Who, teaz'd for Rent, permits their faulty Mirth 
Whilft, finging, they with Froafh befpawl the 


BiSlme^ Dolly and Medfier^ (inning, — let pertain 

To tbem to expiate with fuited Pdn ; 

But, for bimfelf, he ruminates, and through 

Finds Confcience clear of Crime, tho' whelm'd 
by Woe. 

Then why fhou*d Innocence unholpen wail^ 

And wicked Pranks againft the Juft preva^ ? 

He litde learns from the licentious Bray» 

Commixt with Brother! LawU/s, lawkfi Di^f 


mon to wrap up Pigs in fopjr Cloths^ to make their Skins 
caft white* . Some of die other Tricks I have myfelf known 
pradtifed ; pariipukriy a very fuperannuated Cocky managed 
as in the Text, fold for a young Turkey. 

Digitized by 


> Battle of the Voice* 39 

Around the fportive fierce Tormentors crowd. 
Each to excel in Pranks mifchievous proud. 
He wiftly turns for Help Imploring View, 
Cits rural born, made Denizens,^ on You ! 
But, fleering pitilefs, ye rather chear 
The Onfet, and the cruel Paftime (hare. 
XJngracious^ en)il-minded Town ! Had Thrace 
' Forfucb a (q) Poneropolis a Place? 
Might he revolve in anguifh^d Heart, had he 
Been fchool'd in Letters and Greek Hiftory. 

With wretched Baulk he*d troWy Attacks 
Might foon expepd the Vegetable-Shot : 
For ah ! as they difcharge, the fcrambling Bands 
Quick recoiled the Shot with greedy Hands, 
E Which 

(if) PvmropoUsB'] That is to fay an Evil City, or rather 
m City of Wicked Ones. " We read (fays Monf. Bayle, 
JpiQ:. Vd. s* J?a- 7&9» Lan4^ Edition) « that Phikp ga- 
*^ th^'d ^ether th^ moft v^icked and incorrigible Nlen 
•' <>f his Tioie, whom he lodged together in a City he built 
•• for them, and call'd it P^wr^/^^/?/." It flood in ?5^r^f^. 

Digitized by 


40 Ihe MO BUD', or. 

Which fecm more folid, and alert, to bound. 

Like thrown (r) Ant^us ftrengthen'd by the 

Brickbats and Stones deficient thefe fupply. 
And on him heavier Flings of Evil try. 
Were Dung with thofe to fail, and Lemon- 

Huckfters for Pillage hold vaft Magazines. 

The Hind fobs difmal deep'. Sobs nought 

^^^^- [BellywaUj, 

Back, Sides, Breaft, Shoulders, Neck, Hips, I 

Their joint Contufion by the peppVing Hail. J 

His Pate, inclin*d beneath lopp'd Hat, to fave 

The Face, may foon a Cap o^ Plsufters crave. 

His drooped Sconce fmart Ruins clatt'ring 

*^^""^» [of Back. 

Thence with continued Stains pollute his Length 


(r) Ant^t^ &c.) The Giant whom (according to the 
Fable) Hercul-s encountered, who, as often as he was 
thrown, recciv'd fre(b and greater Strength from his Mather 
the Eartb. 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 41 

Cbeefc, dry'd obdurate, in his ftoreful Poke, 

And Bread of Barley, crumble at the Stroke ; 

Or battered the brown ftony Walls of Pye 

(Tho' firm as a Redoubt) in Fragments lye ; 

Or Pudding, which did Gobs of Suet teach 

Confolidation, dafh'd, admits a Breach ; 

Or dangling Key's from trufty Purfe-ftring torn, 

Or Sheath in twaia from Knifie, in Trowfers 

By Civil Powers abandon'd to Diftrefs> 

ShouM mifcr^ant he Agreftic Gods addrefs ? 

Alas ! old Pan's no more ; Sylvanus fleeps ; 

Nor chriften d Britain a Pomona keeps ; 

Long fince the Dryads left to haunt the 

And tripping Fauni ceasM. the Lsiwns to rov^* 

And cou'd fuch Godlins hear him, they'd retain 

The Boon, till they might opportunely daign 

Him ni/lic Vengeance in fome pathlefs Clofq, 

Glade, ploughed Land, Green>yood, or the 
prickly Gofs y * 

E z Where 

Digitized by 


42 The M OBI AD; or. 

Where might juft (i) Wberrets, Scats^ and 

Reap Satisfaftion on the truant Troops, 
When, (t) Micbers, Uiey for Ncft, hedge- 
breaking go, ^5j^^ 
Or («)Oackcub, Haw, Blackberry, Hep, or 

Wou d venting Bitches Whelps ! revenge his 

Or belching Whore/on Brats ! aflert hrs Part ? 

Corredlion, by fome plaguy Left-Hand flung, 

The Scandal ftrikes abortive of? his Tongue. 

Wou'd Gellure threat ? ViftdiSive Hurls more 

Will fcarce ajfford him Space to brandish Stick* 

And fliou'd it drive, he'd turn'd the Slingers fee 

Offend, like Parthians, in a Feint to flee. 


(s) WherretSj Scats, ice] Country Words for BUwty &c. 

(t) MUbers'} Or TruanU. Shakefpear tifcs the Word in 
his Hen. 4. 

(u) OakcuLI Sq th^ People in Exeter call the Chafer^ 
probably from that Infed's pitching on Qaks^ apd feeding 
PH th^ Leaves, 

Digitized by 


. Battk of the Voice. . 43 

So rife the Balls pufh on their airy Run, 
They nearly cloud like rifing Mifts the Sun, 
Nor guiltlefs of at leaft a bloodlefs Wound 
The fleet Offences from the Mark rebound. 

Gall bids him bann : To bann aflays he vain ; 

A Da{h on Mouth dings back the Ciirfe again. 

Confound! and direr Words, were his j but, footh. 

Gore damms the Sound gu(hM from up-rooted 

Back on himfelf the execrable Vote 

Recoils, and wreaks harfh Rigour on his Throat. 

But had he vex'd Elisha*s dooming Breath, 

Which drove on Pefts lefs nocent mangling 

Death, ^ . j j 


His feller Mood whole Greeni-and's Bears 
Nor one devoted Caitiff *fcapc a rending Paw* 

He weeps, morofely weeps ; and fee ! o*top 
His heaving Breaft big Tears of Anger drop. 
But Tears the Rocky melt not, rather Tears 
Work their triumphant more oiFending Jeers. 


Digitized by 


44 Tihe MOBIAD', or. 

As o'er his blubbered Checks Eyes bootlefs gleet. 

His Whine for Mercy duns the giggling Street 

But oh ! th' Inexorable ! were as well 

To {x) Adders, as relenting, urgM the Yell : 

For as, when Military Felons jaunt 

With Backs fle^d raw, the long long (y) Lope 

of Gaunt, 
Drums ruff big Rumble, in exerted Rowls, 
To over-roar their Pity-craving Howls, 
So Shouts, predominant of Noife, unite 
Tp drown the Yawling of die pefter'd Wight. 

Since, then, in Flight alone Afyle he hopes, 
'through the flagitious Rout he hobbling lopes. 


(x) Adim.l The Word, &y Criticks, ought (with the 
Septuagint zxA the Vulgate) to have been rendered id^^, 
which in Pfalm Iviii. is called Adder ^ and faid to be deaf^ 
and toy?^ his Ears, fo as- not to hearken to the Voice of 
the Charmer ; it being confidently aflured that ttus Species 
of Serpents adlually fo flop their Ears. 

(y) Gaunt.] Meaning that Martial Punifhment cail*d 
Rnming tht Gaunt hpe, as invented or ufed firft 4t Gamt^ 
or Ghenty in Fland^s. 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 45 

Before him tofs his focial Tits in Fright, 

l^Jor need commanding {z) Rbee ! Terrup ! or 

Struck Flints cut Sparkles from the clinking 
That hobnails o er or clouts his ample Heel. 
The loadfome Clog attempted Hafte impedes, 
And, Hiding, baulks th' induilrious clumfy 

Treads. ./- 

[icour 5 

Yet could high Trot the fcamp'ring Bumpkin 
Hard after would purfuing Mifchief pour ; 
Nor, till he'gain'd the Gate, Relief he*d gain, ' 
If, by ill Fate induc'd, no recent Swain 
Should intercept the Brunt of maffy Rain. 

Beware, raw {a) Pagans ! who, in Morning's 

Bring Grain or Wood, or fetch manuring Lipie, 


(z) Rhee! &c.] Thefe are Terms or Sounds us'd by 
our G)untry Wood-carriers, &c. to command their Hor- 
fes by, to go forward, to turn or incline to the Right-hand 
or Left. T[irup^ 1 imagine is as much as if to fay. Troop 

(a) Pagan} This Word in its genuine and original Im* 

Digitized by 


46 7h MOBIJ^Di or. 

Beware, nor enter, though by lawful! Calls^ 
On lawlefs Days, th' inhofpiteble Walis, 
Left fliould demolifh'd Nofe, loft Tooth or Eye, 
Your Paffage dirough our Civic Highway bay. 

port, means no more than yiUager^ or Cotrntiy-man. But 
taking it even in its prefent common Ufe and fecondaiy 
$enfe, mi^t it not hav« been fomewhat incongruous to have 
reprefented him as apt to call on the fiditious Rural Gods 
Without making him poetically a Sort of Mifcreant or Hea- 
then ? Neither is it unconimon to fay of our Country P)* 
iifhes that they are but a Parcel of Heathensy — though 
many of them behave more chriflianly th^n many, or indeed 
the major Part, of our Citizens. 

End of the Second Canto. 





Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice » 47 


O C E N E s fo perplexed in juft Aray to bring, 

* *^ And regularly of Cpnfufion fing. 

Proceed, O Muse ! in Order, to defcribe 

The various Actings of th* Elefting Tribe j 

From thofe who marr to thofe who mufter 

Aid by {a) welUwiJhingy or well wafliing Throats j 

Club Voice gratuitous, or, wifer, fell, 

Aflift by drinking or by drubbing well ; 

Thofe who, to regulate the Stir, — ( ^i far 

As Law direBs) — ^ with Staves of Peace make 
war J 

Or only bribe, or only bet, or bawl. 

Debate in Houfe, or domineer in HalU 

F At 

(a) Will-iviJhingJ] Such as arc not Frumtn^ but as being 
JViU-wiflars (as they call it ) to the Caufc arc allow'd of 
each Side intitled to the S^uill^ provided they bawl well. 

Digitized by 


4? * l^e MOBIADy er. 

At hand's the Hour when Nymphs in 
Screams acute 

Deep Entries for the Vent of Milk falute ; 

And Petrocjc's TowV, with added (b) Head 

^"^^^"^^» [Chime, 

Since Day-fpring firft ftrikes up {c) religious 

Pfalmy the Notes ; — though, haply, in a Pet 

Did Sternhold them to fnip-fnap Mufick fet. 

Shrill (d) Hautboys and the ftiriller Trumpet 
greet, ' 

Attentive Ears, by Turn, in evVy Street ; 

^ Whofe 

(b) Added Head. ] A fmall Dome, or Turret, being 
lately built o'top of it for the Reception of another (I think 
a fixth) Uttle B^U. 

(c) Religious Chime.] At 8, 12, and 4 o'CIock, St- 
Petroci*s Chimes play Sternhold's queer eld Tune of the 
Fourth Pfalm. - - 

(d) Hauthcys^ ice] The City Walts and Trumpet, 
about this Hour of Eight, b/sgin to traverfe the Town, and j 
after a Flourifli or Tunc, their Spokefman, one of them> 
fummons the Free-men, to the Purport of the Speech here 
fet forth ill Verfe, in thefe following very Words :— '' The 

Right WorOiipful [Here a little Paufe] — •' the 

Mayor of this City, — - [Here another fliort Haufe is made, 
and ofF they almo^ pull their Hats] — " The King's Maje- 
ily's Lieutenant, &c, &c* &c. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Fotce. 49 

Whofc Warble ceas'd, the Prolocutor hems, 
Hauks, ipits, and annual Edidt thus proclaims : 
« The Worfhipful this Cit/s MayV, " [A 

Mojl gracefully here interrupts the ClaufeJ\ 
" Lieutenant of His Majcfty the King/' 
[Here Hands to Hats full mannerly tkty brings] 
•* Hereby commands all Free-Men to prepare 
** To choofe a new one for th' enfuing Year. 
" God fave the King ! '* — Thtts toot th' har- 

monious Band^ 
And mouth the Mandate, at each ufual Stand. 
Glad Routs of Little Ones their Hade purfue, 
A5 if (e) pid^ Pipers ftrangc Inchantment 


F z But 

{0) Pidi Pipirs.'] If any are ignorant of the fo famM Story 
of the Rat-charming pied Pipers who drew 131 Children 
after him out of the Towo of Ham el, in Germany ^ and 
mill them entered a Mountain that opened to receive them, 
they may read it afierted for real Fa£t in Verstegan's 
Antiq. chap. 3. [I now in lyjo add, it may, bifem in my 
Topogr. Dia. Art. HAMEL.] 

Digitized by 


50 the MOB J AD ior^ 

yet why that manifold, that mingled (/} 

W^°°P- ^ [Troop f 

Why jump in Confluence yon ftruggling 

With prying Eyes, Muse ! haften to explore 

Whence the wild Hurry, why fuch early Roar ? 

In Street intitled TSgb^ by the fam*d (g) Lane 
To Venus facred, ftands a f acred Fane, 


(f} Tefwbyj &c.] Betimes this Morning fomc gcncroua 
S^ealots of the Pari& of St. LtiurineiCViJA*A ^ Hoglhead of 
Cyder, for the Ufe (if it ought not rathe* to be call'd Mufi) 
of the Populace, to be brought, and its Head placed, near 
the Centre, cloft^hooic to tbo Church- Wail 9 over whid^ 
on a Pole fix*d to one of the Buttrices, was difplay'd a blue 
. Afann fm a Flag ; vrhilft oa the Tower hung another Jprm 
of the fame Colour, adjoining the withered Limb of an Oak 
Tree, ftuek up, acconling to their Jmgular Cuftom, the 
Twenty Ninth of May. While the Mob were filthily 
draining the Veflel happened the Rev Mr. W — — 
(Whatchecum) to ride by ; on whom fomc of them fell 
with affronting language, HoUowings, indecent Gefture, 
&c &c. 

Ig) Lane.] Caftle-Lane in the Bighftreetj as infamous 
^-[formerly'] — for Drabbing, &c. as was^evcr the Si/burra 
of antient Rome, or are Drury-Lam of London, or D^vh 
nation- Al/ey (as *ti& ni«knam*d) of Plymouth-— ['Twyir 
from fuch now in 1770. Inftead^ a veryj^tuioui^ commadism^ 
eafy Road is now mads Qr making Jrqm tha Hjigbftu^ up fm^ 
iothCq/lle.] i 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 51 

Though graven Images and Shields, ere wUk 
Forn>ing a {h) Conduit-houfe, its Porch com- 

? * [mocks 

Its Window, beautious, (Thanks to Lime, that 

With Freeftone Afpcd: red and rugged Rocks) 

To fanciful Obfervcrs fecm to fmile 

That Nature's Works its paflive Side defile. 

Smile they ? ~ But — hift ! 

Ought we but tell, that (void of (i) guardful 

Pale,. ro 1 

^ [Stale, 

To fend againft lewd Dog's or Drunkard's 


{b) Conduit.'] Before this Church heretofore ftood a Con- 
dait, which being puird down, of the Stones thereof (carv'd 
with the Image of (^ Elizabeth^ as I think it is dedgnM to 
to be underftood. Coats Armoury, &c.) was built the pre- 
fent Church-Porch. But whether they have been addition- 
ally confecrated or not \ find not in Izacii*s Memorials of 

{{) Guardftd Pale.] It's a /iiniSng Sham that, for Want 
of proper Palifadeir or Rails, this Church's Side is made a 
perfe£c Jakes of. If this facetioufly fatircal but true De- 
fcripcion, &c. fhafl provoke proper Perfons to amend the 
Fault, my End and Drift will be in great meafure anfwer'd^ 
who have not Patience to fee the Hot^ $/ God thus irreve- 
rently pi&'d i^n, and worfe. Procul^ procul f/h fro* 

Digitized by 


52 ^%e MOBIADi or, 

Andpoftern Sinks, by Night, their Stain more 

- "^^> [PUe, 

Here (lands (ah! why prophan'd?) a rcv'rend 

Infcrib'd to Saint who dy'd, the Legend faith, 

A (^^) grilliaded Martyr of the Faith. 

The Dons who in this confecrated Dome, 

When in the Mood, to folemn Duty come, 

Vow'd, in a generous Ardour of the Heart, 

UnparalleFd to top Eledion*s Part 5 - 

Yet cheaply noble, in Profufion wife. 

Save Charge of Malt, Hops, Brewage, and 

So, — at the thrifty fcoft of (/) "twelvers Nine, 

Is Hogfhead bought replete with Applet Wine. 

Ere Bakers, to appeafe the maund'ring jMaw, 

Their forempft Batch of reeking Manchets draw. 


{k) Agrtlltadid Martyr.] St. Laurbwcs, as ThiCsUm 
Legend tells us, being martyr'd on a Sort of Gridiron, or 
Iron Hurdle, when half broiled, call'd to the Officer ivho 
prefided at the Execution, telling him one Side was dreft 
enough, dierefore he might turn him up, and begin to fall to. 

(I) ^wehers Nine ) The Price of a Hogftiead of Cyder 
was Nine Shinies or thereabout, at the Time of this Tranf« 

Digitized by 


BattU of the Foic€. 53 

The Orchard's Juice arrives, with fluid Song, 
And dances as it fiafhing jolts along. 
The liquid Hurliburly in the Butt 
Portends its troublous Rumble in the Gut, 
Whofe Lee's foul Pother intimates as plain 
The deftin*d Perturbation of the Brain. 

The Bells (whofe Match no Carrier's Fore- 
Horfe e'er 

Could, for capacious Size, prefume to wear) 

Their tinging Clappers, tripple Clink, imploy. 

And ding-dong wrangle forth parochial Joy : 

The trebble Difcord peals exadl the fame 

To 'wail in doleful Clafh a Houfe in Flame; 

Nor more prepofterous they'd wayward ring. 

If did they quarrel to burlefque the Thing. 


(m) Bells.^ The Tower, built of red roughifli Stone, 
being much larger than, though fcarce fo high as, many 
Chininies, it's eafy to fuppofe its Three Bells (for there are 
full fo many) clafliing make moft excellent Mufick. A 
Country Boy paffing with his Mother a while ilnce by, an4 
obferving fee Tower, innocently cry*d out, *' Looi^ l$ok^ 
Mother^ what a gurt [gr^tj Cbindiy that littk Houfe hatb 

Digitized by 


54 7^ MOB IAD I or. 

From the rough Tow*r (which late a Ruftic 
{m) Youth 

Suppose a Chimney of enormous Growth) 

An azure Enfign on a Mopilick waves 

Its hoftile Flutter, and to Battle braves : 


It lately had with faften'd Strings embraced 

A {n) purfie Ale-mans* Bulkinefs of Waift. 

Behold ! an Oak's Branch near^ whofe withered 

With Verdure {hone laft Twenty-Ninth of May. 

Might not the Change the Patron s Gall provoke. 

His fprightly ((?) Laurel for the £ided Oak ? 

No 3 Him delights fuch Badge of fturdy Love, 

That to {p) Apollo's adds the Tree of Jove. 

This Pennant fcouls Defiance. But below 

Its brother Pennant flaps inviting Show, 


(m) See the Note juft preceding* 
(n) I think the drtpfical AUman ToM Joici.] 
(o) LauTil} The Etymology of LAVRKNTitrs is Lm- 
rwn tinenSy i. e. HoUing the Laurel i as the prefatory In- 
trodiidliofi of his Story in the Legenda Aurea gives it. 

O; ApeWtTree^ &c,] TheZrtf«r«/isfacred to Apollo, 
as is the Oak to JupiTEit. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the F&ice. ^^ 

The bemm*d blue Linen, fix*d toButtrice^ flys. 
And looks a-dryihg hung to Strangers Eyes : 
But errs the Gucfs j for lo ! its Signal's plain> 
To fwiU and leak, and fwill and leak again. 

Beneath this Poll, which, ftay*d, the Banner 

The Cafk an Angle of the Prop inlays : 
Snug at the Centre of the Templets Wall 
The Veffers Head is belfd, or helps^ from FalL 
Oh ! that we could the knotty Symbol cleave. 
And obvious to the Light the Mcaning'leave, 
If it implies — That Toping^ in a fort. 
Should prop the Churchy or from Her have 

But we, dilemma'd, and in Search too flow. 
Permit to thofe fage Emblemifts to know. 
Who thus ordain'd the Manage, what in ]^^ind 
By fuch odd Difpofitioh they defign'd. 
The Mob of clear Pretenfion riJfe draw near. 
And ipring to feize Intoxication's Share. 

G Th: 

Digitized by 


^6 7he MX) B IAD', or, 

Th* increafing Many burn with rival Thirft, 
And new Intruders elbow back the firft. 
The Faucet's {q) Regent' (for, as in the Eaft, 
Of Old were chofen Rulers of the Feaft, 
One governs here the Tap) rifks now the Fate 
Of the (r) fquafliM Steward at SAMARiA*sGate. 
Matrons (s) of Trulla's Kin, in Kags, among 
The bowfing Tumult, For Blue I fquealing, 

'Girls, with Boy Tyroes for the Caufe, wedge in 
The medley QuafFers, and unlearn to fpin. 
Who, early thus taught Modefty to lofe. 
Scarce in their Teens feek Bufinefs in the Stews. 


(q) Faucet* s Regent.'] One Lewls^ a Journeyman of Mr. 
WiUsy Chair-maker, was appointed to draw the Liquor, or 
at leaft to fee that no Wafte was made thereof, — tfiat is to 
fay that none but the rightmcokur^d Mob devilify'd them- 
felves therewith, ^ 

(r) Squajh' J 'Steward.] Sec II. Kings, vii, 19, 20. 

(s) Trulla.'} The Virago, or mafculine filthy Jade, 
brought in by the Poet among the Mob at Bear-baiting in 
Hudibras. There have been fcv^ral of them too mitf h en* 
courag*d here. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice.^ 57 

Imagine now that Point of Day when 
^t) James 

By Bell's Ring warns de vout-and-dainty Dames, 

There fcarpe are Sixty Minutes more allowed 

For humble Worfhip to be trick'd up proud : 

The Point when, licking Butter from their 

In clean Frocks neat to School are Children led; 

Whilft favVy Steams Nofe to folicite rife 

From the fupp'd Liquor of cry'd Mutton*Pies, 

And lufcious Clamours oft* regale the Ears 

With Hot bak*d Apples ! or Hot-fmoaking Pears ! 

When {u) Lord Sinpious, wrung with penal 

Gout, - . - , , 

[rubVd out. 

Since Houfhold Pray'r, which had Old Score 
G 2 Had 

(t) James.} Jamcs Mot TIMOR E, the honeft old Bell- 
toller and Chime-ringer* The Time here by Circumftances 
defcribed fignifics it's being now Nine o'Clock. 

(u) Lord Sinpious.] The nicknaun'd Lord at South withr 
out. Father Dod^ I remember, has among his printed Say 
ings •* £ither Prayer will make a Man give ovtrjirmingj or 
Sin will make him give over prayingJ** But this praying 
and fwearing, godly and wicked^ heavenly and wordly- 
minded Inftance helps to confirm that there's fcarce a geni% 
ral Rule without an Exception^ 

Digitized by 


58 "The M0EJ4Dy or. 

Had kt a Thoufand Execrations fly, 
^nd ran anew in deep Debt to the Sky, 

Now fcatter'd Parties, Drove c9nfronting 

With thwartive Eyes adverfe in Mixture move, 
Jlere Helliers ftraggle in a lazy Shape, 
. As, flouching, they with Hands in Pockets trapc. 
Or thruft below their Aprons, fplafh'd with 

patch'df furl'd, or dangling clouterly to Sight, 
Crifpinians, flippant, though of fhjrdy Air, 
More blidie, and with a galliard Pace, go there, 
There hie who drew from {x) Tubal- Cain 

their Race, ro 


With Copper Brjghtnefs glows each well-ale*d 

There limp grica Mulciber*s befmutted Kind, 

Their forgy Throats with quenchlefs Sparkles 


(^) Tubal-Cifh.] He is faid to be an hflrt^9r of iverji 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 59 

Here Carpenters fhew Backs of ample Square, 

Like knurly Beams rough-hewn of Oaken Ware. 

There Barbers hop with Brows knit politic ; 

Here (y) Mafons, ruddy as their Cheeks were 

Combers, in Veft by Ufe refin'd, and Oil 

AH fplendid, fhuffle to the lov'd Turmoil. 

Here tindur'd Hands difHnguifh thofe who Dye; 

ThereFuUers feud, perfum'd wMth Chamber Lye. 

The greafy Frock of Candle-dipper there 

Inspires near Noftrils with a fatter Air; 

Whilft to aFeaftthe fnufFd grofs Odour craves 

Our Houfliold Vermin from their Planchent 

That, if befriended not by Pufs, their Foe, 

Gnawn {z) Hatto's Fate he*d, haply, undergo. 

Taylors, now each a Map, with nimble Trip, 

Aping a jauntee Mein, there, fwagg Ving fkip, 


(y) JIda/om.J McreBnckhyerszrcinExeter&yVdMef/om^ 

(z) Hatt§*s Fate.] Hat to, a vile Archbifliop of Ment^^ 

IS (aid, or rather forg^d^ to have been eaten up alive by 

Kat^, a Judgment on )iim for c^in^ the Poor Rat?, &c« &c» 

Digitized by 


6o He MOB IAD ^, or^ 

Whofc Hearts feel fcarcc more aggrandizing 

Swells . 


When their hir'd (a) Text conforts the hireling 

Or while op f^^ Bridge at Iron-Dish they ftand 

In Vifit to their own wall'd Gallows-Land, 

Scarce could they wear Looks more fuperbly 

Was each a Bowhay of a Bully — arse. 
Gad Bakers there, whofe fweaty Caps, beneath 
Hats meaFd and dough d, their fcprchM brown 

Temples wreath. 
Here Flocks of Weavers, who this Morn difdain 

Their Beechen Bowls of Broath new vamp'd to 



{a) 7>jr/.] On Midfummer-Day^ when the Exsnlan Tay* 
tors chufe a Mafter of their Company, they fignalize then:^* 
felves, beyond other ordinary Corporations, by hiring a S#r- 
nton to be preached before them, —[of which one heretofore 
had the Text Let him that hath fiolen Ileal no mort^ —- and 
another — Yet a lUmnant Jball be fav'dl" and the Cathe- 
dral Bells to ring all Day. 

{h) Bridge,'] The Burial- Yard of Heavitree -Gallows be- 
longs to our Company of Taylors to take care of, for which 
a Bit of Land was bequeathed to 'em. Once a Year they 
walk out in a Body to vifit it, when on the Bridge, at a Place 
caird Irm-Dijb they tarry fomc Time, treating each Paffler- 
by with a Mug of Ale. 

■ Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 6i 

Kcen-ey'd, alert, dank (as they huddled walk. 
All Tongue, no Ear) harfh Vehemence of Talk: 

LikeMafh of Jabber flooded {c) Exe bcflows. 

When ruffled (he o*er rugged Head-Were 

Grum Catchpoles, arm'd with Oak-Plants, 
huge of Knob, 

Indulging Vacance from a Harpy Jobb, 

Among the refl: with itching Claws refort. 

And with a mingled Terror dafh the Sport. 

Thofe too who drive th* o'crloaden Sledge ad- 

With hagard and outfagious Countenance, 

Whofe Lafli Lafli Laffi incarnate Fiends dilplay 

On the hard, cruel, killing {d) Steep of Kay. 


(c) ExeJ] The Rivet on which Exetir is fituate, and 
from which that City derives its Name. Head-Were is tho 
Name given to the uppermoft of the Two above the Water- 

(d) Steep of Kay.] Kay Hill. England is faid to be a 
HeU for Horfes. If fo, this HiU may be caU'd Kay-HelL 
Hereon a Perfon of tender Humanity^ and« a fympathifmg ' 


Digitized by 


6i the MO^BtADi or, 

{e) Slaves of the Shainbles, with more ugly Low 

Than ere they learned of madded Ox or Cow, 

Loud, fwift, and foul, as Torrents roaring down 

O'er (f) Stepcote-bilh that rage Exe-Brtdge to 
drown i 

Where-ere the fanguinary RufFains roam. 

The Jaws of licensed Slaughter feems to foam* 

But why is thus Detail in Special made ? 

In Sum, we fee large Draughts frpm ev'ry Trade^ 

As they in feparate Brigades go by. 

Or jumbled mifcellanepus in AUie. 

Street, Lane, and Alley their Contingents fend. 

And evVy Tap-Houfe yawns 'for Dividend. 


Goodnature, may too often be ftruck with Horror. Sureljr 
it wei;e not very difScult to evince, by Reafoii and Scrip- 
ture, that the hardened Wretches who ufe God's Creatures 
with Cruelty, or lafli them on to Performances beyond their 
Strength, Ihould expeft to anfwer for it hereafter, as for 
Sins unnatural; [This Hill hath been made a littk fmreprac* 
ti cable. '\ 

(e) Slaves, &c. Journeymen Butchers, fuchas jfjily, &c. 

(f) Stepcfite-bilL] To the Weft of this City is a Dcfcent 
called Step'ccte'hilly to which as the 6utcherow leads, the 
Guts, Blood, Litter, Ordure, and a Variety of Nafttnels 
from the Shambles^ are, in hardiShowers of Rain, rapidl/ 
tarried over-it into the River, juft by Exe-bridge. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the' Voke. 63 

Deft Managers, betimes^ with fearchful Care, 
Smoak Who are Who, as fundry Signs declare, . 
As cunnitig Spies to reconnoitre fcout. 
And fteal Advice what lurks the Foe about* 

* Now Chiefs of haughty Bofom fupple ftoop 

Ev*n to the Jakes to angle for a Dupe, 

•Who for .a Wheadle will invert his Coat, 

Or for a Promife proftitule his Throat. 

The Mdft^r-Tradefmen courtly condefcend 

To call a fimple Working-Man my Friend^ 

Familiar fit, and pledge, by touching Pots, 

Whom they have fkunn'd for 'Scoundrels, 
Scrubs, and Sots. 

A tatterM Gaffer is accofted, Sur! 

And Sbabs are 'Neighbours own d without Pe« 
' mur. 

Druggift to Pouijder tips obliging Wink, 

Afld Mercer afks his Errand-Man to drink. 

Grocer on Porter's Arm lays fweet ning Pat, 

And Draper to a Taylor touches Hat. 

H Aa 

Digitized by 


64 ^^ MOBIADi or, 

A Sinall - Ware - Man extends his plumper 

To ihakc a Pedlar's j And, upwheadled grand, 
A Tinker to a Goldfinith covered goes 5 
And Merchant greets Japanner of his Shoes, 
Nay, Parifli Clarks, who revVend Surplice wear. 
And whofe AJfent authentic renders Pray'r, 
Whom (boxM in hallow'd Defk, full Jole by 

With Padbn) Learn'd in Look, demurely fleek, 
Reading a clear Half-Title to the Gown, 
We muft (g-) Inferior Clergy ! duely own 5 — 
Ev*n Clarks lay by their State, and Sextons join. 
As they co-equal tope, co-equal Chat and Coin* 
Startup, magnificent of Thought, though He 
Adorns in Pew Chief -Warden's big Degree, 
His wonted Infolence forgoes a while. 
And nods a Congee with a lureing Smile. 


ii) InferUr Oefgy.) So a Certain Clark In this City ftjrl'd 
himfelf and his brother Clarks. We (iays he) of the inferior 
Clergy can, fome of us, read better than our Mafterst 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 65 

Celsus the folcmn, whofc Plutonian Frown 
Looks fupercilious on mere Mortals down, 
AfTumes a Spice of almofl civil Guife, 
And bears a Dafh of Sweetnefs in his Eyes, 
(bj PuMino, whofe all-penetrating Sight 
Through the proverbial Millftone meets the ^ 

Great on the Bench as Hudibras is fung, 
(Where, formidable for a doubty Tongue, 
With Him not (ij Abel on the Stage com- 
In bearing up th' Importance of Affairs) 
Not wanted yet at Council-board to fpeech. 
Sits clofe Companion witfi fome vulgar Breech. 
Ev'ri bulky {k) Tuber; whofe vaft Stomach 

Much as the Fable of the Paddock tells, 

H 2 And 

(*) PVMIUO, 9lias DandipraU 
(0 Abel in the Play calPd ThiCofmnlttHy &ۥ 
{k) Tuber. [/ knew this Pirfm douitlefs in 1737, bu 
forget bip nm in 1770.] 

Digitized by 


66 The MO BUD I or. 

And more the Cloaks fo late put on^ dilates 
Than an High-Mighty of the Belgic States, 
Abate an Inch of bloted Grandeur can. 
Nor look immenfer than an Alderman. 

Though thcfe Pi^tricians fcattcr Vows to fight 
]Like Roman Tribunes for Plebeian Right, 
And promiflbry Patriots become 
As popular Love-winning Absalom, 
Yet Mobs truc-ft^el'd and ftomachful rejedt 
The ftale Cajole, nor wiU defert their Sefl:. 
Defert their Sed ? — As foon a Jilt (hall rap 
A flufli'd new Cully for a fleec'd old Chap. 
As foon the Spark fliall keep Connubial Vowsi 
^Wbo makqs, for P^lf, a loathfpme Crone his 
Spoufe : 

Curmudgeons hate of free Regales to tafte^ 
^qd Girls in pamper'd Idlenefs be chafte : 
They Horns efcape who Youth at Seventy wife; 
And Vintners Riches with their Grandfons 
thrieye : 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 6y 

Upftarts In Office more obliging grow. 
And on the Outed Proofs of Love beftow. 
Clodius leave Wenching, to oblige his Wife, 
And Tabid Toping to preferve his Life : 
As foon fliall (I) Phill the pridelefs ceafe to 

*^" [befell. 

What Things when he Head^ Steward was 

Or what Events took place in fome great Hour, 

Whilft dignify'd He Chair of Governoun 

Defert their Sedl ? What ! turn a Recreant ? 

No I fooner he incurred of Bread the Want 

No; they, tenacious of their proper Dyes, 

Proposed Cockades of alien Hue defpife, 

And, firm as Rocks, by Tides ne'er overborn. 

In Love of Privilege, Icnown Welfare fcorn* 

N^y, fome, jnore moody, their own Maftcr* 

And pifh at being from Imploy cafliier'd j 


(0 Ph|ll. Phili, Bastard, who in all Companies 
JuggM in fomething tQ fpeak of his having been one of the 
wnual Stewards, or Bailiffs \ and the fame with regard of 
having had his Turn of being Governor among the incorpoh 
rated Guardiaiis of the Poor, 

Digitized by 


68 Tie MOBIADi or, 

111 Names retort, and dafh Uf braidings by. 
And Setjeants menac d to the Back defy. 

Thus flout St, Peter elevates his TowVs, 
Expos'dtoThunder, Stormy Blafts and Show'rs ; 
But ftands them all unmov'd, and braves the Sky 
To fpend its Rage in conftant Battery; 
Seems but to whittle at the V/indj the Rain 
Precipitates with Scorn j and with Difdain 
Hears the wroth Tempeft b«t his founding j 
Plain. J 


Ale-foakers now exert their leachy Skill 
Quick to induce the (m) Running of the ^ilL 


(m) Running of the ^uilL) When die Rabble have Liquor 
given 'em before, at, or after ElefHons, they fay the ^iif 
runs at fuch or fuch a Houfe ; and they getting themfelves 
drunk by it they call ^iUin^, or drinking upon the ^iU. 
I conjecture it had its Origin from a ^tlFs being us*d for 
the Liquor's running through from the Mefliing- Vat ia Brew- 
ing. Nor is it indeed inipoflible but a ^iU was heretofore 
iis'd here inftead of a modern Brafs Cock, or Wooden Fau^ 
cet,; we 0ill faying Put the Jug, &c. to Pen^ \rfien we'd 
fignify the having it run from thieHoglhcad immediately into 
the Jug, 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Foke. t^ 

Shall to be freely drunk the Right be loft. 
That beft of annual Rights Shab-Frcemenboaft ? 
Rather come on no free Eledlion more. 
Nor ev'n the prided Privilege to roar ! 
For Parties both, amidft their Jarrs, unite 
In Claim to (hare the Bacchanalian Right. 
No Quill ran ? Rather Flood-fwoln Exe away 
Run with the IJland Malt-houfe to the Sea ! 
Let [n) Bangs on Stalls, and joUierWickednefs,"! 
Hoots, Drabbing, Fiddling, Swearing, Cavils, I 

* [Prince of Peace- j 

And Brabbles, on the Morn when born tbeJ' 

Yea rather let each new-chofe May^r detain 
The City's Buckets 5 let the Butchers chain 


^n) Bangs J &g.] The Chriftmas-Day Morning is moft 
fcandaloufly abufed here by the Particulars above-mentioned, 
and a helliih Variety of other Wickcdnefi and Outrage. 
Mean while, (ome accompanied with Fiddles, others with- 
out them, rove about the City, and under Windows fing 
Carols of Chrift, God, and the Holy-Ghoft, and fo make 
tiiem iti De«dthe5^of liiQ Dfmkard. And for fuch 
impudent -Prophaneneis they are rewarded, -having not only 
ChriAmas Drwi, but Money to be more drujik witfa^ given 
^m. ^[But fuch'fimdahus Night-MMif^^ ice. &c. hma 
if-UUet T^vfiihim muh fapp9ef$^4 amLintanly quafbld.} 

Digitized by 


70 The MOBIADi or^ 

Their Maftives up, in Spite, to difannul 
That glorious Law oi worrying a BuUi 
And fo — preventing mortal Colds by Sweat, 
Or Colds as killing by {p) Affaults of Wet) — 
Reduce the wonted Flufh of Deadly Trade 
Of thofe who wield the Peftle or the Spade, 

But oh ! in vain they fkilful Mumpings ply ; 
For yet the Chiefs their Running Squill deny ; 
And Tefters, here and there, ftruck up, fuffice 
But juft a heart ning Quait or fo to raife. 

Yet Patience, Soakers ! and forbear to dun : 
^ills fhall as freely as the Conduit run. — 
As ponded Mill-Brooks, free'd of Bar, redeem 
Loft Time by gufhing in a rapid Stream, 
Anon, .in Seafon, though Stagnation now 
Witholds the Current, fhall Ale-Rivers flow. 


(9) Wet.'] The Butchers, &c. who are annuaBy permit* 
ted to beat a Bull (a Dlverfion which too many of our tender- 
hearted fine Dames fcem to delight in ) before the Mayor's 
Door, throtv Buckets or Hats-fiill of Water on all they can 
reach, &c.«-«See another Note on the Occafion in Canto iv. 

Digitized by 


Battle of tie Voice^ 7 1 

What though Alboeus {p) hides awhile from 
View, » - 

And fepms to bid his upper Banks Adieu, 
Fre(h, freih^ in Vigour, he breaks fivth again. 
And viiibly flows jocund to the Main. 

(P) -^Iphius.^ This River doth run quite through Jrca^ 
dia^ EUsj and along the City of Pifa i foon after which it 
is fwallowed up in the Earth. From dience it is fuppos'd 
to run» by a fubterraneous Channel, under the Sea, without 
inixtng with the Salt Water, and (b to pa& quite into 5/al/, 
where it mixes itfelf with the Fountain Antbufa^ near the 
City of Syracufi ; infomuch that any Thing that is thrown 
into it on the ElU Side is faid to come out of the Fountain 
above-named. Vid. Diod. Paufan. et al. Hence the poetic 
Fiction of Jlphius's Love to Jntbufa. Univ. Hift. Vol. ii« 
pa, (fd. Edit.) 406. Note (b). 

End of the Third Canto. 


CANTO ly. 

Digitized by 


7^, Tie MOB IAD ; w, 


BY this, where Houfes, whclving, Houfes 

And vault with Beetle-brows a fhelving Street, 

Where flout (a) St. Peter, on the Corner Stall, 

Props the impending Edifice from Fall, — 

The lufcious Smoke oFFurmity an Hour 

Had tempted errant Younglings to devour* 

By this had Rural Blowzes made their Rounds, 

OnSteeds-and-Panniers, in the licensed Bounds, 

Whom grudg'd Half-penny's Fee admits to" 

fcream ^^ 


Milk, Cabbage, Apples, Butter, Eggs, stnd 

And (b) Otho made their Malediftipn's 


(a) St. Petir^ &c ] Meaning Northgati-flreH. 
(h) Otba.] iMr, Otho Channoii, the Market-Man, 
and my honeft Kinltnan* 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 73 

By this had funky {c) Jenkin, Friends prcfume. 

Of Pipe the tenth whiiF'd the white curling 

Fume. . ■ 


By this had (d) Skindly through ten Streets 
With lewd loud Scandal, and been voted hang'd. 
By this hiflorlc Snarl thrice tenthly fpake 
His Faculty of — Pronenefs'to — miftake. 
By this did Sorbid, Lip-bewraying, fluff 
His Noftrils with his fiftieth Gripe of Snuff* 

I 2 By 

(c) Jeniin.1 Jenkxk Willi ams^ the honeft Wilcb 
Landlord of our Eaftern JFhiU Hart Inn, fo tight a Frlei(4 
to the Revenue, that is, (fich a perpetual Snioaker, that he 
feems, in fome Meafure, as if he fubfifted partly by it : 
For which Reafon Wags have affign'd to fuch his Smoke die 
Epithet of vitaL He is an early Stirrer, and fticks the 
Tube in his Jaws, as foen as (if not before) he fteps out of 
Bed ; from whence he fcarce ever plucks it but to fill. 
Suppofing him to have gat up, this Morning of extraordinary 
Bufinefs, between Five or Six, we can't in Confcience al« 
low him lefs than his tenth Pipe by Ten o'Clock. An hy- 
perbolical Fellow once ofFer'd to maintain, by a moderate 
Computation, he had Fire enough in his Kpe during the 
common Six Days, if collcfied into a Body, to boil his Pot 

(d) Siinley.^ The moft nolfy and moft fcandalous of 
R-fc-s, whofc chief or only Delight was induftrioufly to 
/pread Defamation, felfe or true, through the Town. 

Digitized by 


74 ^be MOB I^D; ^, 

By this hail (e) Chamfion, like Tithdnitsi' 

In early fhaking oflf unhealthy Reft* 

Had on ten Benches try'd whofe Ale was beft.. 

By this had the Eocleiiaftic Chime 

ProchdiBtt'd of Forenoon-PrayV the inftant Time; 

Whilft Nymphs not piink'd-up with Ball Airs 
to pray 

£at fipping Slander with their Pagan Tea. 

By this, another Morn, had (f) Drum been 

^""'^ [Guard, 

With martial Beat to ghear' the marching 

Nor were the Ws^rriour Wags arrayed to play, ' 

In Garrifan kept fafe from Warfare's Way, 

And mock tbeTown^Implqypaent of the Day. , 


(4) Chap^ion.'} Mr. Champion, of the Suu^ Inn. 
He is truly defcribcd in the Vcrfe. 

f/j Drum.] Prccifcly at Ten was wont a Party of the 
Regiment quartered here to march to the Caftlc, to mount 
and relieve the Guard. But, of late, finc^ Mobbing run 
fo high* the Commanding Officers, to prevent the Soldiery's 
interfering with, or being drawn into, the Squabbles of the 
Towft, hav? us*d to order *?m \^^tiak^ into ^e fajd Caftle 5 


Digitized by 


Bcmk of the Voice. 75 

But whence that Hurricane of Voice we 

hear ? i. , 

[appear ! 

Sec ! Crowds in Deluge through Eastgate 
The Yellow (^) Greeks with vaft Huzza 

ruih in ; 
And Blues look hluer at the dauntful Din. 
For lefs intrepid and fecurc of Fame 
Thegen rousRoMANSofthe(^) FA3iANName, 


where being confined 3II Day they have ijs'd to divert them* 
felves and Officers with a Mock-EUSfion of their own» 
which th^ have fometimes done very comically, one Party 
being for the Time reputed Bhuy the oth^ TtlloWj &c. 

(z) Gneks.l So we Surname, I know not why, the rug* 
ged Inhabitants of St. Sidwelb. The Tide feems to have 
arifen from their contending with the City at Foot-ball, &c. 
they being pJl'd Grteks as making the Invaflon, and the 
Townfmen perhaps Trojans in defending their Groundy 
^c. ' ^ 

(h) FabtanJ] Near about the Year of Rome 280. Cafi 
Fabkis and T. Virginius being Confuls, the Plebeians refufing 
to inlift tp ferve againft the Hetruriamj who invaded their 
Country, the Fabii^ to the Number of 306, with about 
4000 Vafials and Clients^ generoufly engag'd to fecare the 
Frontiers agaiiift the Enemy, They march'd gallantly 
through the Gate Carmentalis ; Which became famous there- 
by ; but which, on their being to a Man cut off, was after- 
wards nam'd Porta fceUraia^ or the accurfed Gati. Sec 
Qvid Faft:. |. ii. "-^^ Carmtntis pott4t 4Wf/rtf, &c. 

Digitized by 


76 rbe MOBIAt), or. 

Marched through their famM Carmen tal 

Gate, to go 
And quell the Infults of th* Hetrurian Foe. 

As under (i) Shalldown*s cliffy Coaft, 

where Teino -^ . 


With Brine confounds, at Ebb, her fweeter 
When Neptune drives the mobbing Flood 

The liquid Ridges turbulently throng. 
Waves hilling on the Backs of Waves fwell high. 
And on the craggy Upland throw the Spry, 
Then in her Bay ufurp the lefT ning Strands, 
And roll an Ocean o'er the fhelly Sands, 
So the rough Populace, in-gu(h'd, amain 
Extends on each Side of the paved Plain. 


(t) ShaHdown] A little Fifcln^-Town, between which 
and Teignmoutb runs the River f/«|', or I'eing ; or rather 
where that River difemlx^ues. The Defcription of the 
Place and of the Tide's flowing there is exa6Hy naturali^ 
whether or no it be artfully enough poetical. Nor, we humr» 
biy prefume, is the Simile or Comparifon quite unapt. 

Digitized by 

Google , 

Battle of tht Voice. jy 

Three ftanch Chicf-Mkfters of the Woolly 
UnfliockM by Bankruptcies, and Fqrtune-proof, 
Chearily gruff, whofe Looks of Bus'nefs charnni, 
Grace in the Front the rugged rapid Swarm. 

The Stretch of Rabble, Twelve a-breaft, 
draws nigh ; 
And (k) Haddy ! Haddy ! rattles to the Sky. 
The honeft Vogue afcends Heav n's fmiling 

Which in approving Ecchoes bids the Name; 
And ever, as the duteous Clamours foar, 
Methinks fome Angel crys. Encore ! Encore I 
On t' other hand, from divers Quarters led. 
See, growing Squadrons wide ForestreST 


(I) Haddy.l Mr. Haddy, who had difcharg'd the Office 
of High-SherifF, and all the inferiour, with Reputation, and 
was one of the Candidates at a former Election to the May- 
oralty » was expected, and extremely wiih'd, to have been 
again fet up** 

Digitized by 


78 ^be MOBIADi or. 

Envy and EmuUtiomiQiarp incite 

By angVing Poftures to denounce the Fight, 

The Mouthy Fight and more. With mutual 

They, intricate, to fkirmifli ftrait begin. 

Alternate Vollie§ of adverfe Acclaim 

To pierce with miflive Daunt, bombarding, aim. 

A Hundred Throats club Energy of Bawl 

For Blue ! $ a Hundred^Sr the Tellow I fquawL 

O'er the pounchM Lip Boars foaming Dudgeon 

And Dragons Malice hifles through the Gumst^ 

Hands clapp'd on Buttocks ^iHi lift braving dare, 

And mettled Skips agai^ftbold Leaps declare* 

Brow-beatings glum terrific FroWos oppofe* 

To cope ^am'd Cheeks the iparkling £ye*ball 

At pointing Fingers levelFd Fingers rage. 

And Mouths awry with fnarling Jaws engaged 

High-waving Hats with Hat? high-flourifli'd vie. 

Shouts anfwcr. Shojits, and Habsf to Hobs! reply. 


Digitized by 


BdttU of the Voice, 79 

Vile Names, like Stinkpot9, thoagh to Truth 

unknown, ^ 

Are, interchanged^ upoa each other thrown : 

So is by Wolves afperfive Urine flung^ 
And the Bon&fus batdes with his Dung. 

In Parts remote the RiffrafF, Men and Boys, 
With leaning Ears drink the kfedious Noife ; 
And^ vainly wifh^d the Field's flemove, to ihare 
The hideous Pleafures of the Strife more near. 
At once Commotion from each Outikirt rolls. 
And dark Defiles pour out new-mufter'd Sholes. 
With trudging Speed their Feet Impatience 

Andy fpringing, to the Camp of Difcord bring^t 

So, oftV in Bodies, when diipos'd to jar 
The Blood impure, and peccant Humours war, 
They from th* extremer Parts in Conflux join 
Beneath the Arm, or centre in the Groin j . 

K Where 


by Google 

€o Tht MOBJADy or, 

Wh€re> babbling fierce within a Bily Urn, 
Appcafelefs they a new Corruption churn. 
And, wrathful, in n^anian Tumours burn.^ 

BickVing in Difarray the Powers they find, 
Arm*d as with Stings of Hornets in the MiiuL 
Enthusiasm, the hotteft Fiend on Earth, 
Hell-born, though it pretends a heav'nly Birth, 
Wayward impels the Shock ; lewd Discord 

And mad Sedition bellows at their Heads. 

As Dog ( Fve 6cn ) on Travel, ftimg b/ 

ArrivM at Inn, with gnawing Huqger gaunt, 
{And t^ Experience taught a jnft PefpsMr 
Of his lefs faithful Matter's duteous Care) 
In Kitchen, catering, fnatch an OfFil Feaft, 
Or ravin on a Bone, his hard Repafl: ! 
And, bold by Famine, diligent beftir, 
Spight of th' inhofpitable menial Cur, 


Digitized by 


Battk of tbi Fiici. 8i 

Shews Teefh prepared for Teetb, and Yells far 

And renders Snarls for Snarls, and Growls ioc 

So vehement, fo greedy of the Fray, 
Ruih the new Comers to th' in»battled Way: 
Hobs! quick engage with Habsl 9f (krew'd 

Outftares the Gorgon of a wrefted Face ; 

The rival Buftlers masse a Change of Ground, 

And each Side, foanung, thunder Sound! for 
Sound i 

As, when atDiftance fla/hing Sulphurs growli 
And to the Down their grunoibled Terrors rowl. 
The confcious Shepherd, of eyperienc'd Ear, 
Quakes left the growing Menace burft too near. 
The Suburbs round, drained of their variousDin, 
Hear, ihaking^ the colledted Roar within* 

But, fudden Awe I the trembling Streets 

As though infernalTempeft flioqk'dtheQround I 

K z And 

Digitized by 


iz Tie MOBIAD^ or. 

And fee the Caufc : — Six fmoaking Steeds 

With la(h*d-up Fury whifldng on a Coach: -^^ 

How hurricanian fwift ! No fleeter Kind 

Are father d, in the Iliad» oft the Wind, 

So glow their working Noilrils, as they run. 

As if the fiery Courfers of the Sun 

Wedded terreftrial Mares, with proud Defign 

To raife aStu4, half mortal^ half divine. 

Back ! back ! upfw^ft of Foot ! His Life's at 

flake ' 

Who dares acrofe the Canal Refuge take : 

No more the Jehu would his Gallop flay 

Than (/; Tullia, limp'd his Father in the 


(1) TuitiA, &c.] Learned and Well-read Pcrfons Hccd 
no Note here ; yet for the fake of lefs informed others, 'tis 
bpped they'll not abhor one, tho- fiot of the ihorteft Size. 
Tarquin furnam'd the proud^ Son-in-law to Servius 
TuLLius, King of Ronu^ inftigated thereto by his execra* 
blc \yife, the above TuLtiAj confpirjed againft hij lai4 
f ather*in^Iaw^ and by AfMination murtber'd him in the 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 83. 

Lefs rapid rattling are Stage-Drivers known. 
Of Cattle oftentatious, through a Town. 
Upward he threatful Courfe to Hfitel takes. 
And all along each lofQr Manfion fhakes. 

Now 'ftabli{h*d Churches fancy Perils more 

Than (harp {m) Sacheveral defcry'd of Yore. 

The fundry Gates, Eaft, Weft, North, South, 
and Kay, 

Feel joint Concuflion and a joint Difmay ; 

Aud fear naight Qates which the Chief Temple 

Ircft, tumbling, they expofe again the Tardy 


Street: And this impious Wretch riding triumphantly in 
her Chariot through the fame Street, her Driver, ftruck 
with Horrour at the Sight of the bleeding Corpfe, ftopp*4 
bis Horfes, She call'd to him to go on. He told her, he 
could not without driving over her own Father's Body. 
She flung a Stool that was in the Chariot at his Head, com* 
manding him to drive on. He obeying, fome of her own 
Father's Blood ftuck to her Chariot Wheels, &c. 

(«) Sachevbral.J Dr. Hen. Sacheveral, fa« 
mous at the latter End of Q^ Anne's Reign, for a Sermon* 
twice preach'd, on the Danger of the Church, from the 
Text In Pml§ at^iot^falfe Bntbrpf^ 

Digitized by 


84 "The MO hi AD I or. 

The feparated Tard^ to Gangs ^o cou'd 
Shed a new \^orthiet («) John the CHAtJi** 

TfeR's Blood, 
Did Chaunters ftilU like faperftitipus, creep 
To warble Pray'r fp early, half afleep. 

Around the Walls a panic Horror fpreads. 
And the torn Gaftle quick DeftriiSion dreads ? 
For fcarce more thund'ring in Egyptian Wars 
To Battle rufh^d Scy th*arm'd their Iron Carrs^ 
As now this defperate (e?) deck'd Carr of Hides, 
Twice twofold Murder rolling on its Sides, 

Tremendous ^tna in his Bull- Face glows. 

From whofe ftrong Hold the Rein full length-* 

en'd flows. 

Chin, Cheeks, Nofe, Forehead, all of Rubyfeem, 
And like Carbuncle his flanlM Eyeballs gleami^ 


(n) John the Chauwter.] A Ghauntcrof St. Pe- 
t^r*s of that Name was heretofore murdef'd in the Glwftera, 
as he was early in the Mornit^ g(>ing to otlebrate AlattinaL 

(o) So I venture poetitailiy «» ftyk a Gcifceh^ 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 85 

(p) Pt£ois, fell Planet ! in hia Orbtt ne*cr 

So fir'd of Afped roU'd his bloody Sphere. 

Nor thePoftillion, in Tann'd Coftt of Mail, 

And Ox-l;ude Helmet, fails with Look t' afiail : 

So valiant, keeOi and eager to fubd^e, 

^ach darts his Glance <^« to run a Thoufand 


Horienien, thpir Pctronels in Holfters pUc'd, 

With Crefts embofs'd, and gorgeous Cyphers 


A crwona'd flick Troop, ^ Livery a-Jbrt^ 

Politely ruftic, the gay Wheels ?fcort. 

Odober brifkly mantles in the Eye, 

And ^Road-Beef Gravy feems the Lips to. dye. 

Though bulky Beef-Men of the Moon-fac'd 

Guard r ^ t 

[ny hard^ 

Shew Cheeks iefa broad, and Backs leis braw* 
Yet whifker'd Huflars, fierce in Caps of Fur, 
Lofs bciijdy beld to fivi^kfii .^kirmiijii Ipor. 


(p) Ptrois.] a Name of the Planet Mars*^ 

Digitized by 


86 ^Tbe MOBIADi or^ 

Such, lo ! the Equipage. -~ Shall Clio tell 

What {q) Hero loads the vaunting Vehicle ? 

No J — fmiling gravely, fhe refers the Strain 

To her fweet Sifter of facetious Vein, 

Who thus, — perfifting in the comic. Pin, 

Sings Wbatj — not Wbo^ — the mighty Mars 

A fliot-free Warrior, who, in Home Cam- 

P^'g"** [Swains J 

Commands Dog -Armies, ^nd Dog- kindred 

And, train'd a modern NimroD of the Field, 

Makes modern Wild-Beafts — of the Paddock — 

That not Hircania's Foreft-Records tcU 

There Tygers by fo vaft: a Havock fell 

As fall the dreadful'ft Harts, whilft boldeft Hares 

Are vanquifh'd eaiily as Russia's fiears. 


(q) Hera.} This Kaurc of a Coadi and Six, &c. was 
drawa from the Life, allowing for poetic Embellifliinent.— « 
[This Gentleman wmsfonu Hmourary' freeman ; thet^b inde^d^ 
and in Jemm emd hUmn Truths I have forgot partieubrfy 

^Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. By 

Bravely as (harp-fet Trojans, for their Food, 

Fought Harpies, he aflaults Cods o* the fFood: 

Undaunted as an jifric Hunter tracks 

The Oftrich, he fell Patridges attacks i 

And fats a more inhofpitable Way 

With Blood of Snipes, — and fuch dire Fowls 

of Prey! 
Ev*n HE, for Country*s Good, leaves Country 

To head fome City Dregs of Populace ; 
Leaves the iymphpnious Hovvlings of the- 

That Packs of Human Barkers may furround. 
And with more favage Harmony cry Sound! 

But hufti ! For lo ! a more than tuneful 
Enchants the Ear : A long and noble Train, 
Approaching, captivates my dazzled Eye, 
So bright, fcarce Morn fo brightly gilds the 

L Say, 

Digitized by 


88 The MOBIJD; or. 

Say, whofe the Tweadle-tweadlc fweet, who 

That the long bright Proccffion thiis compofe. 

In Order, as, with too impeded Speed, 

They their fuperior Chiefs-of-Rule precede* 

In prime j a fpruce yet formidable Clan 
Come marching, as the Civil Army^s Van, 
^/^i&/Conftables, well knowing of their Weight, 
And Title, once (r) imperial of Con^eeit* 
His Step each fortifies with Staff, full quaint 
With Decorations of refulgent Paint: 
As Trojans trufty, {$) with a righteous View 

Cull'd all to ad: impartial Jor the Blue. 


(r) Conftable being deriy'd from ifiwwf -liable, and from 
Koning comes the abbreviated. Title King. 

{$) With a righteous Fiew.j All the Gonftablcs arc of the 
Blue Party, as the Party afFe£te to be intitled. Their being 
thus cuird is a notable Inftance of Jufticc and Impartiality f 
And who Can fufpe£l an ill Caufe to be under-hand ferv'd 
thereby, lince Magiftrates of any Honour and Con(cience 
would deteft and fcorn any vile Management ? To be furc 
their candid and neighbourly Defign is only to* take the 
Trouble of keeping Peace, (^c. i^c. off the Hands of 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice.- 89 

Ho^ wife, how juft, the Projedl thus to bar 
Againft the Perils of unnatural Wzx I 
For when the wicked God of Fadlion finds 
An equal PowV plac'd with repugnant Minds, 
In Colleague Breads he kindles hoftile Spite, 
And goads the very Guards of Peace to fight : 
Whilft here's the fole Contention and the Pride, 
Wh6 beft can buftle on the rightful Side. 

But ~ foftly, MwsE : ^ That Leader ONE 
Who ftruts fuch an important (t) A per se* 

Of bonny Port, a-head the gallant reft. 
His tipp'd Battoon now ftay*d an-end on Breaft, 
Now in his Grip — (too dignify'd to wield 
A Peftle more !) — by the pois'd Middle held, 
L 2 With 

(/) A FER $£,] That is to fay an Ahy bimfitf; the Van- 
leader of the Alphabet, the headuig Letter, Jie very Jlpba^ 
the Prime of all the fubfequent ones* Chaucbr ufes the 
Phrafe, and it is a very fignificant one. I abhor no expre{<^ 
five Words for their bciog atttigm^ 

Digitized by 


90 ^be MOB IAD I or. 

With moft puiflant Sail their (u) chofen Chief 
Steers his rigg'd Pageantry of Manly Beef. 
What happy Union in his Eye we fee I 
Where Sweetnefs has efpous'd Ferocity ! 
Farts in his Frame Paris and Hector crave j 
Strong, .elegant, brifl?;, beautiful^ and br^ve. 

With lefsJDecorum Chriftmas Mummpr ftruts 

Than on He bears his goodly Grace of Guts, 

Though that fame Mummer (^x) England's 
Heroe plays. 

And Dragon,with his Whineard's Flouriffj flays, 


(u) Cyanits, al. George £, the Druggift, who gat to 
be the Captain Cmftaile b; bidding higheft for the Short Staff*, 
;ind procured it to be tipp'd at each End with Silver, his 
Name ehgrav'il thereon, with the Date of the Year. 

(x) Engbmd*s Hir9e.'\ St. George for England. At 
Chriftmas are (or at leaft very lately were) Fellows wont to 
go about from Houfe to Houfe in Exeter it mumming ; one 
pf whom, in a (borrowed) Holland Shjrt, moft gorgeoufly 
be-ribbon'd, over hisWaiftcoat, (sfc. flourifliing a Faulchion, 
yery valiantly entertains the admiring Spectators thus : 
*' Oh ! here comes I Siidt George, a Man of Cout-d^c bold, 
•« And witk my Spfear I wiftn'd three Crowns of Gold, 
f' i (lew thfe Dragbn, and brought htm to the Slaughter ; 
ff And by that very meant I married Sa^raj the beauteous 
. tf I^ing oflEgyft'% jpa^ghtcr. — Play Mafick." 

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Bdttk of the Voice. 91 

No Hamlet's Ghoft can more majeftic' hold 

His Truncheon, nor Stage-HANNiBAL io bold j 

Nor one of all the (y) Raggamufiian Guard 

Of South*nhay Fair more ftately bears the Tard. 

See I whilft aright wide-throated Franticks fhout. 

With nodded Thanks he chears the rafcal Rout; 

His Ruffle ihak*d encourages the Roar, r • 

° [o'er. 

And fmil'd Rewards his gracious Muns flood 

Next {z) Beadi-es (as in Packs of Cards be 
{a) Knaves, 

Two Couple juft) with Brazen-headed Staves, 


(y) Raggamvffian Guard.'} A 'F^r being held in our 
Southernhay Aug. i. a Parcel of moft be- tatter 'd Fellows, 
furnifliM with Truncheons, of about a Yard in Length (and 
therefrom, I fuppofe, dencwninatcd Yardf-men) are fwomto 
keep the Peace, &c. &c. &c. 

(%) Beadles.'] Thofe whohi we commonly call Staves 
hearers^ from the Staves with large brazen Heads which they 
carry in their Hands on Duty. Fn the Chriftmas Quarter 
they become Bell-men of the Night, and thump carefully 
and frightfully at our Doors, at every Turn repeating, in 
the moft abominable manner that can poffibly be conceived z, 
Bull-dog could by the Gift of Speech pronounce with a 
Flitit^ftone in his Moufb^ the md): wretched and hideous 
Rhymes ^er made by the viicft Devil of a PoeU See p. 83^ 

(n) Knavful or Gnaves, Tji^ Name originally means 


Digitized by 


92 "the MOB IAD I or. 

In tuck*d Blue Vcfts, and Bonnets Gbld of Brim, 

(What Turk's Head Sign ftarcs, tho' muftach*d, 
fo grim ? 

Whofe Brows o erwhelm'd with (b) Varlet 

Them fignalizq Journcymen-Juftices, 

March, throwing Looks of Magiftracy round. 

As if to menace Stocks, B^k^ate^ or Pound ; 

(Stocks for th* Unupright, or poor Swearer's 

And Pound for Hogs caught vagabond in Street; 

Where flarving oft' the Strollers wail, attacked 

By trading Juftice on the Vagrant A6t). 

The Staves they bear, -^ from whence Stavt'^ 
bearers we 

Them call,— are Staves of Vaflal Dignity j 

Not thofe which in black Winter Nights with 

From Reft us ftartle ~ but to learn the Clocks 


no worfe than mere Servants^ (thus in an old Tr^nibtioOt 
Paula knave ofjefus Chri/i)^ or Serjeants, Servimtis. 

(h) Variety perhaps, meant little more formerly thm <]o^ 
Vakt now. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice ^ 93 

Or feel tremendous Rhyme, in muipbling wife 

Croak'd horrible, our tingling Ears chaftife. 

When difmal Voice, and difmal Clink of Bell, 

Inflidt Good-Morrows with {c) Death, Judg- 
menf, Hell. 

Minftrels, in Cloaks, for Age how reverend ! 
From whofe grac'd Necks priz'd Silver Chains 

^"P""'^' [blow 

Come, whofe BafToon, Trump, and Recorders 

Exftatic Glee before the Grandee Show ; 

Whilft on each Side a Vocal Thunder peals. 

And far and wide the walking Pomp reveals j 

Crowds upon Crowds, as in capricious Trance, 
As if to ramm the ftarting Pavement dance. 

.. The 

(c) Death, iicl2 This refpeflsthefc their Verfes (wbicli 
indeed may be efteemM their beft) viz. 

" There is Four Things confider well, 

*' Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell; 

** Which if in Caufc you do negleft, 

*• Unquiet Reft you m;iy expert ; 

** Good-morrow Mr. Such an one (Thump !) &c. &c. &c. 
Though I am apt to fear that if in Caufe many among us 
did not negleft to confider of thefe Four Things, they would 
take lefs quiet Refl than ufually they tah. , 

Digitized by 


94 "Ibe MOBIjiDi or. 

The trampled Stones refound, and ev ry Door 
And Cafement rattle at the glad Uproar. 

So when fweet Orpheus ftruck the artful 
That eloquently warbled magic Words, 
A friiky Joy Bulls, Boars, and Bears poffefs'd. 
And Apes and Affes vy'd to caper beft; 
Dales, Hills, and Woods, and Rocks, and 

Dens around. 
Kept Time in Rapture at the quick mng Sound. 

In gorgeous Robes, and Hats fuperb of Lace, 
Four Serjeants follow, each with mighty Mace ; 
Not thofe dull {d) piteousToys which heretofore 
Hain, Oxenbere, Evans, and Staplehill 



(dj Toys."] They have now very handfome Maces. But 
their former ones were fuch pitiful Things as might defcrve 
Ridicule almoft as well as tlie Mace of Lydfordy dcfcrib'd 
by the old Poet Mr. Brown thus, 

• A Piece of Coral to the Mace, 

* Which there I faw to fcrve in Place, 

' Might make a good Child's Whiftle/ 
But ours, I confefs, might have been converted into toler- 
able Punch-Ladles. 

Digitized by 


battle of the Voice. ' 9^ 

Whofe hollow Knobs, and Stems minute and 


Shew'd as for Rattles made and Childrehs Sport, 
But crdwn'd, and to magnificent in Mode, 
They'd worthily Four Heralds Shoulders load^ 

Be-crown'd with Cap of an Umbrella's Size, 

Rich Velvet, richer in Embroideries, 

Comes burley He, who, as of Spades the King^ 

Bears Sword txt&. j — a fine and fearful Thing. 

Cou'd Duke inrob'd at Coronation e'er r- . 


With Gait more courtly the (e) Curt an a 
Or €ou*d a (f) Liftor's Ax and Fafees fpread, 
if drawn from its fair Scabbard, keener Dread ? 

Behind this Guardian Arniour-bearer pace 

The Pr^tor and his Peers, Brace after Brace} 

Ah I too opprefs*d to ambling fweep along 

Through the Ten-deep, clofe-thrufting, noify 

• M Though 

(if) Qirtima*'\ The unpointed Sword bome at Coronations* 
(f) Liaor* 5 Ax' and Fafees.^ Such were bome before tho 
Cohfiila and Emperors of antient Rome. 

Digitized by 


96 The MOB I AD I or. 

Though is with Buftle a ftreight Alley madej 
And pious Bowings own the dread Parade. 

Who, and how dignify 'd, grate Goodeis, fay 

The Sages of the Worfhipful Array : 

Say, has Lycurgus here affum'd the Gown, 

And Solon, Side by Side, took Rule in Town ? 

Say Muse. No : — Cautious of Conftrudion 

A trembling Veneration checks the Song, 

Nor She thofe Graces hopes to deck her Lays 

Which joined whilom in Sir John Adee's Praife, 

Whence Bays fo vaft foreftalling (g) Barret 

He hardly left a Leaf to browfe upon ; 

Who Phoebus* Son thrice told ! his own Work 

"^^^^ [rung; 

Whilft, hackling fawn, his Grumbler - Viol 


{g) Barret. 1 A FelloTHf who went about with a Bafe- 
Viol (though he never could play one Tune in his Life) on 
which he, as we may %, hacked and fa^'d?. grumbling 
graft Koiie, caliiag it pkofing Btffe* He ws^ (^e Aa^hor o£ 
the Ballad on Mr. Adee, who afium'd, in J^il€t> tbe Tide 
of Sir John Adfu See more in a fucceeding Note. - 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 97 

That ne'er fo gruff a Melody cou'd fpring 
From a Morifcan Bladder-and-a-String. 
Time-nicking Bard ! who with fuch cogent Eafe 
Could'ft the refined Tafte of Chamber pleafc ! 

Thus the like ruftic lucky Lays could bring 
On Pan the l^udful Judgment of a (b) King. 

That cbofen Band whom we the Vaward faw. 

The executive Potence of our Law, 

Entering the Roof of Juftice, Strife, and Storm, 

With ordered Staffs a Lane, detruding, form ; 

Which ere Chief-Rulers through can pene- 
trate, rr-, 

[Gate ; 

Th^ inipatient Million jaumbing choak the 

And there might ftick^ but that th' effedive 

Of backing Shovei^s clears th* obftru£ted Way. 

Rough Anarchy floods blundVing in amain. 

And furly Riot chafes pervcrfe to reign. 

M 2 Routs, 

(h) King.] Viz. Midas, who dccrcc'd die Prize to 
Pan, even againft the God of Mufick and PoeOy himieB> 
Apollo^ or Phobbv9* 

Digitized by 


98 Ihe MOBIAD, or, 

Houts, after Routs, *fore-ftumbling R©ut3 

Then to new Forcers yield the feized Space. 
The vaunting He6tors of athletic Frame, 

'VVhom does Epconian Speegh [i) Rumbulx-i an§ 

name, rr 

' ' [icorp 

Cleave with tempeftWs Drift the? Prefs, and 
To find a Paflage, fince to make it born. 

Like that bold (k) Keel which broke ftrong 

ViGo*s Boom, . rn 

[Room : 

Tl^e headlong Ruffians burft ^therpfelves a 

(/) Rumhullians,] V^e Exomans^ who have fome Words 
peculiar, I believe, to ourfelves, call furious, headftrong, 
headlong, boifterous Men, Rumbullian Fellows. 

(k) KeiL] Keel, as poetically does Carina in Latin, 
heretofore fignify'd a whole Ship. But wit^iout having 
Recourfe to fuch its old Meaning, or to a Figure in 
Khetorick, it is properly enough us'd in itsprefent Accep- 
tation of only Part of a Ship, The Exploit here referr'd to 
is in the Expedition at Vigo, in 1702, When Admiral Uop^ 
fofiy in thq Torbay.. catting his Cables, and clapping on all 
his Sails, bore up upon the Boom laid acrofs the Streight, 
fn^ brojce through it at once ; thpugh it was made up of 
Mafis, Yards, Cables, Top-Chains, and Cafks, feften'd 
jQgether with Ropes^ feveral .Yards bx Circumference, 
under-rui> with Haujjers and Cables, arid i?et)t fteady by 
Anchors taft on both Sides of it. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. . 99 

The Numbers, fwagging, on each Flank give 

way ; 
jFor Force muft over-bearing Force obey. 

ThuSi mid - way the Canal {l)y where 
Drudges flow . r^ 

To (tjn) Isca's Port Ship, Barque, .and Ligkjtgr 
With mafly Bars. Wights of herculean Brood 
Sluice-Fenders lift, to equalize the Flood 5 
O'er violent the eager Waters guih 
Through the fmall Opes, and onward roaring 

puili, "' 

Daih rapid on the flaky Banks, the Soil 1 

And Pebbles thenpe expel, high-froathing boil, 1 

And the whirl'd PQnd with mad Copteft im- j 

broil. j 


(I) Canqlf] There js a Faflage cut for Ships to and from 
Topfliain, vulgarly callM thcifoVw, corruptly^, or con- 
tracftedly, for Haven. The particular Place here meant is 
what we properly enough call the Double Loci. The De- 
fcription of the Water's violently gufliing thro' tb^.Slu|cq| 
&c. is precifely natural and juft. ' /,' ' 

{m) I/ca's Port.] The Kay of Exeter. 

Digitized by 


100 Ibe MOBIjiD; t>ry 

Butheark! That Bell which yells a fwift 

Alarm r 

[too warm, 

When {n) guilty Hearths inflame the Town 
Now, on the Guildhall's lofty Forehead fwings, 
And, quick, around its warnful Tinkle flings. 
Its Jingles to more clofe Attendance call 
Attending Freemen in th' interiour Hall. 

Up Stairs direct fair Ceremony leads 
Sedate to Confult the determined Heads : 
For wifls Sufpicion, hankVing near the Door, 
The Confuk's but of Things refolv*d before. 

But not behoves it our mean Muse to learn 

State Myfteries of fuch a high Concern. 

Let her, content, a furer Track purfue. 

And fing but Matters level with her View. 

^nd what though Tongues of Virulence may 
■ flirt 

Their low Afperfiona of malignant Dirtj 

.^ • . .V . , ' Short 

* (h) W^n Chitoncys af e bn fire, this Alarm Bell is rung ; 
and the Inhabitant of that Houfe whoib Chimney was In a 
Blaze, is to fuffcr a Finp. ^ v 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. loi 

Short of the Reach sire the foul Slanders jfaot, 
Scom'd and derided, nor at all befpot. 

So the firm Guildhall high ereds its Head, 
And, while Straw-Bonfires choaking Darknefs 

Its brifk Serene*s fcarce fuUy'd by the Cloud, 
Nor dreads the Rage of widen'd Gutter's Flood, 
Heedlefs fees wizzing Squibs and Crackers fly, 
And bids the Rocket's direr Bounce Defie. 

But worfliipful lafl Year's Triumvirate, 
The Leafh who aid the PR-ffiT0R*s Chair of 

Share his Fatigues of Law, nor let, 'tis faid. 
His Worihip ev'n at Dinner want their Aid, 
But help at taking Bowl as well as Bail, 
M /luffing Jerkins as at ftoffing Jail, 

Call'd Stewards now, but erji were Bailiffs 

Bfii CutGbpoles had the honeft Style defamM) 


Digitized by 


102 The MOBIADy ar, 

In fable Robes, which on the Shoulders x\i4 
In folemn fort, and ihape the Afpefl: wife, 
Prefide at Board below, — or haply treat. 
Their apt Ambition with the Judgment Seat* 

With Warrants ftampM on each officiousf 

StafF-Officers, too, ieize tb* internal Place : 

l"hick as the Darts which mounts the rorcu- 

Their Arms eredi with gilded Glory fhine, 

Nov«r Walnuts crackle *tweeii the Grinder 

And bufily engage the peeling Claws -$ 

While brifk the Glafs, with whittling Sherrts 

crown'd, ^ a 

[goes round ; 

Quips, Bams, and Bobs, and waggifh. Fraud, 
Jokes which did Isga pride in, when ^twas Wit 
To twirl the Hat, twitch Wig, or Knuckles hit| 
To tickle with a Straw, or fplafli your Shin, 
Diftart the Face, twick Ear, or thruft a Pin. 


Digitized by 


B(Utk of the Voku 103 

A Monkey fo by Mows and Friiks attefb 
Himfelf the Wit moft parlous of the Beads. 
But mod of Wit claims he who greatefl: Share 
Of Nuts can fcrabble, or of Bottle clean 

The chewing Bibbers ftrikc with envious 
The Routs behind^ who fuck their Lips in vain^ 
Unlefs fome noting Friend-in-Court beftow 
A Bumper,^— or for Kindnefs^ — or for Show^ 

Mean while thofe Courtiers^ thus at Banquet, 

Keep Time fymphonious with the outer Crowd, 
Whoi burning to the Strife, in Toil rejoice, 
Profufe of Sweat, and prodigal of Voice ; 
And as they mord imbibe the hoftile Jar, 
They thirft the more infatiatc of the Waf * 
Lefs, and lefs fuiious, fwells the mingled Roar, 
When Winds and Billows fjbrm at once the 


, N For 

Digitized by 


104 T^^ MOB IAD I or^ 

For Colour chiefly Ac Difputes abound. 
And Rants for die momentous Beft of Sound, 
Some for the Telltm hoarfly yell, and fbme 
Belch grofly Blue! — unknowing both for nsDhom. 

f A Moment now again to rooflefs Air, 
For more diftindt Infpedion, Muse ! repair; 
The baleful Fruits of rougher Strife exj^ore. 
Or young in Bud, 6r rotting-ripe at Core. 

Around pay'd Eyes fee fervent Rifings glow, 
Of Cafl; more various than the Show'ry-Bow 5 
And Teints of Or and Azure on the Cheeks, 
The Blue and Tellow, ftriving Hues, conmrii 
A fady Green, which Fert leara'd Heralds call. 
And Gules and Sables, Red znd Black, withal. 
See halting Legs fore to the Senfe proclaim 
Their Wrench by Wreftliogs, or by Spurns 

their Maim. 
Sec, fqualid Patches on the bunch'd Brows tell 
What knuckles have bangM up a motly Swell. 


Digitized by 


Battle oj the Voice. 105 

Sce^ clotty Stains, red, dribbled on the Clothes, 
Mark Civil Blood flied by uncivil Foes^ 
Whofe unbroke Buffet, or ill-warded Poach, 
The Temples fcarr'd, or fet the Nofe abroach. 

Survey that Tow'rof Flelh with fawcy Pride 

Grieving yond* Pillar with his leaning Side, 

As if an Ape of Sampson bent to move 

The Frontier Columns from their Charge above* 

What Name foe*r might his firfl Sponfbrs chufe. 

The licensed Verfe ftiall that of Carnage ufe. 

Referv'd of Voice, compact of Force, hcftands, 

Morofe & glum, with crofsM imbofbm'd Hands. 

His gloomy Looks ,affed a fterner Air 

Than Hogarth's {e) hack'd grim Swordfman 
in the Fair, 

And, glouting fcornful, with Defiance watch 

For fome Mob-A jax, fole a worthy Match 5 

Nor ovm him y^ ; but with difdainful Toes 

He mean-ti^ie fpuras approaching meaner Foes. 

N 3 So^ 

(0) See Southwark Fair by Hoc ART h« 


d by Google 

io6 ^tbe MOBIADi or, 

So» as the Bull at Stake like grimly ftands,^ 

And lours a Challenge to the Shamble-Bands, 

Stout duels all their brindled Maflives round. 

And cafts them, falling, to imprefs the Ground i 

Thougl> Thripe ally'd (hot on he'jd work to fliog. 

Beyond the S^egpard of thp partial Ring ; 

Yet fanghl?fs Whelps play'd yelping on hc'4 

Should feel the Credit of his chaft'ning Horn j 

But, while aloft adult Dogs whirling fly, 

He'4 fooj their (icfpipable Puppies by* 

Oh blind to Fate ! thou too prefuming *ftrong ! 
The deftinM Match, amid the inner Throng, 
Like arrogant, will foon the Lifts demand. 
And meet thy Vaunting withCorredion's Hand; 
With wringing Gripe Left-hand on Throat fhall 

' [maul. 

And th' heavier Right thy quacking Bofom 

Hence, haukipg ropy Blood, lame, blindj and 

fore, ., - 


Thy Mprrow*§ Grpans fjiall vapour'd Strength 


Digitized by 


Baftk of the Vdce. 107 

And in thy wallowed Bed be Solace vain 
That thy Foe, wch'ring, moans an equal Pab, 
Or that Time fitter may clear Stage allow» 
And HfRCULES lefs neuter to thy Vow : — 
For anxious Dread fhall rather plague thy Soul^ 
XiCft Bindings-over more thy Fift$ controul. 

Endcftbc jFmrtb Cantoi 


Digitized by 


io8 The MOB IAD; or, 


WHether the haughty Dcfpot of the 
{a) Air 

In flormy Ctbuds (till holds imperial Chair, 

Or in infernal Den awaits his Doom, 

Referv'd in {b) Everlafting Chains of Gloom, 

Above our Soaring mounts, or too profound 

Lies for the Plummet of our Gucfs to found. 

To Clerks more vers'd in Lore abftrufe we leave 

Full Proofs on either Side— or both — to weave. 


(a} The Air.} . According to Ephes. it. 2. 7he Princi 
of the Power of the Air^ the. Spirii'thaf mw worketb in the 
Children of Difobedience. See alfo Hiftoty of the Devil. 

(b) Everlajling Chains^ &c.] According to Jui>E, ver. 6. 
7he Angels which kept not their firji Eftate^ but left their 
own Habitation^ he hath referved in Everlajiing Chains 
under Darknefs^ unto the Judgment of the great Day.-^ 
II. Peter it. 4. Cajf them down to Helly and delivered iat^ 
Chains of Darknefs^ to be refervfd unto Ju^gmmt. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 109 

Too well wc knciw, though we too rarely muid» 

His {c) Angels here too frank Reception find. 

When whifp'ring fly Temptation to the 

And twitching by the Paflions to be naught, 

(d) Not that, as in Old-time^ now Midnight 

Fiends roaring wake Folk to negle^ed Pray'rs. 

No longer are their Feet fpy'd cloven now. 

Nor lampy Eyes more broad than Saucers glow. 

No maudlin Bibbers, tho* they doubly view. 

In {e) Mary-Arches-Lane, by Glance aflcew. 

See Coffins opening, or White Shrouds to ftalk. 

Or Palls and Cloaks in black Proceffion walk. 

No flaihilig Coaches over Belhill rove. 

As if Salmoneus mimic Thunder drov^ 


(c) Jfigils.) R«ad Mat. xxv. 41. Rev. ^il 7^ g« 
This. xii. 5, &c. 

(d) Note, The feveral terrible Things in this Part of the 
Poem detailed were really reported, nay and believed, to 
have been feen, felt^ heard, and underftood, in Emter, 

(i) This Lane is one of the moft common Avenues to 
&e common Burial-Yard, viz. St. BARTHOLOMSvr's. 

Digitized by 


no ^ MOBJJDi or. 

Though empty (/) Cafks, by Rakes from 
Grocer's Door, 

Down tumbled rumbling, haply flartle morCi^ 

No Headk/s'Hor/e neighs AroUing Wench to 

Nor drives Boys, late out-ftaying, home — ta 

No Goblins fluggKh Sabbath-bfeaker roufe 

To hurry to the Churchy — fure Safety's Houfe. 

A Burglar, loadcri with new-plurider'd Pelf, ' 

Efpies no mortal Thing (g) worfe than himfelf. 

The Waits may now, in {b) blackeft Months 
go through 

Evn ihtfu/picious Clofe of Bartho'mew, 


(f) At the H^aJ of Bellhill lately lived a Grocer, who 
too oftei^ left empty Hogfheads all Night at his Door, at 
but a narrow Paflage. 

(i) ff^wft^Hc. ] Thofe who, on hearing Talcs of 
Walking Devils, &c. in Exeter, wouM fignify that they' 
for their Parts never beheld any fuch, ufe to exprefs them- 
felves thus: — 1 thank God^ Pve gone all Hours of the Nighty 
in many fufpicious Places^ and yei mverfawony Thing worjo 
than my f elf. 

(h) Blackeft Month.) They have or had a Notion that irt 
the black Month (as they call it when the Days are at the 
ihorteft) the Devils are the moft privileged to roam about^ 


Digitized by 


^aitie of the Void, ifi 

Kttr by that Calvary hear difmal Groan 

But difmal that from fnuffling Courtai blown, 

Nor (/) Southgates Porter now lets in a Mift 

At Night's dark Noon whom woa'd he hit to 

£v*n in Church-l^orciies — . ( Antient Gran-* 
dams told)— 

Ifl Winter Nights lewd Mof nlo*s, — horrid bold ! 

3y us BuUbeggars bight^ were yelling heard. 

And dev^lifli Rackets in the facr^d Yard. 

Then {k) yack-in-Lanterti fooling would miflead 

Through Bog and Brake: the Sot's benighted 


O Sprights 

and play their devililb Tricks; whereby the fercriading 
.Waits, in their nightly Walks, ,us*d very particularly to be 
ifrightenM, and to fcamper offl Thof<i are cali'd fujpiciiu$ 
Places where People had hangM themfelves, died fuddenly, 
&c. Churches, and Church-yards, and empty Houfes, uic 
here to be ^allM fujpicims Places. 

(i) I remeteiber it was reported, and believed, that, 
during the Porterihip of Old Mr. Nichols at S, GaU^ 
the Devil in Shape of a fine Gentlewoman us'd to give a 
fmgle Knock, juft after Twelve o' Clock at Night, and 
was let in conif antly by bim* 

(i) ydei-in^Lanfem^ the fame as mU-^tth-a-Wifp i 
tbe ignis fatuus* 

Digitized by 


112 7be MOBlADi or^ 

Sprights were as frqquent in void Hoi\fes then 

As were in lonely Lanes grim (/) Gagger^men^ 

Then frighted Candles gave, by flamihg blue. 

The fure Oftent Ibmc Ghoft's Approaqh to rac j 

Down went the Cards, though Trumps, for 

Satan^s Booksy 

And each beheld a Ghoft — in t*other*s Looks. 

Then in the Streets dead Scavengers wou'd 

As natVal Wheelbarrows as when alive. 

In Meadows then, by Mcbnfhine, frilky Elves 

In Circlets, handing, tripp'd to breathe them- 
felves 5 

* And where their petty Toes went feady round. 

More .floric? Pafture dignify *d the Ground : 

To Nurfe a^dream then wou*d they dealing 

And foftly draw her Bantlin from her Side, 


(I) G^ggermm.) So we ufed to call Plagiaries, JCidnap- 
pen, or Bov-ftealers, from the Ga^s they are reported to 
ckp in the .Cbildrens Mouths whom diey have fpifi^^^ 

Digitized by 



Battle of the Voice. 113 

And in its ftead flip a young Fairy Brat, 1 

Thrice taller than themfelvcs, more grofs, I 
and pat 

As Ukci as if Twin-Blrother born to that. 

Then Puck — (or Gpodfellow) — from 
Room to Room 

HurrdConjb, Cowl, Shoe^ Trowfers, Beads, 
Ladle, Broom ; 

And when wou'd fumbling Beldams Pitcher fill. 

Joggling their withered Arms the Ale he'd fpill 5 

Nay, oft* overturn the Chamber's needful Vafe, 

And with foul Deluge ill-perfume the Place j 

Sometimes long Grafs o*er Paths in Knots he*d 

•"' [fly. 

And upwards make DoLt Milkmaid's Trotters 

But now they're banifh'd quite, nor big as Eft 
One to be lafh'd by («) Demogorgon left. 
Not Oberon returns j nor Mab his Queen 
By Cynthia*s and by Colun's Eyesisfeen. 
O a Wc 

{m) Dmogorg$n.) ' Sec J)ryden*« Fable of 735^ FUmtr 
and thi Liaf. 

Digitized by 


11^ The M OBI AD} pr. 

We not their pootfteps fe^rch; But whcn.w« 

The Graffy Ringlets fhine of greener Hue, 
Conclu4e we Compoft, for Manuring brought, 

With richer Juice the bordVing Verdur? 
wrought. ^^^^^ 

/rj?c Fiends whigh on^p did frightful Rputiags 
In Porches, now turn but-|hut Dogs afleep, 

Hence the pld flaraing Sprights prove Glow^ 

worms novy. 
And Guttur Glyppfes Whitens Heads we know. 

Hence Deatl>-w?it(;hcs, Y^Jiich often flew the 

Are now found Infeds of a harmlefs Click* 

Hence fkittVing Rats VP R^ts^ whflfe Squeaks 
not fcare 

With Fairy Talk the fuckling Nurfc's Ear. 

To Manhood hence Exonian Mothers bring 

Ten Politicans ere one {n} Cban-geJing. 


(«) CbangiUng.) Many vulgar People here in the Pro^ 
nunciation of the Word nxakc it confift of TJirec SyUabl^j^ 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 1 1 c 

HeoceY^j Maurus native Wit retains; and 

Shrewd {p) Manlius preserves his Infant Senfe. 

Hence qualifyM is Boy-Trick B— gham found 

To mate {q) His Honour^ and difcourfe his 

Hence H-ck^-k^ manly wife^ though maidly 

Hath fav'd his own^ with Senatorian Air^ 

To {r)fecond each great Motion of the May'r. 

If then, ev*n Fairies have refign'd their Balls, 

AflQpjblies, Rings, Maflcs, Wakes, and Feftivals, 


Old Acheron's mere Dotards^ futely, wou d 

Bo-peeping, tcxxiiy \x% to be good. 

What Tempers worthy of the Style wou*d gin 

Our Hearts by Methods that deter from Sin ! 

No J the oft* bilk'd Enticers, grown more wife. 

Now drcfs up lovely in chousM Mortals Eyes, 


, (0 Will, (fi) Johk. (j) Hmmr.} Sir H. N-^bcti. 
(r) Second.'] This finical and auguft Cbamber^man, on 
the Mayor's propofuig a Matter in Council, is prompt to 
be the firft to back him, with his «- Mr. Mayor! IJicon^ 

Digitized by 


i2& ne MOB IAD I or, 

Arti luit with Calls inchanting as the Air 
Of Farinelli in a Theatre. 
Hence, (though with Witch anij Sorcerer by Ad; 
Of Senate be cut off each y^rwVCompaft) 
They with unwitting 'Souls gain fnug Abodel 
And, to mifguide us from the (j) Gofpel Road, > 
Attempt to perfonate Envoys of G O Dt j 

Some thfey in P^nk\ or Puncb-bowH^ Shape 

In P^lf^ Fbrhi fdme, and feme of E(juipage. 

Some whhrffejgift P^ and "Jitk in they draw, 

Sonie to make Equity unjdft-^by Jjatio. 

No few they urge in Aid of 7rutb to //>, 

Some to take Peevi/bm^Mot Piety. 

Th^y 'others tempt to make Eledion fure 

By fdrmalMein; ftiff-Neck, and Cheeks 

dfenlure/ - , 


Thick - cr jwding Shoals intd their Nets they 
By:AGi%irmfiortit (ot:Reli^4onh fikfe. 


(s) Cofpel.1 The Etymon is QotPs Spill, ox God's Word. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. jrijr 

Who C&mVy sDefciS o*cr-pgy yvith, Cr^^ir, 
While warplefs Faith attoncs for trqoked Deeds. 

Whole Caravans of wou'd-look Saints they 

win, * ru » o- 

[hours Sm^ 

Who fpare their own, and lafti their Neigh- 
Or ftrive with PrayV an evil Caufe to prop. 
And thank in Pew for fraudful Gain in Shop. 
S^ome Profligates they trick by fingle Hojie 
To keep from going down, when yielding up 

the Ghoft : 
Some to ken Heav'n for Reprobates fly ope, 
StowM fafe in hallow'd Soil with certain Hope» 
Some they infiiare Mif duty to purfue 
By chrift ning one, and choufing t other {t) Jew. 
Some they teach fpiteful Kindnefs, who abate 
To lefs than Itjoppence on the Pauper^Kzi^^ 
For Amputation of the Votes of fuch 
As polled for Forty-Men amifs too much.^ 


Digitized by 


ii8 The MOBIADi cr^ 

In Portugal, the Choler of the Prieft 
They to imprilon, rack, and burn, aflift. 

And play the Devil in the' Name of Chrift. J 

But they im)ifible bear thus the Prize, 

Or mafquerading in a Ipecious Guife j 

Who would be flaunn d, were their Complexi* 
onsM • ^^^^ 

Nor hid their 7ailsy Claws^ JtornSj and Cloven 

Or from their Throats blue-flaming Belch^; 


And Npftrils fnorted a fulphureous Smoke, 

Yet, would we imp with pilfer'd Plumes 

our Wings, 

Like fome, to foar fublime at flighty Things^ 
We, by Imagination^ might repair j. . . 

Old (u) Pandemonium, or build new in th' 
And, fummonM, there, in hellilhPomp convene 

Wrath's iiery Demons, and ihofe Fiends of 



(u) Pat^dfmomum. See Miltom. Like as Panthkom 
mdsns a fidl AfFentbly of die Oocfs, fo Pandmortium fignir 
lies that of a]l the Devils. 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. * 1 19 

Which fa&ious Solym a in Siege fo rued, 

Self-ruinM, by inteftine Strife fubdued : 

Where (while in State fit Demons of Com-^ 

Atid thick around the Goblin Commons Aand) 

Might His grim Majefty of Sin harangue, 

As in Miltonian Mode^ his Va0ai Gang. 

Then might a Poffe of Hell's Rabble ply 

Their fmutty WingSj ind to Exonia fly; 

And in the Blood of hef ferocious Hofts, 

The Stygian Legions take their deflin*d Pofts. 

Vadls tofhinel 
decline, > 

ring Lin<5. J 

But as the Must; in beaten Tradls to fhine'' 
Difdains, (he wou'd Machinery decline. 
Proud to have iprung of no afpiring 
Nor needs (he an exotic Rage afcribe 
To goad a born-and-bred-to Fury Tribci 
Whom if to line fuch bellijh Mobbers ftrovc. 
They might themfelves in Belial ABs improve. 

Suffice it, then, tofay^ their Earthly Kin 
Chafe ,as if did a Legion fume v?ithin : 

P Their 

Digitized by 


lao 7»f MOBIADi or. 

Their own Erynnis, to the Muse confeft. 
More fires the Brain, more ftimulates the Bread. 


For we already have digrefs'd too long. 
And ought refume the interrupted Song. 

Muse ! teach me Notes adapted to rehearfe 
Strife rais'd to Tempeft in congruent Verfe! 
And fafely fuch bold Hurricane to form. 
Curb Thou its Fury, and control the Storm j 
Yet whatfoever Pitch the Numbers fly. 
Let fmiling Humour ftill accompany. 

Count it thfe Inftant when Ned's Face oTire 
To five Hours Cooling leaves the heated Quire, 
And, with z Back -Lane Cogue 'new-fucFd, 

Through Eastoate, redder then an Aulir^an 
Then, turn d from London-Inn towMs Li* 


Makes Paris-street to dread a flaming Coal, 


Fivt Hourty &c.] That is between Prayer and Prayer 
Time, from Eleven till Four. 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 121 

That each poor Dweller, anxious, eyes his 

Left reaching Sparks (z) new Conflagrations 

Mean- while Throat-Battle rages; Party Cant 
Mingles its foul Antiphone of Rant : 
The Babel Clamours, varying, around. 
Thus plainly, with confused Diftindion, found: 

• Blue /—Yellow !— Sound for HADj>y !— Sound 

for Heath ! r. T^ ^i # 

[to Death! 

« H-a-b! 5i-/jci/— Sound for Yellow— J5/«tf 

* The Church jor ever / -^ Down with Perkin's 

No Courtiers! — No Mock Patriots ! — Sound 
And not a Mouth but what, expanded large. 

Does thrice a Threefcore Times its Load dif* 

charge ; 

And Rogue ! and Dog ! and Rafcal! and Tbu lie! 
At ev'ry Turn ailift the ftriving Cry. 

P 2 Dreadful 

(z) New Conflagrations'] Great Part of Paris-ftrct hal- 
ving fome Years fincc been on fire on both Sides the Way^ 
and the Houfes being, nearl/ all, Thatched* 

Digitized by 


123 ^e MOB IAD i or^ 

Dreadful Ado ! Ere claffi'd cncounterM Swordg 
To match fuch combating Hodgepodge qf 

Words ? 
Were in Old Chaos the like Garboils found. 
Or Jargon Brunts of fo embattled Sound ? 

Scarce more fonorous In their turbid Cave 

Heard Maro's Muse contending Tempcfts 

Like waving Reeds, v^hen Gufts in Auguft vex. 
Near iowmoft Sluice, the oozy Fens of Exi, 
The brabbling Multitude, amid their Cry, 

Flag where o'erwhelm^, and with the Tide 

If were an antick World of Franticks pent. 
To dance the hay, in wild Vagary, bent. 
Scarce could the refUefs Bedlams, winding, pace 
Such tangled odd Viciffitudc of Place : 

Nor were they changed in Brain to Wolves, 
they'd grin 

To bark fo harfh, fo liorrible, a Din. 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 123 

*Tis Blifs, they deem, diftrading tofs'd, to rowl j 
And fouleil Pudder recreates their Soul* 

So when rough ^Solus's bluft'ring Train 

To foamy Mountains blow the Fluid Plain, 

Tumult'ous (a) FiJb^Hogs tumbling Tricks 

Aid the Waves Uproar, and enjoy the StormJ 

Scarce ever Sheriff's Subftitute cou'd fee 

Such rampant BickVings fhake our Heavy-^ree^^ 

Where, with authoritative Pikes of Afli, 

Bailiffs the Head-defending Cudgels thrafh. 

Ne'er did fugh petulant Corifufion rage, 

la Weftgate-Quarter on (b) Whit-Monday's 
Stage ; 

Where bumping Thwacks and the Wail-rai- 
fmg Drub 

With vaunted Glory Blockhead-Heroes dub. 


ftf) The Porpoifcs, or Porcu-pifces. 

(b) Every fFha-Monday there h in this Place credcd 
a Stage for Cudgd- playing, &c. round about which, as 
Wen as on it, are ufiudly moft terrible Doings. 

Digitized by 


124 7be MOBJjiDi or, 

Till Pates, fad Turn of War ! in dripping Flood, 
Aiham'd, give forth the honourable Blood. 
Scarce feels our Clime more of Perdition full 
At z,(cj Pratorian Beating of the Bull, 

When Their fage Worfliips the Town-Pails 

allow r I 


Colds, Fevers, Deaths, in chilling Streams, to 

Elbovvs on Chefts repay from Elbows Grief, 

And ftamp*d-on Feet by trampling feek Relief, 

Eyes, by flapped Hat, with briny Rheum ftruck 

By like Infliftion try a Cure to find. 

Bums butting ftickle J Hips, and dafhing Knees, 

And rubbing Ankles, fore delighted, teaze. 


(c) Pratman BulUiaittng.'] About Three Weeks after 
the Election of a new Mayor, a Bull ufes to be brought and 
baited before his Door: At Which Time the moft fcandalous 
Abufes are pra£lifed with Impunity, yea Applaufe, by ruffi- 
an Butchers, &c. throwing Water, dipt up from the very 
Kennel, &c, on all Perfons chey can meet with, even in their 
own Houfes. The Leathern City- Buckets, prepared for cx- 
tinguifhing Fires, are lent to them from the very Guild- 
hall for the vile Purpofe. Rare Doings at Bath ! [7%tf 

throwing ofWt^tr has ktinjorfmai Tears dijM$*d*^ 1770.3 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice^ 125 

Perukes, now timely njade the Pocket's Care, 

Leave, apter to throw Knock, (hav'd Sconces 

Nor ftays exposed (what Place of Wig fupplys) 

The worfted Cap, diftind with curious Dyes, 

Though {c) Iris dipp'd the Woof not, clam- 
my wet, 

And (hiniiig with the Pate's hcJt Spring of Sweat, 
From off the Neck's hawVd Handkerchief, or 

To fave from Throttle by a coU'ring Shock* 
The Shirt difbutton'd fpreads its Bofom wide. 
Or ShaiSi,— worn clean — no cleaneft Shirt to 

' [defend. 

Yet Gripes, ev'n where broad Shoulder-flays 

Shall hideous Chafms in ftouteft Dowlafs rend. 

Nor Veft of Drugget moft robuft (ball fcapc,* 

Nor Coat of Iron Kerfey, though with Cape 

Enormous fortify*d, a ghaftly Width to gape.^ 


(e) Iris.) ADuding to Milton's «< Iris dipp'd tbe 
Woof. " 

Digitized by 


126 the MOBIADi 4>ri 

Woe were the Spot, where>— chewing Cuds 

^^^P"''' [Smite. 

Fell Champions, met, renewed the Knuckle- 
There Gibbons, bulky Bolt,, tough Tan-t 
NER., Fry, 

Foot, Hooper, AsHtEV, Twiggs, mig^t 
boxing die. 

And cryftal Isca reek,— a ruby Flood ! 

And more than the {d) Adonis run with Blood, 

If fworn Authority, alert at hand, 

StaiFinterpofc not, and the Peace command f 

Yet, maugre all '**- piqued Braves in flufter'd 


Prick'd jealous on by Luft of Fame, or Hate, 
And, prompted each by his fomicnting CUo, 
Strain brutal Force to provQ the Better Mao* 


(d) Jdonis.} A remarkable River, near Byihs in Pbasm* 
ctOy at certain Seafons, and on fome Occallons, appeari 
as if bloody, fuppos'd (fays Milton) with the Blood of 
Thammuz, yearly wounded. But the faid Phoenomenon 
was long ago declared to be occafion'd by a kind oi Minium 
or Red Earthy which the River brou^t away^ wben^fweli'd 
tb unufual Heights. 

Digitized by 


Bdiik of the Voiii, J25 

For Dareman— (of morq overweening Pride 


Than {e) Gath's Huge Knight, who Israel's 

Than whofe hone of the pifturM Caesars e'er 

Such Jolt-Head did, or Eyes more flaring, bear^ 

Firm-fet, and riot of Stature high ; full grim 

His rough-rhewn A(pe(ft j of ftupcndous Limb, 

And Flefh all callous)— Dareman thus aloud 

Provokes to Single^Loggerhcad the Crowd : 

^ f^roduce a Man^ ye Scolders of the Blue^ 
^ If Men Wou'd harbour with your beftial Crew, 
' With Me in Manhod Skill and Force to try, 

* While ftand both Armies joined Spectators by ! 

* And learn ye all from the Event how ^ar 

* Ye may hereafter venture folid War : -.„ 

^ [Boys, 

* Bold though ye dare, by Females help'd and 

* To form Attack with Blufterings and Noife: 

* His Groans repentant (hall foon caufe to know, 
f Tis ours to vanquifli with efFcdtive Blow/ 

(^ He 

(e) GatVs Kniibt.} GoLiAH of Gatby a Giant 

Digitized by 


126 The MOBIADi cr. 

He faid, clench'd hard his ma^ Fift, and itruck 
Ten mighty Whcrrcts with one fighting Look. 

Promifc ous Clamours differently rife. 

Some to explode, fome to carefs and praife : 

But " Sound for Haddy !" and fcarce checkM 
« Huzzahs! 

So loud prevail from the proud Telhws javrs, 

That louring Blues^ abafh'd, a while keep in 

Their (f) Stink- Word, and fcarce dare a Hd! 
to grin. 

But fb not long : For murmur'd Talk around 

The irritating Challenger refound: 

^' Thus has the braving Bully done^ thus fpoke : 

<c Whs^t! no Man dare rebuke him with a 


" No Match within ?— Fly, fly, and bruit afar 

" Th' Affront among the doughtier Chicfe of 

But Fame, induftr'ous with her Trump, before 

More fleetly the diffufive Tidings bore. 

(f) Vw.. Sb-tfack, 

Digitized by 


Battk (ff the Voice. 127 

And {£) Ate, in Long*Phill's diffembled 

In Carnage blew of burning Ire a Storm : 

^^ Hafte, Thou Dependance of our grateful 

•* And teach the faucy Tellows how to boaft : 

^* But Dareman, if unadtive here thou (lay. 

From thee conveys the ufefiil Dread away. 

Break thundVing in. — See j where the Brag- 
gard ftands. 

And proudly brandiihes provoking Hands, 

** With Purpofe thee of Glory to beguile, 

^* And brand thee with a Coward Lubber's 
^* Style/* 

fjb) She fpoke, and clapp*d his Loins. Her 
coaxing Breath 

Infpires a Yovr^^^Witbin an Jncb cf Death 

Qj2 To 

{g) At 1 3. The Devil of a Goddefs, viz. of Ragp, Dif- 
cord. Revenge, Havock, &c. — [blew in 1770.. / W/ 
TMally forgot thi BuUitt Kames wbUb Long^PhiU and Carnage 
flood for, 1 

(h) Shi.} That is. Ate in the Difguifc of LoNa 


Digitized by 


128 the MOBIJDi or. 

To facrifice to Great Revenge, on Foes, 
Whole Hecatonibs of Bofom-bafting Blows. 
At once a fudden Clap of dreadful Roar 
Burfts expeditious through rfie Archy Door } 
For^ compafsM with a Rout of Boutefeus, 
A Rout of rug^edeft deep-voiced Blues, 
And dripping as he comes, the bulky Wight 
Tow'rs, pftentatious of his Shoulders Height, 
The wifli'd Qccafion feizing; Flfim'd his Eyes 
At onpe fight, conquer, triumph, tyrannifc, 
Sampson is fiing (i) lefs confident in Wrath 
Addrefs'4 to pomqiel Harapha of Gatp, 

As when Two warring Ships crowd fajl to 

A marine Duel, with proportioned Rage, 
Broadfides exchanged their furly Greetings throw, 
Ere grappled they their boarding Prowefs (how. 
So thefe, reciprocal, thdr Vollles dire ' 
Qf Maledidion, ere the Clofure, fire, 

fl) J^f^Ht vi?^. In Mi|.ton's Sawffm Agmfttw 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 129 

And with a belch*d-out miflUe Fury warm 
Defiance to defy, and Arm meet Arm. 

Where^ wbere'^s the Scoundrel t eager Carnage 

cries. - ,. 


'^ Here, Rafcal, here, mov'd Dareman bold 
?llrqfcal Tbee, tbou Dog! rejoin'd the firft, 
"Villain, come on/' thelaft adds, and be curft. 
Choler no farther Parle allows ; and Space 
For Adion made would longer Parle difgrace. 
But, (hooting prone both with collected Might, 
Their obvbus Bulks conmience fubftantial Fight: 
Each Lcfthand's Clutches tug^ng gralp a Foe, 
And Ri^hthands qlos'd redouble Blow for Blow. 

So when grim Mulciber, for Jove his Sire, 
Laborious forged the forky Bolts of Fire, 
Tenacious one the wizzing Steel did guide, 
The ftrongcr Arm the ponderous Hammer ply'd. 

The clubby Flfts on Teeth & Trunk refound. 

And feem the Brawn with mortal Thumps to 



Digitized by > 

igo, Ibe MOBIADv or^ 

Chcfts bruifen jair, the Ribs as fhatter'd craffi. 
And bleeding Jawbones clatter, every Dafh. 
Each like (k) Epeus aims deftrudlive Pains, 
And firm. as an Euryolus fuftains. 
Both as. (/) Entellus Bang with Bang requite. 
And hard as Dar^s bear the falling Weight. 
Head againft Head their ftunning Efforts knock, 
Like Rams at Duel for the Female Flock ; 
Nor Arm will more Neck at Advantage fparc 
Than would aHocKLEY'sMaftiff-huggingBear. 
But Legs in-lock'd Antagonift to throw 
Oblige that hard Advantage to forego* 
The Head retrieved, loft Moments to redeeoa 
Of iham'd Inadion, wa{h*d by Nofe a-ftream, 
Leaps up ckftic, and Rcprifal draws 
Of fcurvy Blood leak'd from the loofenM Jaws. 


f«tj Epeus and EuRYOLirs.] Names of Two ftout 
Combatants at the Fyqeral Gfunes ^ PATROCI.y& vx 
HoM£R*s Iliad, 23. 

(/) ^T£xxus and Pares.] Xbje Two jCb^pipns al 
the Games in honourary Memory of Anchise^ in VirO. 
-ffiaeid. 5. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. iji 

Surrounding Routs exdaitn iinore Space to 



And wheelj a living Amphitheatre, 

Whilft ibme behind the circling Tumult ipri()g 

By Fits to overlook the buftling Ring« 

By Wagers fome their Wifhes would fupport j 

Some gnarr to fright, and Courage fome exhort ; 

And partial Sidings to moleft or aid. 

Which multiply the Combat, are aflayM. 

Soon fpuf ting Nollrils wouM dye red the Floor 
With Inundations, mixt, of factious Gore, 
If ftill remifs of fwagg'ring Duty lay 
The Sons of {m) Themis of fubaltern Sway; 
Or niggard prov'd of Breath and fwelter'd 

In troublous Domineering for the Peace. 
But foon thdr HighnefTes, whofe huffie Lift 
Cauj arbitrary, bid the World affift^ 


(m) Thbmis]. The Goddeft of Jufticc« Hiefe her 
Ujiderling Sons mean the Cjnfliibles. 

Digitized by 


1^2 ^be MOBlADi of^ 

Alarm'd at fuch bold Neighbourhood, of War,' 
With ftretching Necks up ftart within the Bar; 
When tlius (n) Cyani/s, by officious Words 
To fire his Troop to Adioni Speech affords :— 

** Compeers in Poft ! — Do thus our Palms 
" retain 

" Thefe dread Infignia of our high Domain, 

*^ Staffs of Controul, which legally fetch down 

" All who not own in Proocf US the Crown ? 

" And in the Prcfence, in Our very Coqrt, 

" Shdll Sb--facks of Infurgency make fport ? 

" I fay,-: Before Us, ^ US, whpfe awfol Word 

" Mars ought obey, and drop his lifted Swprd, 

*' (Mars, in the Qarb offconcing Grenadier, 

" Who'd (o) Tall ranked with Tall Prussia 
Guards appear) 

" His 

{n) George Comings. ^ See before, page • The 
Cyanm properly is the Flower called the hbi$ Corn-bottle, and 
which our Country- People namcPretty^Jobns^ 

(o) The King of Pruffia's Delight in very tall IVf en for 
his Body Guwd is, not unknown. ^[Ti^ lato King^ Father 
of the pnfint^ is me^ni. 1770.] 

Digitized by 


Battk ef the Voicu 133 

*« His Sword, though for a captiv'd TruH 

** Or to retakd Habiliments from Pawn ; 
^^ Shall Slaves of Orange Badge, fo hetVodox ! 
*• With ours thus interchange pugnacious 


^^ Nor WE, on Whom dares rife no bdtt^rin^ 

" Or cv'n a Finger fear ajfaulting Point, 

^' Fall in, chafiizing, aiid Big-ton^d declare, 

« With Magifterial Vifage, WHO WE ARE ? 

\[ Go to, then; let our brandifliM Arms 

maintain ' ' 

*' US notfekSf to bear tiiofe Arnis in vain,*' 

He fai<L His Mates of Dignity unite ' 
To fpring upon the fueling Crowd in Fight, 
Together huddling, fome from off the Bench, 
Each with imperious Standard jin his Clench, 
And back by their arretted Collars hawl 
The Outer Orbits, as for bailefs Thrall $ 

R And 

Digitized by 


134 73&^ MOB IAD y or, 

And with fierce Features, in a Thunder's Tone^ 

Cry, " Keep the Peace ! WE reprefcnt the 

Their dreadful Charge the inmoft Circles hear, 

Refign the Battle, and to Paflage clear : 

For yOFE lends off to pAW terrific Grace, 

And (hakes his JEois in a Rebel Face. 

The Duelifts (though Pride difowns Enough, 
Howe'er bray'd Jelly, of the martial Cuff) 
Permit to break their pertinacious Fangs, 
And fuffer Shelter *mid their friendly Gangs. 

So (J>) when the Trojans, forward in the 

■ ^"* [Life. 

For claim'd Patroclus, fpoil'd of Arms and 

Heard, from the Rampart by Pelides trod. 
Tremendous as of fome dcftroying God, 
His ireful Call, the Valiant felt Difmay, 
And even Priam's braveft Sons gave way. 

(P) Whm tbt Tnjans.) See Hom, II, lib. i8. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. J35 

Our fevcr'd Heroes, fmcat'd widi Muck and 


Baulk'd Anger folace with Revenge in Store ; 

And, lugg'd indignant each a diverfe Way, — 

Drink,--hauk,—drink,--fwcar,— drink,— brag a 
Juture Fray I 

From the fwoln Face half wipe the bloody Dirt^ 

And Breeches repoffefs with Tails of Shirt, 

Difafters fad one guilty Wretch betide. 
Who dar'd,un-franchis*d, join the Yellow Side, 
And, that he might the bafting Fifts efchew 
Of an 'oer-matching anfl*^evengefu^ Blue, 
Had from the ope Piazza of the Hall 
Slunk in, where to repeat illegal Bawl: 
For, there detected foon, he's clafp'd by Xhroat, 
And charged with lawlefs bold Intent to vote ; 
And, With his Shirt, Skin, Hair, & Jerkin ragged. 
Is to {q) the temporary Baftille dragged. 

R 2 Somewhat 

{q) Temporary BafliUi,\ Vnatitcsll'i^t Back-Gate^ to 
which the Conftables arbitrarily, of their own Authority, 
commit, by Nig^t, or for a while. 

Digitized by 


136 ^ MO BIADy or. 

Somewhat the like j— (be (r)DoLESH Strand 
the Place) — 
When glutton Porpolfe fcares the PUchard Race j 
The watchful Fifliermen their Meflaes fpread. 
And ftrike the Shole with unexpedled Dread, 
Hauling the Scaly Refugees to Land, 
With Flutter vain to beat th' inthralling Sand. 

Slim'd o'er with Sweat now Clufters juftling 
To gafp Refrefhment in unprifon'd Breeze; 
Though as fome iffue forth, fome ftill arrive. 
Like Bees at Labour to ind from the Hive. 
Some to the (s) Tuns^ and fome to Inn refort 

Where hangs the whifker'd (t) Soldan of the 
Port ; 


(r) Doleflf.) A little Fifliing Town, 2 Miles from Teig^- 
mouth, 10 from Exitefj famous for fine Pilchards taken 

(5) Tuns.) The Three Tuns Inn, adjoining the Guild- 

(t) Soldan.) ITie Turk's I^cad Innj on t^othcx Side the 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 137 

Some where, in flaming Spice, witja golden 

The (u) Lonely Bird of fweet Arabia fwings; 

Thence to repair the Lafiitude of Lung, 

Throat clarify, and glibber oil the Tongue. 

When vengeful Greeks, as Homer's Strains 

«""• ' [inveft. 

Did ftifF-wiird Phryqians and old Troy 

Made Deities —(poetic Fleih and Blood)— 

Each Side aflifling, to the Combat f^od* 

(y) So now, dkigm^ diin liquid Sbapey they(fome) 

To the invoking Bands auxlliar come. 

{y) Ceres,— moft potentin her bearded Grains,-- 

With (^2;^TETHYsjoinM, whom f/i^ Vulcan •$ 

Aid fuftains, 


(»} Lonely Bird.) The Pbcenixlxm* This fabulous Bird, 
as pidured in the Sigh at the Door, is difplay'd in Gold, 
^burning in Spices, &c. 

(jf, yj z, tf, b^ e.) So now^ Jtifguis^dy &c,) Here is ven- 
tur'd an Allegory, by which under the Perfons or Names of 
Ceres^ Tetbys, and Vulcan^ is iignify'd AU ; the firft put for 
Barley or Malty the fecond for Water ^ and the laft for Fire j 
thp TiyQ latter being, abfobitely necefiary for making Barky 


Digitized by^ 


J38 Tie MOB IAD i or, 

* Gere&, the Solace and Support of Life, 

Invigorates with ftrongcr Voice the Strife -, 

Devon's (^) Pomona helps the Verbal Broil, 

Or cooper'd {c) Bacchus haps to reinforce the 

Now Entries flow hot with a Urine Sea ; 

Aiid rattling Walls think Water-Engins play. 

From whofe ftainM Corners divers f roathy Rills 

Shape Courfe in reeking Conflux o*cr the Hills ; 

In fuch quick Torrents the rank Streams com- 
bine, , ro • 


That ExE grows warm and brackifh with the 

And if well-ftation'd Millmen frugal were. 

They their embarrel'd Stock of Seg might fpare. 

Eels haply think the Tide does downward 

And feafon'd Trouts fear pickling while alive ; 


into Malt^ as well ^s for brewing afterwards. So Pwima 
is put for Qf^/r, and Bcuchm for Wim* 

(*) Ceres ] The Goddc&of Corn and Tillage. She is 
by a Metonymy us'd frequwitly inPoetry for Wheat, Barley^ 
Bread, &c« 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 13^ 

S^iz'd with Vertigo may the fuddled Dace 
Be feen to ramble on the River's Face 5 
Not with intoxicating Berries dos*d. 
But ftronger Fumes fwift from the P— fing-Poft. 

Libation made to Discord, and renew'd 1 

Spent Vigour,- they again, at Hall, intrude >• 

With rallied Hubbub, and reftore the Feud. J j 

As fiery Bulldogs, when their Shamble-Lords 

Slip from their urgent Necks reftraining Cords, 

Whofe well-provM Holders drip a foamy Gore, 

Spring furious at the Bull, tho* tam'd before, — 

So fiercely eager the chear'd Party bound, 

Ope-mouth*d, more inftant for the Conq'ring • 
Sound. \moijien'd¥oti 

Juft Dread ftrikes Silence through th' l/«- 

The roaring Hdlf-drunk with new Valour glow* 

Difhearted thofe fhrink to the Left and Rights 

Thefe, glory'ng, in the Centre brave the Fight* 

Yet Courage foon reanimates the Fray, 
For timely Aid huzzahs not far away. 


Digitized by 


140 Ibe MOBIADi ori 

Then breaks all-hideous on the vauntful Crew, 

And for theConqueft warms the vanquifli'dfcw. 

Lefs Rage the Myrmidons, on Ilion's Plains 

To favc the Navy, and avenge the Slain, 

, Urg'd— than impels the Succours to the Brawl: 

Nor flinch the Hardy of the adverfe Squawl. 

Not with fuperior Fury is purfued 

A Dog in Paflage near a feathered Brood, 

When with up-brirtled Plumes, and Quills a* 

The fcolding Hen, ope-bill'd, aflferts the Shed, 

Than what tranfports th* Aflailanfs to the 
Charge : 

Nor, grinning furly, with Jaws open large. 

The Growler on the plumed Herpin turns 

Like Ire as which each grim Defendant burns. 

Dire the revived Conteft ; The equal Routs 

Pelmell aim Havock with contending Shouts. 

Shoves repel Shoves, Breaft * Bulkings meet 

But woe the Shins not tann'd to Kicking-proof 1 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 139 

Vet what terrene (hall firm cxift for ay ? 
Lungs tho' of Brafs were fubjedl to Decay ; 
Snorts of gigantic Noftrils mufl, at kngtb. 
Own, in fiiort Pantings, a Decline of Strength. 
Too long, too high, the human Organs fprain*d 
Crack, — as in th* Adage Bow too much con- 

But though, at, lengthy maira'd Voices barely 

^^^^ ^ ' [provoke. 

And ev'n cra^'d Murmurs flrangling Coughs 

Yet faultVing Grumbles mutter harfh the Cry, 

And widened Mouths mutely a Roar imply : 

RefolvM, in loft Refort^ to win Regard, 

Like Cocks, and Villains hang d, by dyingbard. 

So, at old Chevy,— {fin oldBardling tells s 
I'bougb fmird at by our modern Lifideh)^^ 
When lopping Sword, by nether Chop, has won 
The Pedeftals of ftrenuous Withrington, 
Though Lofs of Blood his lower Stroke im-1 

pairs, [rears,! 

On Stumps, — ibe heft be may^ — he Faulchion > 
And, to laft Gafp, defcending Backfwordi 



End of tbe Fifth Canto. 


Digitized by 


140 the MOBJjiDi or, 


' I ^ H E Vocal Ammunition fpcnt, witbin, 

-*• A while, furbatcd, flinch'd the Rage of 

And but thin Parties, mazy, here and there, 

Without^ light Ikirmifliing with Habs / pickeer: 

Tho*^///*s deny'd, yet bought Refedion drains 

ParchM Legions, panting, from the hot Cam- 

And though mixt Numbers ftand opposed their 

Ground, r , 

I wound J 

Battle, ftruck boarfe, ftrives but with Lours to 
Or, folitary, a rare random. Cryi^ 
Feebly affayM, pops difregarded by. 

But renovated Coil not long allows 

A mute Engagement of but hoftile Brows j 

For Hoftels divers, near adjacent, yield 

Late Invalids, recovered, to the Field ; 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 141 

With Effence arm'd of quick-reftoring Mault, 

More ftimulated to re-join Aflault^ 

And,— like fell Hounds from Tault rcclaim'd,— 

more ftrong 
To open^ as they rudely pufli along* 

Now, rallying the fcatter*d Routs of Blue^ 

Full by the Sconfe fuperior to the View, 

Ample his hairy Cheft, Ventoso ftands, 

A ftern Colofs, and waves his horny Hands, 

Demanding momentary Paufe ; and,-^large 

Expanding Jaws,— refufcitates the Charge : 

Ardor fuU-fcarlet kindles in his Face, 

Which, like a Comet, (hoots a threat ning Blaze; 

And thus, with well - ale'd Voice, prepared to 

twang K 
Rafli Defamation, — belches hoarfe Harangue ; 

« How ! Yield the Day ? Oh Shame ! oh 

»^Difgrace! [Race? 

^^ WE, ~ WE ~ the Day, - and to the Canter 

Who aim fchifmatically to trapan 

Our Cdtecbife with thpir Cbi^-End-(hMfln : 

Sz « A 




I4» "Tbe MOBIADi or, 

[^ A fqueamifli Crew, who'll tremble if We 

" Butr— in Damned-Lying take a tenfold Share ; 

" The CalfVHead.feaftedVillains, who deride 

f ^ Our Curje as caufelefs on the Martyr's Tide : 

** Who woud again our Church io Stable Xyix^t 

^* And jujl-made Surplices to Tinder burn, 

.^* As but old Smocks of BabyloN'S old 

Whore } rt> » 

* [row r J 

" Beat down the Te/iy and climb again to 

** Who at our npdding Crefls pf Oak-boughg 

^* And white Rofe from our very Bolbms tear : 

<' What! fhall We, daftardifs'd to Silence, fe?rn 

" To give the Vidlory of Voice to them ? 

*^ Again that malapert Sleeve-laughing Crew 

y In Mourning hang our {a\ Maud'len daub*4 

with Blue ? 

^' Which, 

(a) Mau4^% M^d JUmdlen^ or properly Magdaler^ 
Gallows, the Execution Tree for High Treafon,- Felonies,^ 
&c. committed within the County or Qtyof Etciier. 
pivers fuper-emi!\ent Perfonagcs of the Bba Army (among 
whom z, Blindman was one) having had the Whim to paint 


Digitized by 


Bdttle of the Voice. i/j.3 

*^ Which,-*blaft their Peepers /—might urge to 

" In Flames of hXzzkNovemberh Fifth their Joyj 

^^ And from fack'd Conventicles, — but — for 

~* {(^) Baxter draw \ 

^* PeWs, Canting - Tubs, and Books of 

« I fay, my Bipods \ fhall of th' Old Rump the 

[recede ? 
^* Thipk we will ere from Cuftom's Right 

*^ No ; Sooner let the guilty (c) Sun be gay 

" Upon the Royal Martyr's facred Day ! 

^' No, my brave Bullies, with rough Shocks of 

** Firft tempeft their fanatic Souls to death : 


their Houfes, fignificantly, bf that Colour, to ihew theif 
Extravagance of Zeal ;— -it happened that, on their lofing 
an Ele£Uon, fome concealed- Wags of, the contrary Party 
daub'd this Gallows partly of that Colour, and withal hung 
^ragged black Crape upon it, for Mourning. 

(b) Baxter* s Boob.) James's Meeting-Houfe is, or I well 
know was, fumiihcd with Baxtea^s Works, in fevcnj 
Volumes^ Folio. 

(c) Smbegay.) I have heard it confidently averrM in 
Exeter, that thc.Sun never fhines clear on the ^oih of 
January. But they err'd egregioufly, cfpecially while the 
Old Style continued among us. 

Digitized by 


144 ^^ MOB IAD i or, 

" Your Bellows of diftended Lungs prepare 

*« To blaft the Pimps with ruthfuHeft Defpair ; 

" Enforce your Sinews ; clofe in firm Arrays 

" And plunge, o'er-turning, in the Depth of 

He fpoke ; and, ending > thrice with wilful Fift 

Beat up new-levy*d Anger to aflift. 

Th' Imperial Beaft with Tairs Rib-lafliing 

. His Choler thus to boiling Height provokes. 

The Azure Forces huddling clofe around. 

Feel the Oration^s ChartDt &nd club a Sound ; 

A Sound ? — Not {d) Mars fo loudly roaring 

When DiQMEj) had drawn his rabid Blood : 

In Vollies rais'd, loud, louder, and more loud, 

Tempeft*ous Onfets vex th' invaded Crowd. 

The Orbs of Sight with flafhing Outrage burn, 

While Buftlings work Coqfufipn's dire Return. 


(d) Marsy &c.) See HpM. II. lib. v. 

Digitized by 


♦ t 

Battle of the Voice ^ 145 

But— ftorms the Onfet unrepcU'd ? Oh ! can 

Stand paffive the infulted Tellow Clan ? — - 

As fcx)n could frifky Dancing-Maflers be 

Of folid Head, and fit from Fidging free* 

As foon could Sndiths their Trough's black 

Puddle y5«;/^. 
And Tuckers fuddle on their flimy Sig, 

As foon Shoemakers, in a Shilling rich, 

Could in a Garret on a Monday ftitch. 

As foon could (e) Clack, who all Things 

knows and more, 
Whofe Lip with Arts and Eloquence runs o'er, 

His Tongue's perpetual Motipnftop, and hpar 

His Mug-Mates take of Talk fomc little Share. 

No :— Wroth Benanak, bulky, tall, in Word 

And Adl robuft, with dauntlefs Stingo Ipurr'd, 

A forward Chief, of envy'd Fame among 

The high-fam*d Mighty oi^Saffron^dTbrong^ 

Mouths thus, — by Stretch of eager Tone to fire 

His touchy Cohorts with intenfer Ire :— . 

" League 

(i) Clack.) There's a numerous Race of thofeC/a^ix* 
I inftance them in the general Family. 

Digitized by 


146 Ibi MOBTADioft 

** Leagueof the Ortf«^ hear I BriveTe^ie^ 

« Whofe Hiiif the Sov'teign Mettal GOLD 

« And Guineas boaft the (fj Name i Shall 
beftial Force 

" Of (g) Hogfty Savages uncheck'd ha* Courfej 

** Who're rather like foul Swine themfelves fo 

much, r 1 I 

[touch ! 

«* Scarce naft'eft Jew (h) the filthy Herd would 

«« Shall Mifcr'ants, bred in Greafe,Blood, Draff, 
and Dung. ^^^^^^^ 

" Like Vixen Scolds brave Men fo Tilt of 

' « Shall 

(/) Name) Viz. oi Yellm-B^u 
fe) Hogfty Savages^ &€.] The Hog- fervlrtg Slaves of the 
Shambles, ts^ N* B. ^ A Hog was heretofore hicroglyphi-* 

* cally piflured to exprefs an Enemy to Qood Manners, 

* and a prophane Perfon. For the Eaftern Nations did fo 

* hate a Hog for his filthy Difpofition, that it was a Crime 

* for fome of their. Prieffis to touch it.* We make our Ben- 
An AK (or Son of Anak) exclaim principally againft thofe 
Enemies to Good-Manners, feeing many of them arc 
— [u e. about the Time 0/ writing wen}"^ the Ringleaders^ 
Strength, and Pride of the Party* 

(h) Piith^ Herd.) Our Journeym^i Butchers arc -^•^1. e» 
they at the Date of the Poem were]-" probably, in the gc^ 
neral, the moft beaftly filtliy Fellows, of tlie Profeffion, in 
the Univerfe. Scavengers and Ridders of Bog-Pits apptor 
not fo naufeous, [How they are now^ I77<** Ikm^im^l 

Digitized by 


BatHe of the Voice. 147 

** Shall fuch as from wild Bogland's (/)R?ipr 
parecs ' 

** Denomination take,— as bcft agrees,-— 

** Whofe ugly Hawing to our Teeth denotes 

*5 Their Prolpgue to th' old Play of Cutting 

'^'^'■' ' [of Rome, 

** Shall fuch mere Mongrels, the Half-fpawa 

" Againft Whole Proteftants reiiftlefs come ? 

** Shall Caitiffs whoop, as 'twere for Rebel War, 

•^ Like Varlet Clans led on by Traytor Mar ? 

" No, Liegemen, no : — The Perkinites (hall 

know -. ^ . 

[more floW. 

'* Our Strength keeps firmer, as it moves 

** Old Prophecies, I Ve heard, in Terms de- 
clare, j.„ . 


'' The Turk fhall fall by Meii of {k) telkm 
•* And (han't our chriftian 2>//i?«; Knots fubdue 
^* The more than heathenifh Cockades of Blue? 

T " They 

. (i) Rappams.) A Tory or a Rapparee originaDy means 
^e fame Perfon. 

{i) YtUow Hair.) See Bayl&'s Did. Art. MaHombt^^ 
Note [993. 

Digitized by 


.148 ^bt MOB IAD ^ or^ 

** They (hall : I fee how they inglorious droop 

" Ev*n on the Cockfcombs of their (I) Liv*ry 
Troop ; 

" They Ihall : — I fee already how they hang 

" Lithe on the Numfkulk of the beggar*d Gang, 

** As if from that Old tawdry (m) Vefture torn 

*' By Madam Blowza's foggy Buttocks worn, 

" Which, thriftlefs, (he converted late to Shreds 

" (dur Ridicule !) to deck their ftupid Heads. 

" And though in later Cloah fome Grander 

Wights r^. , 

^ [Sights, 

" Appear (n) Town-Whifflers to our diftant 

" Them 

{I) Livery:! roop.) The Attendants on the Honourable 
High-Sheriffatthc Affizes 1737 or 1738, vfOXtBlui Cockades^ 
in profefs'd Token of that Gentleman's being of the Blug 
Party, [Many have followed the Example fince^ ^770.^ 

(m) Vefiufi tortii Sec. On a certain former Eledion, a 
particular very fet Madam (whofe Hulband broke foon aftef, 
paying about 000 Nichils in the Pound) tore up her Blue Silk 
Gown to make Cockades therewith, all the bfue or purple 
Ribbon in thefe Parts being already ufed, and infufficient. 

(n) The City Waits, See before, Canto 3. Note, 
feverd Dons of the Party'have — [i, €• Had then] — lately, 
by Agreement and in Concert, made themfelvcs blue Cloaks : 
And three or four of them appearing in a Knot together 
have been at a Diftance verily miftakcn for the Waits. 

Digitized by 


Battle (f the Voice. 145 

« 21&e«futurcDayswithBlackfoftain*dihallfee 
« They'd, mournful, fcrvc in Death'is dark 

« Strut they xHftind the while ; — till, iham'd, 

they view 
" Not Blindmens Huts alone afFcft their Hue, 
** But (c>),Coblers petty Shops, in mimic Pride, 
*^ That mocks unwittingly, like vainly dy'd. 
« But let not Talk from Adion you withold: 
" Prove right Your Selves, or than Yourfelves 

more bold : rot 


" Engrofs the Winds, a:nd, with an Army's 

" Blow hufli theVapVings of the lawlefs Rout 5 

" A Shout fo mortifying, it may quell 

" Their Hope, fondWifli, and Longing to rebel. 

" Strain hard your Frame, and with Elboic 

^' Bear down the faucy Headlongs to the Duft. 

T » « Though 

(0) CoUer\ &c.) A Cobler's Shop fitaate near St. Olav^^ 
C3)urch« The Warden of that Parifh, in bis over-boiling 
{x>ve to the ]Kue Party, painted the fame of a vexy deep 
Blue, Windows, Stall, wi idl« 

Digitized by 


150 7be MOBIJD; or, 

« Though— (as the Aftor in the loyal Play 
" Caird Gato, in our Play-Houfe, usM to fay) 
** Though Mortals may not full Succcfs infure, 
" Let us dcferve it, and do nobly mprc.** 

He emis. {f>) C^millus, for Tripmphal 

Like the God5 Statues with ycrmilion-d Face, 
Did fcarcp in Cheeks fuch bloody Luftre fliow, 
As thdt wherewith his fiery Features glow. 
He ends. The hardy Bands of (q) Bufattcik 
Their Pot^nce \yith prevailing Voice the beft, 
Whqfc cvVy Throat with (r)JuNo*s feems to vie 
In Stentor's Form, as puih*d her Argives flyj 


(p) Gamilius.] Camil|.us, the Roman Diftator, in his 
Triumph for faking the Veii, enterM Rome in a Chariot 
drawn by Four milk-white Horfes, with his Face coloured 
with Vermilfon. But fuch Horfes fince the E:fcpulfipn of 
th^ TAR(yjiNs had not been allow'd but to Jupiter 
and Apollo : And the Statues of the Gods were wonted 
to be painted with Vermilion. 

(q) Buff'.'] That formerly was the Term of Diftindion 
aflumed by the then low Party; Sound and Buff being the 
difterent Shib^liths then, as Blue and Yellow now are* 

(r) JuH^ &c.) yW. If om; H. lib* s. / 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. 151 

Or (i) Thunderson's, revived Tertullus, 

His Rattle feeks to lead our Leading Men. 

More eager than the Sting of burning Thirft, 

And rapid as ere "^uly Thunders burft. 

Right gallant as lift Britain's nettled Sons 

TTo fvsringe th*infulting, proud, predacious DoNS^ 

TThey penetrate tb* ijiimic Prefs, $nd ply 

Leaps, Reels^ Stan^ps^ Pu(hes, to fupport the 

The Hall again fakes through rpbb'd Gate- 
way in 

Stir, Freak, Rant, Hurlyburly, ftunning Din, 

That, as with colic Throes convulsed, the Hall 

Groans hideous, twingM with the inteftine 

Scarce rack*d Vesuvius quakes endangered fo. 

When heard internal Storms of Fire to blow. 

(s) IhindirfonJ] If there be no noify, mobbifli, hot Son 
of 7bim4er^<tic, whg thus by the Npfe fccfcs to lca|d our Lea- 
ders, let him be fuppos'd only a Son of mere Pontic Fancy. 

Digitized by 


i5« "Ihe MOBIADi or^ 

In gen'ral Tumult fumes the Confliia :•- .Wide, 
Yet firmly denfe, the Swarms of either Side 
With fierce Variety of Combat ftrivc 
Through either Hoft Difcomfiture to drive, 

A Thoufand Feats, well worth an Ex'ter^s 

Praife, ^r 

{.Lays i 

And thrice three Thoufand Clamours claim our 

But each Exploit would, buthalf told, prolong 

In Folio Tomes, — defedive yet,— the Song. 

Wrath thro' the Whole in Conflagration fpreads. 

And agonifing Spite Infediou fheds ; 

A6 mortal Bites of Dogs infane inftil 

Ljke Fury, and a catching Luft to kill. 

Each Individual chafes in Look to grow 

A Phalanx fit to ftem th* unnumbered Foe $ 

As in each Arm, or Mouth, Decifion lay 

Of Struggle fole to terminate the Fray ; 

Or each impulsed with itiore ^zn Roman Ztsl 

Durft die (t) devoted for hisParty^s Weal, 


(t) Dopffted.} The old Romans etit^rtam-d an enthufi* 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. , 153 

And, bold as Curtius in his' brave Career, 

Leap'd in the Gulph^ could plunge in Seas«« 

But doubtful ftill to which the Day will fall : 

No (u) Ballance Jove fufpenda to weigh the 

Nor Thee, Astr^ea ! with thy Scales of Gold, 

Eyes, dim or jaundiced, in the Hall behold, 

Thy Bench in Heav'n by Faith they view, and 



The Scale of Haddy's Foes fhall {x) kick the 


aftic Notion that in Cafes of extreme Danger from their 
Enemies in Battle, &c. &c. if a worthy Perfon among 
them folemnly devoted himfelf to Perdition, and ruih'd on 
certain Death amid the Enemy, he thereby wrought Salvati- 
on f^r his Countrymen, &c. Many madly thu« dcftroy'd 
themfelves.— The Earth opening once iii the Forum, the 
Augun declar'd it could never be fill'd up till the Thing in 
which confifted the Strength of the State was caft into it, 
whereupon M. Curt x us, alking whether it confifted in 
any Tiling more than Arms and Courage, arm'd himfelf 
Cap-a-pee, and mounting a ftately Horfe, devoted YiimftK 
accordingly, and rode direftly into the Gulph. 

(«) Ballance.} Vid. Hom. D. lib. xxii. & Virg* ^n. 
lib. xii. 

(x) Kick the Beam*] See Milt. Par joft. Book iv. ver. 

Digitized by 


254 "^ MOBIADiir^ 

But what of that ? Too oft* we fighing kn6^ 
Thy Scales Above afFed not Scales BeltrtVi 

if Homer and Maro^ with their Gods of 

To ferve the Purpofes of Verfe, Were Bold 5 

And Them brought down, in Vehicles df Air, 

With Mortals in ungodly Strife to fhare. 

Good MiL'ToN, haply, made a fpice too free 

Both with the Devil arid — TttE Deitv* 

Monadic Bards th' old Painim Gods foriake i 

But {y) Gods as ^twere of fainted Deadmeii 

Thefe Volunteer's ere beats a Drum engage T 

'Gainft Infidels a Crufade War to wage, > 

And %ht Heav n's Battle with infernal Rage. J j 

To Purpofe more approv d might haply We 

(If bent to tamper with Machine) 


(y} God» as Uwire.'l To afcribe the Attributes of GOO 
to a Cnaiure feems really to deify that Creature, Such 29 in 
any Place, and perhaps in a great many Places, pray to a 
Man^ though called a Saint j muft imagine him differently 
preftnt^ and to h^itr Invokers in many^ perhaps all, Places. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Vme. 155 

Convene a Chapter of thofe Saints who bear 
O^er I'rades. and Traders tutelary Care, 
Who, kenning thus our Garboils rage fo large. 
Such Havock fattening on their divers Charge, 
Might in the Clouds affemble, and their Heads 
(Surrounding which a Blaze oiGlory fpreads) 
In Council join how War awhile might ceafe. 
And made be Ten Months Interval of Peace, 

{z) St. Blais£, who -« (if Monks neither 
fib nor doat) — 

Invoked, whip! preftol heals a {z)fquinzyd 

Though with his Flefli in bleeding Tatters 

Might come th* endangered Ombers Prelident. 

V To 

{%) St. Bkife^ &c.] The £/;«»</ afliires, that PerfonS, 
having a Jon Throaty who pray to St. Blaisb for Help, 
are ftrangely curM. — JVoolrcombers look upon him as the Aui- 
tfaor and Inventor of their Art and Trade, and reprefent and 
pi£hirehini as their Patron, with a Wool-comb in his Hand. 
The Suppoiai might poffibly be founded on his haying (as 
'tis pretended) his Jbleib torn by fuGh-lik« Inftrumeat asa 

Digitized by 


156 ^ MOB IAD i or. 

To fave her Coopers from a mortal Quarrel 

Might interpofe St. Mary of the {b) Barrel* 

To juft St. Joseph ought our Muse refer 

The tugging Joiner and the Carpenter. 

Bricklayers fhould St. GRtGoRY obtain ; 

The Grace of St. Eloi fhou'd Goldfmitbs gain. 

St. Ann fhould Grooms ailifl, though none in- 

Ev'n Butchers claim St. Mary of the Oak 5 

St. James to Hatters might his Gopdncfs grant 

Vpholfters^ fav'd from Fall, might praifeVsN ant. 

St. Leonard (hou'd no Stone-cutter forfake, 

' Nor Mary of Loretto thofe who Bake. 

For Taylors the beheaded Saint had flood 

Who duck'd Repentants in Old Jordan's Flood. 

St. Crispin might his Gentlecrdft. relieve : 

St. Eustace Aid to Innbolders fliou'dgive: 

The Flea'd Apoftle with his Knife might fidcl 
The broird St. Laurence Safety to provide V 
For Curriers and tough Tanners oi the Hide ; j 


(a) Barrel] Sta. Maria dc Copclla: CopeUa fignifying 
in Englijh A Barrel. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. i^y 

The Iaft-nam*d Saint might in like Wardfhip hug 
Thofe who apply or njend th* aperient Drug: 
Nor leave of Aid the Woollen drapers bare. 
Nor who at Wholefale deal in Staple Ware. 
The fwarthy Artifts fweating at the Forge , 

Should draw, unaiking, to their Help St. 

Carmen St. Vincent have a Guardian Saint 5 
Savior keep Sadlers fafej Luke thofe who 

Nay {b) Job perhap iov fome had prefent been 

Who've done lewd Worfliip to the {c) Cyprean 
Queen ; 

Since divers might, on Scrutiny^ be found 

With aking Bones who hoarfly fnuffle Sound ( 

Thefe, and the reft, whom canonizing Rome 

Appoints o*er Crajtfmen might in Vifion come - 

V 2 To 

(h) Job} Job has the Honour of being efteem'd the 
Patron of fuch as have the Venereal Malady. 

{c) Cyprean ^een] Venus, lewdly worfhipp*d, in OI^ 
Time, m the Ifland of Cyprus, 

Digitized by 


158 ^ MOB IAD i or. 

To Synod in the Sky j— and— (fincc fo jar 
Joiners with JoimrSy Smiths on Smiths fo war. 
Bakers at Bakers drive ; Wool-Combers fpight 
Their Fellows j Coopers one another fight j 
That equal Perils from the mingled Rage 
Abide the Objedls of their Patronage)-*—^ 
Refolvc with one Accord to interpofe, 
And by an bonelt Wile diflioncft Difcord clofe \ 
That falutary Wile then in the Brain 
Of fome fage Father, ftudious of the Main^^ 
Suggefted might, through Vehicle of Jfbite^ 
(Invention's Whet!) or C^^^ Steam alight. 
Hence Indigo, to counfel quick, nor flow 
Of Refblution, nor in A(aion low. 
Stout as Tydides, yet as Nestor wife^, 
Mi^ht,— thus infpir'd, clofe Cabal arife. 
And, confident of Trick-availing Skill, 
His Fluency of Tongue thus fwectly trill : 

" Copartners in the Caufe, whofe Blazonry 
V The Heav'ns afie^, as it adorns the Sky: 

I' Though 

Digitized by 


Battk of the Voice. tS9 

^^ Though would Occafion bid aflcrt the Fray, 
*^ And with MohProwefs vindicate the Day, 
" Yet paft Events warn to beware the Courfe 
" Of Butcher Fury and of Porter Force. 
'* The Foe of /^?/^— .(Beflirew the Change !)— 
havequeird [pellMj 

" Our hardeft Fifts, and Barg with Bruile re- 

i^« And where a fmuggled Odds, by dark 

Surprife, [Prize, 

" With Clubs in Ambufh, would redeem the 

•^ Law^ hamp'ring Lavf^ -^ which oft* to 

(d) SouTHGATE leads, [Heads. 

•^ ProvokM fell vengeful on our Champions 

*' Remains it» then, that Policy take placey 

** Such as may compenfate our laft Difgrace. 

** For who forgets that yet o'er-fclouding Shame 

" Of our fo baulk'd, thoiigh well-laid, Stra- 

*^g«n^> [Curtain drawn 
•^ Which we defignM (But be a 

^\ On that Affair, a Night unknowing Dawn!) 

« But 

(J^) $mihgati.'\ The Prifon, or Goal, in its inferiour 
D«ti, fox Felons of all Degrees, and in its upper Rooyrns for 

Digitized by 


i6o The MOBIADi or, 

" But did, — opprobr ous to our thwarted Aim, 

" The happier {e) Rectus to the Chair reclaim, 

" The Seat wherein HE, twice fix Moons 

" Our Envy^ and the Publick's Bleffings, bore. 

" Haddy, — you know, would his Ambition 

** In filling — as if juft ! — our Chieftan Seat» 

" Be *t ours with Guile to difappoint a View 

" That with the Yellow would overtop the Blue.' 

*^ Strength were at befl: precarious ; nor we may 

*^ Now hope Adjournment to atchieve Delay. 

" 'Tis gone from Jacinth to prorogue the 
, Poll, 
" Then in the Dark for Mercenaries prowL 

** And RECTUS, who as yet the Rudder guides, 

" Though mild and courteous, ftifF in Juftice 
prides i 

« With 

(e) ReSfus.l Mr. Symonds, a Gentleman of the wor- 
thicft Charafier, who was at this Time Mayor ; having 
been elefted the preceding Year (when he had been fet up 
only as a Stalkinghorfe, to facilitate the Choice of another, 
though he had honourably diTchargM the Oflfce but one 
Year before. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. i6i 

^* With Heart entire, and refolute in Right, « 
" No Wheadles lure him, no Pretences bite. 

^^ As foon the Prussian, xharm'd withpLEu- 

ry's Aim, .^, . 


" To Bergues and Juliers fliall renounce his 

" And, drain'd of fierce Difguft, the Porte 

V The envy'd Russ to keep her Oczakow : 

" As foon the Dutch give felfifh Treaties o'er, 

** And Spain our Shipping uncompell'd re-^ 

«^ France toil officious in dup*d Austria's 

" And Sweden aid, to get but Thank-ye by't. 

" Pult'ny asfoonfliallonSirRoBRETfawn,! 

" And Patr I cK*s Dean turn Sneak for Sleeves I 

of Lawn, 1 

" As warplefs Rectus will afide be drawn, j 

'* No :-— other Management, prefage I, would 

« Be his than that when manag'd Jacinth 

*^ Wife Caution guide, then j nor on windy Cry, 

** Nor fpecious Colour, ever more rely. 

« Tis 

Digftized by 


itz Ihe MOBIAD% cr^ 


'Tis in our Hands, though Scruples might 

" Our Caufe from Hansard of Relapfe to rid 

" Were once more Haddy to fair Chance 

« Haddv,^ the Idol of the hated Herd ! 

« My Heart forebodes, our Fraud and Farce 

were vain ^ . 


** Theirs were the Glory, ours the Shame 

" But H E afide,— -we may to Ufe apply 

« Old (fj Expletive, ~ a Tool; for Years 
f et by ; 

** But well referv'd for fuch convenient Hour, 

" To chear our Blue,— znd daunt the 2^/W 

" My Sentence is proposed. Advife> if ye 

** Have apter Counfel, or with mine agree.** 

Thus cloilng might he fit. And Mazarine, 

Slow rifing, might next in Oration fhioe^ 


(/) Expletive.] Mr. Culm£, who had been long thrown 
afide, and was at this critical Seafon pitcb'd on but to fenre 

an End. 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Vmce^ 163 

More fage in Youth than if Ulysses' Pate 
On green Tejlemachus's Shoulders fate. 

And thus addrefs'd :— " Ye, Confcript Fathers^ 

" On Me for fafe Diredlion fix your Sight, 
*' For a Diftator fram'd. And well ye know 
** What Benefits to my Advice ye owe, 

^* Whofe Chin, fcarce confcious of the Razor's 

" Yea ere its woolly Down began to fledge, 

*' For Years have, to your Wifdom's Praife, 

" Yqu mete not Sapience by Length of Beard. 

" Howlarge could I in pompous Strains declare 

" The'Greatnefs of my future Reigning Year. 

" But Time (hall fpeak;— And, in laconic Style, 

^* Be pleas'd to know :— I recommend the Wile : 

**' Be ExPLETr^^E your prefent Shift, firtce vaiii 

^* This Seafon wcte my Enterprife to reign : 

f^ Whereas Twelve Months improved aright 

rhay clear 
^^ An Ope for fure Acceffion to the Chair. " 

X ^ * Thirs 

Digitized by 


i64 ^e MOBIADi or. 

Thus might the venerable Daniel end. 
And none reply, but, backing, to commend i 
With Glee xht Junto might adopt the Scheme, 
And voted Thanks refound his Senfe fupreme : 
Reduced to Practice the Defign take place. 
And fit in Chamber with demure Grimace. 

Such, fay we, mighty if noti^iw^are that Skill 
And Strength would fail a too advent'rous Will, 
Nor (g) Audience fit unhop'd, we here aflay. ^ 
But left we blunder in wild Paths aftray, > 
We'll ftill piirfue the beft-known fafer Way. j . 

^ The Sun now, (haping duly South hisTour, 
Marks on true Dials Low Life's (/&)Dining-Hour. 


(g) Audience Jit. 1 According to Mil TON *s very necefla- 
ly Petition to Urania, *^ Fit Judience findy though few.** 

(b) Low Lifers Difiing,'\ Twelve 6' Clock, when the Vul- 
gar ox Jimple Sort, fuch of them as have any Thing to eat, 
particularly Journeymen Helliers, Mafons, Joiners, Smidis, 
Taylors^ &c. precifely go to Dinner : -Of fome of whom it 
has^been obferv'd, or pretended to have been obferv'd, that 
at tl\? very firft Stroke of the Clock, they have left Strokes 
of their owmmfinilhi'd, "■* tT To prevent cavilling Cr^ticks^ 
W^ Qiuft here note^ that tho' the Fnenun are by us allow'd 


Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 165 

The Thralls in Southgate hav^, with tir'd 

Fi/h*(J yp almoft ThFce^half-pcnce with the 

Shoe. ^ 

At Westgate Clowns lean awkward on their 

Rods, - - 

[nods ; 

And, gaping, wait 'till (/) Matthew Millar 

Nor little ftrange at the myfterious Cafe, 

A ilf/7/tfr ftiould thu§ wear a Colliers Face. 

Clocks blefs'd ! found Cupboard : Good-wives 
Belows ply; 

Boys fpring from School, (harp-fet, withExftacy. 

Poft-OfEce Window, flap ! claps to : In vain 

Poflers with Letters tofave Twopence ftrain: 

X 2 For 

to be, all or moft, in and about the Guildhall on the Bufi* 
nefs of the Day, yet Numbers of Journeymen, &c. may 
be, and indeed are, Strangers, and fuch as are not Free. 
Beiides, Noon indiiFerently, at any Time, is here intended 
to be thus defcribed. 

(i) Matthew the MtUar.'l One of the Images at the 
Tower uf St. Mary Steps^ which, nodding its Head by 
Clockwork, feems to affift in the Chimes, which play at 4, . 
8, and 12. They call him the Millar, tho' by his black 
Cornple^Ion "^[tutjince the writing this Poem new paintedy'* 
)ie ihouid feem to have been rather a Collier th^ a Mi%i> 

Digitized by 


i^^ Tie MOBIADi < 

For {k) 8t ANN AW AY,— or Yokefellow in lieu. 
More forward, fmiles the running Gain to view. 
Now Trowels back unusM the Mortar throw, 
Half-driv'n remains the Nail with Half a Blow, 
Smiths drop the mounted Sledge, and CrofsM-* 

From Shopboard, and to Cooks or (/) Church- 

The Conclave opes ; Th' AfFairs of Secret end ; 

Furr d Gowns to grace the Nether Bench 
defcend : 

But on the Stairs, until fome narrow Way 

Opes for Accefs, prolong uneafy Stay. 

As Armies, difciplin'd to Adion, nerve 

Their harras*d Ranks with Bodies ofReferve, 

Impetuous in, at once, Outftanders break, 

WithVoicc unbrok^, oshftr/^'rpus, to the FreaL 


(I) Siarmaway.'] Precifely at Twelve is ihut the Poft- 
Ofiice Wooden Cafement ; outfide waitsMr.ST annaway, 
Poft to HonitoR, or liis Wjfe,. tp receive Letters (for cz^ 
of\^hichbehas ad.) td be pint ineo tKe Bag at is&if t<^» 
[N.OTB, fffefpe^k oftbi Tim0 whm tit Fiem was wriutn*] 

il) Churchyard^ &c.] Here, they tell us, (I fuppofe jocu- 
larly) Taj^ors fpend their Nooii ^out^ Mrhcn they have no 
Dinner fave Air. 

Digitized by 


Batk of the V(H€e. iSy 

To driH a Pafs now feems Safupfinian Toil, 

Though Staffs of high Commiflion plowing 

Thole magic Staffs which hickn Treafure find. 
And evil Spirits from Nights-walking bind ; 
The Staffs which dare thump ope robufteft 

Staffs which wrong-fided Drunkards fink before* 

Worjc now Heads, Elbows, Knees, Heels, 
Breads, and Backs, 
Till by detorting Jerks the Cieling cracks ! 
And, as ftrctch'd Boots on forcive (m) Trees 

Dimenfion, Walls extruded fecm to bend. 
The graceful Portrait of the (n) Princely Dame, 
Isca's fair Native, fhudders in the Frame. 


(m) Trm»] Viz. Bootmakers frfes^ fo called. 

(ff) Princely Dame.] In t;he Guildhall are at full Length 
the Portraits of his prefent Majefty K. George II. — of 
the Princels Henrietta Maria, Daughter of K. 
Charlbs I. |be bcin^ a Native of the City; — and of 
Gen. Monk, Earl of Albemarle^ a Drvonjhir^ Man born. 

Digitized by 


i68 Tbe MOBIJD, or, 

Monk eke in PiiSurc fbakes, as if the No/e 

Q{{o) Noll withVengance to his Seeming rofe* 

Ev'n (p) C-ffiSAR, whofe heroic Soul no Awe 

EV felt when He grim Danger inftant faw, 

C-ffiSAR, who on infanguin d (q) Belgians Plain^ 

And bis own raging and (r) rebellious Mdw, 

Shewed Churchill's Self more how quick 

Fate to brave, 
And Wagek to fuftain the {s) wrackful Wavej 

CjESAR, who dares, by Juftice led, defy 1 

Leagued France and Spain, though flum- ' 

bers neuter by | 

The lull'd, feduc'd, ingrateful, (r) did Ally ;J 

Britannia's Caesar, with majefticFear, 

In painted Image y feems the Shock to hear* 


{o) Noll.] Oi^ivkr Cromwell, wont tobecall*4 
OLD Noll, and his Nofe efteem'd notable. 

(p) Cafar,'] The Pifture of K. Georgb II. juft above 
already mentioned. 

{q) Viz. When he was Prince of Hanover ^ and fought 
in the Army commanded by the Duke of Marlborou^hy ^c. 

(r) His Britannick Majefty being afferted Sovereign of 
the Britijb Seas* 

. (s) Alluding to the dangerous Paffage from H^Uandj in 
which his Majefty with Admiral Wager bad like to have 
been caft away. (i) The Dutcb^ . 

Digitized by 


Battle of the Voice. 169 

The (u) LiOfii trembling as if heard below 

At once the (x) Globe's coUeaed {y) Cocks to 

Threats to defert his t^oft, and, with his Mate 

Oi Jingle Horn, refign the Shield to Fate. 

Bodies, on either Side, contiguous drove. 

Incorporate ev*n to the Letter prove. 

That from aloft Imagination dreads 

TvfoHumanHydras with Two Thoufand Heads. 

Ten caftilefs Debtors in that dreary Cave 

Tclep^diht {i6) Shoe more free a Breathingiiave* 


(u) Liony &c.] The Lian, Supporter of the KingV 
Arms fix*d over the Mayor's Seat. 

(x) Globe,] The Globe Tavern, where Cock fighting 
is often held.*~[i. e. was often held at or about the Time of 
fPriting this PoemJ] 

(y) Cocks,] According to antiently received Notion, (but 
a Vulgar and exploded Error) living Lions ufed to tremble 
on hearing a Cock crow; as, on the other Hand, Bulls 
would fhed their Urine, for very Dread, on hearing a Lioh"^ 
Roar I how truly let others fay. 

(z) The Shoe,] So iscall'd a little clofe Room m.Southgate 
Prifon, where fuch poor infolvent Debtors as can't pay for 
Lodgings, are [i. e. have been] crowded, or crufli^d in toge- 
ther. It feems to have received its Denomination from the 
Privilege they, in Turn, have of begging Charity of Paffers 
by, they by a Cord letting down an Old Shoe t6 receive the 

Digitized by 


1^0 Jbe MO BIADi or, 

(a) Scruple the juft, who Raifin tkcs in twain, 
That Scales do upright Juftice to a Graiiii 
Ne*er bought at Weyhill, nor retaird in Shop, 
More flat, compact, in turgid Sack, the Hop j 
Nor Smoke-cur*d Herrings he imbarrerd chofe 
For like Comprcffion of their fquatted Roes. 
Bellies protuberant and Shoulders crump 
Expedl to lofe their Prominence and Hump. 

Heart, Lights, and Liver, fore Conftridtion 

moan ; .. , 

[wels groan. 

Punched Bofoms murmur, and fquelfh'd Bo- 
Some Galltgajkins to the helplefs Nofe 
The mimick'd {J?) Guhrti bruis'd Relief difclofe* 


(i) BcrupU the Juji.'] A good old Juftice, renoWn^a for 
Stri(anefs, and upright holding his Shop Scales, &c, &c. 

(c) Gulon,] This being a moft voracious Beaft, when he 
has a Carcafs larger than would ferve for one Meal, he ne- 
ver ftirs from the Place till he has difpatch'd the whole, un- 
lefs that, when he is ;full cramm'd, and can hold no more, 
he goes to find two Trees very clofe together, through the 
Interval whereof he drags and fqueezes his Body ; and fo he 
gets rid of what he before devoured, in order immediately, to 
fall to again. 

■ Digitized by 



Battle of the Voice. iji 

Danmoniah Swaios their grinded. Apple prefs 

To force Pomaceous Wine with Effort Icfs 

Than which the Stronger of the JVedgdzSzy 

For their Patricians a progreffive Way ; 

Yet all the Void the genVal Squeeze may boaft 

Proves but an Alley's Six-Inch Wedth at moft ; 

Whofe {c) tott'ring Sides, fway'd by th* elaftic 

Next Moment clofe, and choak the petty Road; 

Thro* which as, iideling, rubb'd, the Robes 

To grating Buttons they tranflate the Fur. 

The Conscript Sires their arduous Tug 

And puffing gain their &fe and reftful Seat ; 

There to dilate anew the fbreighten'd fireaft^ 

And meditate a compenlating Feaftj 

Y Where 

(c) tottmng Sides.'i Meaning tht Conftables and ftrong 
Men who comptfe the Sides of the little Lane thus fo 
difficultly nude i and fcarcely &ve thcmfelves from being 

Digitized by 


172 ^be MOBIADi or. 

Where, whilft go {d) meliorated Batapers round, 

The Hours fhall with augmenting Glee be 

TiU {e) Sir Jtbn Adee, late,, by Minftrel's 

And (/) Zwopping'Mallard by their own, be 
Severe (g) Apollo on a Tide may laugh. 
And Jove on Gatds crank v^ith Codlings quafi; 

So (durft we, as your topping Poets dare, 
A low-iife Brute with lofty Man compare) 


(d) Meliorated.}. J^.Ms Word hangs a Tale of a face- 
tious Alderman decea^'d, who order'd an Attendant to pour 
out half a GUfs of Cyder, but withal bad him meliorate it, 
pointing to a Decanter of Port Wine : And having taken it 
elF, turns to a Brother Alderman, yetjexifting, *-*[£«< 
died long fince ; which. L now write in Tear 1770.]— i^^ State 
by him fmoaking his Pipe, faying. Dp you know what me- 
liorating a Thing is^ Mr. Alderman ? — " Knoigjyhat 'tis ? 
replies the Sage, nodding his wife Head, *^ *5l^.yes, I 
know what 'tis : *Tvi Port and Cyder. v* 

(e) Sir John Jdee.} See before pa» N«te ( )* 

(f) Zwopping Mallard.'] Another fevouritc old Chamber 
Song, firft introduced and ufually fung by the ^ve Recor- 
der himfelf* 

{g) Apollo^ &c«] Alluding to Semel in^ anno ridet A^lh^ 

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tiatk of the Voice. 173 

(b) A tabby Tygrefs of famUiar Race 

Wiredraws her Loins thro' fomc ftrift Cranny's 

In Dread ofF-ftript lier furry Drefs to find. 

And even Half her Intrails left behind : 

But, after panting in enlarged Room, 

Revives her Hope to meet a counter Doom ; 

Her fwelling Womb extends its flattened Frame, 

Well-fcented Gates her eager Guft inflame : 

Or, haply, (he may with erefted Ear 

The Squeek of lufcious Game domeftic hear, 

Nor doubt e*er long a Feafl of Ven*fon Cheer.^ 

Augmented Outcries Strength of Whirlwinds 

Threatening the heaving Roofs* pufFd Over* 

Not when, on Birth-days, loyal Powder roars 

In joyous Union through train d Mufket-Bores 

Of full Battalion, e'er a Burft fo loud 

Was heard to fhatter an impending Cloud. 

Y 2 The 

(h) tatty Tygrefsy &c.] Meaning a Houfliold CaU 

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* 174 "^ MOBIJDi or. 

The Welkin ikrinks,. andftarting Air around 
Fears a Vulcanian Rupture of the Ground* 
Command for Silence bids the Tempeft fwell ; 
The Word repeated does the Thing repel ; 
For Silence ! Silence I with extended PowV, 
From ev'ry Mouth relbunding ftrlve their Hour. 

But Marfhals> who (i) Stentorian Clamour 

To quafli the Storm, at laft, a Paufe obtain : 

Then " O— o-o- Y-e-s !— longly drawlM,— as 
Ufe decrees, 

*^ That Free Men {of high, loWy or, no Degrees) 

" To choofe a new Prime Magiftrate draw 

" And Aliens, to avoid the Jail, retire." 

The fage {k) Propkjetor, tho* exerted ftrong, 

Yet fmooth his Accent, to the buzzing Throng, 


{/') Stentorian Clamour,^ Stentor, in the Grecian 
Army before Troy, is (at kaft poetically) recorc]^ to have 
equaird Fifty ordinaryvMen in Loudnefs of Voice. Vid, 
HoM. II. lib. V. ver. 784. Or the mere Englljh Reader 
iriay fee Pope's Tranfl. ver. 976, &c. or fce'Juv. Sat. xiii. 

{k) Profrataul The Recorder, Mr. Serj, B-Ifr-d» 

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. '■'Tir' 

Bdttle of the Voice. 17J ^ '^^- 

On Tiptoes of Expea:ance,«~All attent 

Their Ears as Thebes e'er to (/) Amphion lent. 

To fuck the Charms of dulcet Eloquence, 

Backed with deep Knowledge and illumin'd 
^Senfe, ^^m 

Yields thus his Oral Mufick :— ^•^ Gen-tle-men,^ 

(Tbeir Styk Hobday i^^To^morrow Scrubs agen)^: 

** Since has the Mat^^r his Confulate gone 

" (For which, moft worthily, our Thanks are 
" I muft inform yoxiy'^{tbougb already knowny^ 
*' It's the fix'd Conftitution of our Town, 

' *' When 

(/) AmfhtMn^ The Fable of his miraculous Lyre, at hit 
playing on which the Stones which built the Walls of 
Thebes, danced to the Places where Aey fliould be lay*d, 
is reasonably fuppos'd to have had no other Bottom than that 
when be invaded that Country, and carried Mufick, which 
he had learn'd in LvoiA, then firft into Greece with 
him, the Melody was fo admired for its Excellence and 
Novelty, that he eafjy engaged the People to carry on the 
Building whilft he diverted them with his Harp.' Or it as 
probably means, that whereas they were before naturally 
rude and uncivilie'd, they were by his Eloquence induced to 
inhabit within the fame, and live under Laws la Community 

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176 ^Tbe MOBIADi or, 

** When caird on to fupply the Chair Supreme, 
^* Your GovERNouRs have Right repos'd in 

" To fix, as proper Candidates, on Two^ 
« Of. whom thtpropereji remains to Youc'* 
5o, with a graceful Emphafis of Tone, 
TWO nominates, for their, Suffrages ONE. 

But fcarce the Cadence from his Lip can fly. 
Ere Quarrel joins in one harmonious Cry, 
Or but contends which Lungs furpaffing Might 
Could have atteftedjn a lengthen d Fight. 
Difcord atoned now in flrange Union flrives. 
And Peace in unaccuflom*d Concord thrives.— 

WithCuLME! Culme! Culmej the altered 

Hall abounds; ' r- , 


Culme! unoppos'd from valid Throats re- 
Windows and Walls feem Culme to fhout: 

On hiffh r , 

^ • [reply. 

Accordant Echoes Culme ! Culme ! Culme ! 


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Battle of the Voice. . 177, /^^, 

No Deed, no Word, no Look, betrays a Fear ; ^^s^'i 

No Foot recedes \ all Hands Refiftance dare : 
AU to the Palm difputelefs Title bring. 
And, without Conqueft, all Ovation ring. 

Now lovely founds the confentaneous Jar ; ^ 
Now beautifully fmiles, appeas'd, the War ;. 
Now Party Battle proves a focial Play ; 
Now Wraths turn Friendfhip, bent the felf-fame 

So Winds whofc Force, by Winds opposed, 

might wage » 

A Storm, and lafh the Main to furly Rage ; 
But one Point blowing, though with ftronger 

Delight the belly*d and more fpeeded Sails. 

Amazing Turn! — Bells wak*d in Traniporl . 
Strange early Pulls exhort each flinging Wheel, 


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WhoTe jooind Rounds the baffled. Variance 

As dius tbe jokeful Confort feems to run : — > 
Vidoriotts All !-^yet none a Foe fubdues ! 
The Yellows loft not,— though have won the 


End of Canto VL and of the Poem, 


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